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Bah! Humbug!

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 MakingLemonade (original poster member #41143) posted at 7:46 PM on Monday, December 9th, 2013

Running a low grade fever for the past few days and feeling pitiful and lonely. (Admittedly, I am a needy sick person.) Finally got my rusty dusty up today and pulled out the Christmas decor. Last year I changed how I decorated the home and really liked it, so I took pics to remember how to set things out this year. Went back to look at them on the computer and GREAT! Pics of XWH in the mix.

For lack of a more genteel word, now I am pissy! Worked my tail off to make last year a special Christmas as I took over hosting his family since mil's battle with cancer was soon to come to an end. All the while XWH is keeping up the mirage of being a faithful husband, family man, and doting son while for years unzipping his pants for anyone that obliged him. His mother would literally be curled up in a fetal position, hysterical if she had known who her son really was/is.

Struggling lately with rectifying what I thought was true and now knowing what is actually true. My kids and I had a perfect Thanksgiving together. Really wanting to redeem Christmas too. I don't know whether to melt into a puddle of tears or throw something.

[This message edited by MakingLemonade at 2:35 PM, December 9th (Monday)]

Me: 40's; XBS Him: 40's; XWS/NPD/SA
D-day 1: 5/2007- A #1; 7/2007 A #1 continued-R
D-day 2: 3/2013 A #2/multi-ONSs; 4/2013 A #2 continues to present
D: 7/2013 (25 yrs together; days shy of 22nd anniversary-GOAL MET!)
Our kids: teen & tween

posts: 168   ·   registered: Oct. 28th, 2013   ·   location: Southern US
id 6590922
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Deeply Scared ( Administrator #2) posted at 8:38 PM on Monday, December 9th, 2013

(((MakingLemonade)))

Just a hug to let you know you were heard...I'm sorry you're struggling today.

"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." My Mom:)

My tolerance for stupid shit is getting less and less.

posts: 210060   ·   registered: May. 31st, 2002
id 6590991
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nowiknow23 ( member #33226) posted at 8:44 PM on Monday, December 9th, 2013

Vent away. Scream if you need to. And then make this Christmas the way you want it to be for you and the kids. (((((hugs)))))

You can call me NIK

And never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.
― Sarah McMane

posts: 40250   ·   registered: Aug. 29th, 2011
id 6591000
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 MakingLemonade (original poster member #41143) posted at 9:24 PM on Monday, December 9th, 2013

In grateful tears. Thank you for hearing me, DS and NIK!

Me: 40's; XBS Him: 40's; XWS/NPD/SA
D-day 1: 5/2007- A #1; 7/2007 A #1 continued-R
D-day 2: 3/2013 A #2/multi-ONSs; 4/2013 A #2 continues to present
D: 7/2013 (25 yrs together; days shy of 22nd anniversary-GOAL MET!)
Our kids: teen & tween

posts: 168   ·   registered: Oct. 28th, 2013   ·   location: Southern US
id 6591054
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