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Condom Question-A little Tmi Warning

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jzkc1502 posted 12/9/2013 14:31 PM

In the string of my WH's cheating he's always maintained that he only called/texted the escorts and never actually met up with one. Based on phone records it seems nearly impossible that an escort would call/text that much without having him as a customer, it's alarming. Anyway, one weekend during this period I was out of town, this is about 2 months after we were married. He picked me up at the airport and on our way home I jokingly asked him how many times he had to jerk off from missing me. He said none he was waiting for me. So we have sex and (sorry TMI warning) I didn't want him to finish in me so he finished on a towel. I knew he hadn't just gone 4 days without doing anything because there wasn't a lot. I asked again being like "oh haha, you definitely j-off" he said no again. (Again we were always open about this as I'd send him dirty pics quite often for him to use). He goes to take a shower and I'm picking up some things and I find a used condom on the floor. In the pit of my stomach I knew. We weren't using condoms but we did keep them around for times I would forget to take my pill. I bang on the bathroom door and scream why did I find a used condom on the floor. Muffled response "What?". I repeat. He then opens door to see it and he says "Oh, yea I jerked off in it". So I'm like "You just said you didn't the whole time I was gone." His story has never changed from that. I feel like people reading this now want to reach through their monitor and smack me into seeing the light. Why do I want to hold onto that that is the truth? Is there any guy here who has used a condom for that?! I've never heard of that before!!

cl131716 posted 12/9/2013 14:34 PM

Very hard to believe! I've heard of that before but I am very doubtful that is the case especially if he LIED about jacking off in the first place.

(((jkc1502)))

DeadMumWalking posted 12/9/2013 14:35 PM

Ummmm......kleenex, yes......underwear, yes......towel, yes.......

Using a condom for masturbation?? Give me a break

I'm so sorry, he's lying.

((((jzkc))))

Uhtred posted 12/9/2013 14:48 PM

How old is he? Sounds like something a 13 year old kid would do.

burntandtorn posted 12/9/2013 14:52 PM

I have to admit, I've used a condom a couple times just for a different sensation. I just wanted to put this out there so you'd know that at least it is a possibility.

jzkc1502 posted 12/9/2013 14:53 PM

How old is he? Sounds like something a 13 year old kid would do.

He was 25 at the time. I agree as I was thinking it out, maybe I could see a young teen using it, but a grown-ass married adult guy? And like cl131716 pointed out, he lied twice that he didn't j-off so it makes it even more fishy to me.

jzkc1502 posted 12/9/2013 14:54 PM

I have to admit, I've used a condom a couple times just for a different sensation. I just wanted to put this out there so you'd know that at least it is a possibility.

Good to know. I wish though he didn't lie making me doubt his story.

JanaGreen posted 12/9/2013 14:57 PM

I know of a guy who uses condoms in this way. I still am not sure why he shared this information with me, but there you go. I'm sure it would be less messy. I also don't know if I believe your husband's story.

jzkc1502 posted 12/9/2013 15:02 PM

Huh. I guess I struggle with the answer so bad because during the time this happened he was calling/texting escorts 200+ times. A particular "favorite" was called and texted that exact weekend I was gone. So now I'm really supposed to buy his jerk off story coupled with the fact he lied about j-off??! Gah I wish this wasn't happening!!!

numb&dumb posted 12/9/2013 15:06 PM

I have to admit, I've used a condom a couple times

(Raises hand)

Possible, maybe even plausible. Alone it would not be a cause for concern, but in light of other events, it definitely seems suspicious.

markyall posted 12/9/2013 15:34 PM

I call bs
hate to do it but.... smack

confused615 posted 12/9/2013 15:51 PM

Plausible? Sure.

But considering he was calling escorts at the time..and the amount of calls/texts while you were out of town AND the fact that he said he didn't jack it while you were gone(and,as you said, the two of you were very honest about masturbation at the time)...yeah..the condom was used for sex. You want to believe otherwise,of course. But common sense says he used it for sex.

What did you do with the condom? Does he think you threw it away? If it were me, I'd get sneaky. I'd tell him I had taken it out of the trash and sent it out to a lab to get tested. That,obviously they will find his DNA on it..but shouldn't find a woman's DNA, since he claims he used it to masturbate...then I'd tell him I'd gotten a call from the lab..the results are in..and that I am giving him one last chance to be honest because if the lab confirms a woman's DNA on that condom, then he can GTFO.

But,then, that's just me. I've had to resort to lying to get the truth from WH in the past...and in this case,where my health and my marriage where at risk..I'd lie again.

jzkc1502 posted 12/9/2013 16:01 PM

What did you do with the condom? Does he think you threw it away? If it were me, I'd get sneaky. I'd tell him I had taken it out of the trash and sent it out to a lab to get tested. That,obviously they will find his DNA on it..but shouldn't find a woman's DNA, since he claims he used it to masturbate...then I'd tell him I'd gotten a call from the lab..the results are in..and that I am giving him one last chance to be honest because if the lab confirms a woman's DNA on that condom, then he can GTFO.

Ahhh why weren't you in my life earlier?! This is from back around DDay and I threw the condom out. WHYYYYY!!!!! At least I could have had a little sanity maybe if I could have proven 100% there was no female DNA on there. UGH.

somanyyears posted 12/9/2013 16:09 PM


..your story and his lies both point to him bull-shitting you.

..he will, of course, deny, deny, deny..

..trust your gut.. he's been screwing around while you were gone..

..sorry you have a lying, cheating H.

smy

confused615 posted 12/9/2013 16:12 PM

Ah, I didn't check your dday. Yours was 3 years ago,same as mine. So a little late for that story. Hmm.

What about asking him..or telling him..to take a polygraph? Tell him you can not move forward without the truth.

HurtButHopeful? posted 12/9/2013 16:35 PM

If you really need to know, I second confused615's idea

What about asking him..or telling him..to take a polygraph? Tell him you can not move forward without the truth.

steadfast1973 posted 12/9/2013 17:09 PM

Ok, so my WH used the services of an escort last month... He had started talking to her in may, he made an appointment and cancelled it. I dunno, after a certain point she had an attitude of now or never... It took him a few months to go through with it... But he did it...

jzkc1502 posted 12/10/2013 08:32 AM

Thanks for the replies all. I guess using a condom for that IS possible. I just still don't think I believe it given the ongoing circumstances at the time:
1. Calling/texting escorts
2. I was out of state for 3 days
3. He was calling/texting escorts during those 3 days.
4. He said he did not j-off in those 3 days

And now he has the nerve to actually get mad at me when I say I think he actually used it to have sex with someone.

[This message edited by jzkc1502 at 8:33 AM, December 10th (Tuesday)]

LeopoldB posted 12/10/2013 11:39 AM

Sounds suspicious, however...

I have used condoms for jerking off many times over the years when I find them in my luggage or toilet kit. Once they go past the expiration date, I figure I should take them out of action and why just throw them away. It's a judgement call as to how far past the expiration date I am willing to trust them. It's longer than a carton of milk or eggs... but not much.

On the other hand, leaving a spent condom on the floor does not ring true. Who does that? That is post sex behavior, not post masturbation.

StillGoing posted 12/10/2013 11:42 AM

On the other hand, leaving a spent condom on the floor does not ring true. Who does that? That is post sex behavior, not post masturbation.

Yeah, this. It kind of defeats the purpose of tidiness anyway.

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