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User Topic: You all were sooooo right .....
booger bear
♀ 26584
Member # 26584
Angry  Posted: 8:37 PM, December 10th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

FML ....... Roommate says he is moving out this weekend ..... He has paid 2mo ahead on his rent, he wants it back. I don't have $600. He is threatening court, or me paying him what I can every month till it is done. There is no lease, so I have no leg to stand on here.

I'll be the first to admit I am not the easiest person to live with, I am very moody, independent, quiet, and oh so set in my ways. Guess that was a problem, and the fact I don't communicate enough. Where the fuck have I heard that before ?!?!?(Xh told me I didn't communicate enough, one of the many reasons he gave for why) Merry fucking christmas .......

I'm not anything he is leaving, go I can't stand him anyway ...... but Grrrr....... I guess me not saying "Hey when you wash dishes use warm soapy water, Hey when you take a shit close the door when your done, Hey when you spit toothpaste, boogers, blood ect in the sink wipe it out ......" ect. things I have never thought needed explaining. Oh dog shit on the floor, clean it up, nope he leaves it, steps in it. Just fucking oblivious.

He has a ready excuse/answer for everything. I can't smell(Who's shit is odorless ?), my job keeps me to busy blah blah blah ..... He has admitted more than once tonight he does not need the money, he has 2 rentals out of state, he is an Lt in the Army, he makes money. He is just being a dick, because he can, and he knows he can. Fuck me I hate people.

I am so screwed, and I am going to be his bitch till this shit is paid off.

You all were right, and I so regret not listening to you all, and giving him the benefit of the doubt. Never again.


I am fiercely independent and I won’t apologize for it. I'd rather be single than settled.

Posts: 18828 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: OK - Hot as hell here !!!!!!
damncutekitty
♀ 5929
Member # 5929
Default  Posted: 8:43 PM, December 10th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What does it say in the lease?


Keep calm and carry on.

Posts: 49482 | Registered: Nov 2004 | From: Minneapolis
booger bear
♀ 26584
Member # 26584
Default  Posted: 8:48 PM, December 10th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

DCK there is no lease. I made a huge mistake in giving him the benefit of the doubt.

I was scarred and embarrassed to ask for a lease, I had no idea how to do that. I could make a lease, that easy. But getting it signed, was where I was hung up.

Ah the lessons just keep coming when does it end ???


I am fiercely independent and I won’t apologize for it. I'd rather be single than settled.

Posts: 18828 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: OK - Hot as hell here !!!!!!
persevere
♀ 31468
Member # 31468
Default  Posted: 8:49 PM, December 10th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think at least 30 days notice, if not 60, is pretty standard nowadays.


Me: BW-44
Him: XWH-44
Together 9 yrs
DDays: 1/10/2011
Status: Divorced 4/27/11

Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron

It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K. Rowling


Posts: 4714 | Registered: Mar 2011 | From: Texas
Lyonesse
♀ 32943
Member # 32943
Default  Posted: 9:01 PM, December 10th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think he may be the one who is out of luck if there is no lease. His payment of two months in advance gave you the impression he would be there for two more months.

If you don't have the money, he will have to be patient or take you to court. What is he going to be able to prove in court, though? He gave you money and has no legal document showing what it is for.

I'd be more concerned that he is being a dick while still living there.

I don't see what you "not being easy to live with" has anything to do with it. He wasn't a good roommate - sounds like beyond a slob to downright unhygienic. And dishonest.

Can you compromise? That you would be willing to return $300 for the 2nd month he paid ahead, but he has left you in a lurch with no notice and it is unfair to expect the full $600?


Me: BS, 40's.

Posts: 1808 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: West Coast
SisterMilkshake
♀ 30024
Member # 30024
Default  Posted: 9:04 PM, December 10th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I agree with persevere. It is standard that you give 30 to 60 days notice or you lose your rent/deposit. I know there is no lease, but that is what the "standard" is.

I would let him take me to small claims court. It will take time for that to come around. It will be somewhat of a hassle for him so he may not follow through. But, in the meantime you can be stashing away a little bit of money to be able to pay him if he wins. Don't assume he will win. You would be surprised what the judge can decide.


