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MakingLemonade posted 12/9/2013 13:46 PM

Running a low grade fever for the past few days and feeling pitiful and lonely. (Admittedly, I am a needy sick person.) Finally got my rusty dusty up today and pulled out the Christmas decor. Last year I changed how I decorated the home and really liked it, so I took pics to remember how to set things out this year. Went back to look at them on the computer and GREAT! Pics of XWH in the mix.

For lack of a more genteel word, now I am pissy! Worked my tail off to make last year a special Christmas as I took over hosting his family since mil's battle with cancer was soon to come to an end. All the while XWH is keeping up the mirage of being a faithful husband, family man, and doting son while for years unzipping his pants for anyone that obliged him. His mother would literally be curled up in a fetal position, hysterical if she had known who her son really was/is.

Struggling lately with rectifying what I thought was true and now knowing what is actually true. My kids and I had a perfect Thanksgiving together. Really wanting to redeem Christmas too. I don't know whether to melt into a puddle of tears or throw something.

[This message edited by MakingLemonade at 2:35 PM, December 9th (Monday)]

Deeply Scared posted 12/9/2013 14:38 PM

(((MakingLemonade)))

Just a hug to let you know you were heard...I'm sorry you're struggling today.

nowiknow23 posted 12/9/2013 14:44 PM

Vent away. Scream if you need to. And then make this Christmas the way you want it to be for you and the kids. (((((hugs)))))

MakingLemonade posted 12/9/2013 15:24 PM

In grateful tears. Thank you for hearing me, DS and NIK!