[This message edited by TattoodChinaDoll at 11:23 PM, December 9th (Monday)]
Confronted him: 12/22/2011
This is the most difficult thing I've ever done.
"We're not broken, just bent. We can learn to love again."
I have been trying, at different times throughout this, to explain how I spent 15 years showing my love and dedication to him and its only now, after he had a girlfriend for three months, that he is seeing it?
It's a little frustrating to say the least.
Words don't mean anything- I had words before.
Hell, sometimes actions don't mean anything- my H was always pretty great.
It's so hard sometimes when he talks about the now- or even the "then"-
I'm not upset with him- its just i dont know if i will ever fully believe him.
Apparently the million and one things that i did pre A were not enough to convince him of my love (FOO issues as well)-
How am I supposed to believe that now is any different?
Were we being tested to see if we REALLY love them?
Sorry- I didn't mean to tangent on your post.
Hugs to both of you- I have no answers, just letting you know that I understand.
I thought I had stopped pretending. I was wrong.
Me- BS 41
Him- WS 38 and STBX
2 DS- 15 and 16
DDay 1- 07-24-2013
DDay 2: EA w/CoW, 06-15-2017
Such a hard, hard lesson though.
How could they not see our love and yet be taken in by the "love" of an OW? WTF is that about.
By being too scared to be truly vulnerable to us they leave themselves vulnerable to a complete shitstorm of agony.
It's really hard for many of us to receive and accept the love we're given. It took me 40 years to accept that my W really did love me. (That was about 5 years before she cheated!) She never could accept the love that was given to her, though, I guess because she never loved herself.