BW (me) 50ish FWH 50ish
Married 34 years, 3 children
d-day 3/10 LTA (4 yrs./fucking & flirting)

"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak!" ~ Homer Simpson


Posts: 10083 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: The Great White North USA
CheaterMagnet
♀ 33581
Member # 33581
Default  Posted: 9:10 PM, December 10th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Google Landlord/Tenant law for your state. You have rights even without a lease!

Personally, I would tell him to go fuck himself with a rusty chainsaw and whistle for the money! There isn't much he could do except take you to small claims court, and that would probably be more of a hassle to him than the money is worth.

But I'm just feeling really bitchy today.


If Happy Ever After did exist, I would still be holding you like this.
All those fairly tales are full of shit.
One more fucking love song I'll be sick. ~ Maroon 5

Posts: 1070 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Kailua-Kona, HI
Grace and Flowers
♀ 34431
Member # 34431
Default  Posted: 10:28 PM, December 10th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If you don't have a signed lease then it's a month-to-month tenantcy. Meaning, he has to give you 30 days notice. And if he lived there even one day, he owes for one full month. How long was he there? It doesn't appear that legally, you'd have to give him any of it back. I agree with the others. Change your locks once he's gone. If he wants the money back he can take you to small claims court. The most he MIGHT get is one month, but I doubt even that.

Seriously. Do not cave just to get rid of him. He stayed in your home, there's a fee for that. Just like for anyone else.


I'm Happy, not Sad!

Posts: 1217 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: US
LeopoldB
♂ 40606
Member # 40606
Default  Posted: 10:38 PM, December 10th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The 2 months advance rent is intended to reserve his accommodations for the next 60 days. If he chooses not to avail himself of those rental days, then his security deposit is forfeited. So far as anyone knows, you had to turn away other renters to keep this spot for him for the next 2 months. Make a modest (not at all serious) effort to rent to someone else so you can honestly say you were willing to mitigate the loss and help him out, but no one took your offer.

Posts: 212 | Registered: Sep 2013
ProbableIceCream
♂ 37468
Member # 37468
Default  Posted: 11:15 PM, December 10th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Also 30 days notice is often IN WRITING, so verbal notice may not be sufficient (but abandoning may be after a certain number of days). It depends on your state.


Me, 32. DD, 8. DS, 6 (deceased).

Posts: 852 | Registered: Nov 2012
Tearsoflove
♀ 8271
Member # 8271
Default  Posted: 11:53 PM, December 10th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Where I live, if there is no lease, the rental agreement defaults to month-to-month. Here, there is only a requirement of two weeks notice on either side with a month-to-month default agreement.


"Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand." ~Homer Simpson


Posts: 4306 | Registered: Sep 2005
Lalagirl
♀ 14576
Member # 14576
Default  Posted: 9:02 AM, December 11th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Personally, I would tell him to go fuck himself with a rusty chainsaw and whistle for the money! There isn't much he could do except take you to small claims court, and that would probably be more of a hassle to him than the money is worth

This.

((((BB)))))


Me - 49; FWH - 51
Married 31 years 9/2/14
2 grown daughters-30 & 27
5yo GS,2yo GD & 3 mo. GD (DD30) and 2.5 yo GD(DD27). D-day #1 - 1/06; D-day #2 - 3/07
Reconciled! Construction Complete.

Posts: 5173 | Registered: May 2007
jo2love
♀ 31528
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 12:56 PM, December 11th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((BB)))

Posts: 36769 | Registered: Mar 2011
movingforward13
♀ 38405
Member # 38405
Default  Posted: 2:32 PM, December 11th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

No lease means month to month so he needs to give you 30 dats notice in order to move out. You won't have to give that money back.


Once a cheater, always a cheater happens when your cheater doesn't have remorse.
Regret is not remorse- know the difference!

Posts: 645 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: DC
Helen of Troy
♀ 26419
Member # 26419
Default  Posted: 5:23 PM, December 12th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

BB~ don't be so hard on yourself ok.


As for LtJackass, logically here would he really take you to small claims court for $600? To invest time and money for court costs to collect $600?
$1000 maybe but c'mon. I'm an accounting student nerd and there's word for it: immaterial. This is immaterial. He just wants to try to bully you.


