Has anyone ever read this book, or gotten anything out of it? I'm just curious - I've heard of this author but haven't ever read anything by her.
Very illuminating. I highly recommend these books. They fall in line with everything our counselors are saying as well. It really helps someone who's codependent on their parents learn to detach.
It was easy to see specific parents leap off the page, and dive into various reasons why (we) behave as we do with them.
To come to terms and deal with them whether they are living or deceased, you have current contact or you don't, and to realize that they are who they are and they will not change even if you confront them. Getting them to or expecting them to change is not the end goal in confrontation.
Susan Forward has lots of good books. We read Emotional Blackmail too. Described my MIL very well. So, therefore Toxic Inlaws is on my reading list too.
Also read Obsessive Love to have a greater understanding of the 'bunny boiler' type of AP.
Status: D 2011
Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron
It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K. Rowling
Can anyone recommend books specifically dealing with NPD, especially NPD parents/mothers?
I've not read it but I've seen it on Amazon's suggestions list..... Will I Ever Be Good Enough?: Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers by Dr. Karyl McBride
I didn't get all the way through Children of the Self-Absorbed by Nina Brown. It didn't keep my interest, perhaps because it was an audiobook.
I have Why Is It Always About You? : The Seven Deadly Sins of Narcissism by Sandy Hotchkiss but haven't read it yet.
I've heard good things about Disarming the Narcissist by Wendy T. Behary
Hope that helps
The following newspaper article will tell you more about the content:
I had to spend the day with my mother fixing a problem that, of course, needed "immediate" attention, and I could see more and more how NPD traits fit her. I was absolutely chilled by how accurate the descriptions are.
Not a good thing to live with, but better that I've started looking into it now so that I'll know (or at least figure out) better coping skills.
Fireball72, it's hard dealing with a NPD. Saw my MIL recently. WOW. It is helpful when you can identify it and have a better sense of what is happening before your eyes. It's helped me not get sucked into her behavior or comments.
I grew up seriously thinking that there was something wrong with ME - that I could never do anything right or please my mother in any way. One of the most shocking things I ever read was a "list" of phrases that NPD parents tend to use, and one of those phrases listed was the EXACT SAME WORDS that my mother used with me as a child -
"Look at Sarah Bernhardt, hamming it up again!"
Now, that's a pretty specific phrase, and one that I thought was just individual to my mother - but, no. It was on the list (in a different way, but still on the list) - and I blanched. My mouth literally dropped to the FLOOR. Instant tears. Really!
To this day, the word "melodramatic" makes me trigger VERY, very hard. How can you call a four year old melodramatic?
Anyway, sorry for the threadjack. I figure that when the time comes where I need to be more hands-on involved in my mother's care... this sounds really bad, but I figure that she's dependent on me and if I've had enough of her antics, I'll just walk away and she won't get what she wants (which will force her to toe the line, so to speak). That's how I'm planning to handle it - for now. Unless I can come up with a better strategy in my readings.
I'm sorry we're all in this position.