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soconfusednow posted 12/10/2013 09:31 AM

There is a thread about a craigslist meeting gone bad. This morning I told my H about.

He said "I've never done that."(I believe him) Then he wrapped me in his arms & told me "You're safe & I Love You."

This coming from a man that:
A year ago would quickly jerk away if I tried to touch him.
Several months ago said "I wont tell you I love because I don't, but when I do you'll know I mean it."

I think we're moving forward just have to get rid of the voice that keeps asking "but is it really true?"

atsenaotie posted 12/10/2013 13:13 PM

Hi soconfusednow,

I am glad you had a good morning. What has he done in the last 5 months that is different than the first 7 months besides no longer breaking NC? What is different this time than in the 90's? Has he identified what he was looking for in the A? Has he learned and practiced how to maintain boundaries? Has he learned and practiced new coping mechanisms for stress? Has he learned to be open and honest in communication and to avoid avoiding conflict? Has he read and discussed the books Not Just Friends by Glass and/or Sexual Detours by Hines with you?

When he implements real difference, and then sustains it over time, that is when the little voice will begin to drift away.