Posts: 4728 | Registered: Dec 2009
Skan
♀ 35812
Member # 35812
Default  Posted: 8:18 PM, December 13th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Tell him to blow it out of his ass. I doubt that he'll take you to small claims court and I would doubt that any judge would give him more than 1 month back at least.

And if he's being a real dick, ask him if he would like you to write to his command on a weekly basis complaining how Mr. Officer & Gentleman is trying to extort money out of you? A single woman trying to make her way alone ....


Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012



Posts: 5221 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: So California
booger bear
♀ 26584
Member # 26584
Default  Posted: 9:56 PM, December 13th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

OMG !!!!!!! I did it and it feels amazing. I found my back bone and I used it. Thanks to a push from a friend here

I stood up to him and stood my ground !!!!!!!! I did not back down, I did not fight, name call, yell ect ect ... I was calm, to the point, said few words but words of truth, and I let the silence speak for itself. I'll see how it all works out .......

How do I figure out who his commander is ??? He is an Lt. how do I do that w/o him knowing ??? If I need to, I'm not doing that yet, but if I need to, if I feel intimidated again I'd like to know. Thank you all so much. It really helped knowing I had someplace to go, some people who cared, would understand .... and be unbiased and give the good as well as the bad .... and I soooooo appreciate that. Thank you again.

I'll keep you updated as this goes along ...


I am fiercely independent and I won’t apologize for it. I'd rather be single than settled.

Posts: 18828 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: OK - Hot as hell here !!!!!!
exhausted lady
♀ 30217
Member # 30217
Default  Posted: 1:41 AM, December 14th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The 2 months advance rent is intended to reserve his accommodations for the next 60 days. If he chooses not to avail himself of those rental days, then his security deposit is forfeited. So far as anyone knows, you had to turn away other renters to keep this spot for him for the next 2 months. Make a modest (not at all serious) effort to rent to someone else so you can honestly say you were willing to mitigate the loss and help him out, but no one took your offer.

^^ This. If you don't have a signed agreement, he doesn't have a leg to stand on. So what if he fumes and fusses. Kick his ass out, and find a decent roommate that will respect a roommate situation. He sounds like a dick, and you don't need that!

Seriously, no signed paperwork = no agreement. You win.


Sometimes the hardest part of finally seeing through someone is accepting what you see...

God grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to
change the one I can, and the wisdom to know it's me.
-Reinhold Neibuhr


Posts: 3168 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: Colorado
ArkLaMiss
♀ 14918
Member # 14918
Default  Posted: 1:52 AM, December 14th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yeah and it sounds like he did lots of damage so get pictures asap, just in case! Cover yourself!


Just HOW stupid do you think I am, exactly?

Posts: 1242 | Registered: Jun 2007
booger bear
♀ 26584
Member # 26584
Default  Posted: 11:45 PM, December 14th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He is gone. He has one more load to take out tomorrow and no more.

He went from taking me to court for $600 to willing to work on $300 in payments. I said you did not give 30 days in writing so $300 is all you may get back. First I will be subtracting the prorated rent, damage and cleaning fees.

Then I said you have made it clear you do not need the money, so why are you so bent on getting your money back ??? What's the point ??? Just so you can make a point, just so you can say you were right ???

When I said he was just flexing his alpha maleness and ego ... he denied this. Saying he is not into "manly" things like football and beer ... Ummmm you can be an ego/testosterone/alpha type w/o the stereotypical stuff .... I don't think he believed me. When I told him it was true, and that he made me feel intimidated and scared he backed off. Specially when I said his tone of voice and the pacing back and forth he was doing was keeping rooted to the sofa, backed in a corner. If I had the $ then I would have just given it to him so he would leave me alone. I never felt physically threatened, but again I did not get off the sofa till he went to his room.

He agreed and apologized.

I can breathe again. Well till I think about the loss of money each month, and the fact I may have to try an swing 3 jobs. Won't that be fun ....

fml ... a little bit better thought that's why the small caps. Will see tomorrow if he still expects me to pay him what's left of the $300, if anything. I have not started cleaning/repairing anything, once I have the key back I will.

sigh ... But I have my best roommate back - myself we are great/perfect for eachother ........


I am fiercely independent and I won’t apologize for it. I'd rather be single than settled.

Posts: 18828 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: OK - Hot as hell here !!!!!!
Topic Posts: 25
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