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Newest Member: Tigress5455 (45753)

User Topic: Fork in the road....need lots of support.
hexed
♀ 19258
Member # 19258
Shutup  Posted: 1:10 AM, December 11th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm going to need lots of support in the coming weeks.

TG crossed a line tonight. There are only two options at this point. He needs professional help or this relationship is over. I hate ultimatums but we are there.

I am going to have to quietly plan an exit strategy. He won't take it well.

The pain and sadness hasn't hit me yet. I'm still in shock. When it does, please hit me with your softest 2 X 4s and great SI advice.


But that's just a lot of water
Underneath a bridge I burned
And there's no use in backtracking
Around corners I have turned

“Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future.” -foulton oursler


Posts: 8490 | Registered: Apr 2008
ThoughtIKnewYa
♀ 18449
Member # 18449
Default  Posted: 1:16 AM, December 11th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((((((((hexed)))))))))

I haven't followed your story for a while and I don't know what's going on, so I can't give any advice.

I wanted you know I'm sorry you've had this turn of events, though.


Posts: 11791 | Registered: Mar 2008
Bluebird26
♀ 36445
Member # 36445
Default  Posted: 2:44 AM, December 11th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((hexed)), sorry it has turned out this way. Please look after yourself. Remember you can't fix them. It's up to them.


"Loving someone should not mean losing you. Love empowers you. It shouldn't erase you. - Thelma Davis.

Posts: 1381 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Australia
cayc
♀ 21964
Member # 21964
Default  Posted: 6:14 AM, December 11th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

As you know, kinda sorta been going through this myself the past few months. And it's been hard. Oh so hard. I had to be really clear with my guy. And as he thrashed around in pain and tired to tell me why I was doing what I was doing, I had to be strong and say "no, only this".

I've never had to break up with someone I loved before. So I've found it feels wretched both before and after. There's no relief from doing it. NC helps not getting sucked back in. But I don't feel any better. I feel resigned because I had to do it. And I didn't want to.

(((hexed)))


"I'm not afraid of storms, for I'm learning how to sail my ship." - Louisa May Alcott

Posts: 3157 | Registered: Dec 2008 | From: Mexico
Undefinabl3
♀ 36883
Member # 36883
Default  Posted: 7:02 AM, December 11th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am old enough and wise enough to know that the Beatles were wrong. You need more then love - much more then love.

((Hexed))


Me: 31 MH
Him: 37 MH
New online find 6/19/14 - shit
Phone Find 11/21/14 - I can't even right now.

Posts: 1821 | Registered: Sep 2012
hexed
♀ 19258
Member # 19258
Default  Posted: 7:37 AM, December 11th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I love him dearly but he needs to get professional help for his pain. He's been spiraling down hill for the last several months.

He got really really drunk last night. I'm not OK with ongoing drinking issues and his have been escalating significantly in recent months.

He did a couple of things that were intentionally hurtful to me while he was drunk. I've never ever had direct his anger at me. I'm so not OK with it.

Now I have to find time and a way to say "either you start working on your shit in a healthier way or i'm out"

I'm worried about him not taking it well if I have to end it. I'm also worried about him lashing out agains me, my son or my animals.

The whole thing just took a dramatic turn last night. I'm still stunned. Unfortunately I recognize this feeling. Its the same stunned I had after DDay when I just got up and went to work b/c that's what had to be done. No thinking No feeling. I'm dreading the feeling.

I'm praying so hard he can truly hear me when we talk. I got the dreaded drunk apology last night. All I could manage to say "later, we'll talk later" I HATE the drunk apology.

FML!


But that's just a lot of water
Underneath a bridge I burned
And there's no use in backtracking
Around corners I have turned

“Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future.” -foulton oursler


Posts: 8490 | Registered: Apr 2008
hexed
♀ 19258
Member # 19258
Default  Posted: 7:39 AM, December 11th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

dammit now the tears. they need to fucking wait until tomorrow. i'm having my performance evaluated at work today. and i don't mean a 30 minute written review. someone watching me do my job for 8 hours. FML


But that's just a lot of water
Underneath a bridge I burned
And there's no use in backtracking
Around corners I have turned

“Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future.” -foulton oursler


Posts: 8490 | Registered: Apr 2008
ajsmom
♀ 17460
Member # 17460
Default  Posted: 8:19 AM, December 11th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((((hexed)))))

Oh, my friend - my heart breaks for you!

I'm so proud of you that you set a boundary and are sticking with it, regardless of the outcome. Know that there is strength and power in that!

Covering you today in prayer, especially that your evaluation day goes well.

I'm so sorry, hexed. Truly sorry for you.


AJ's MOM

ETA: Be careful of the Hoovering...

[This message edited by ajsmom at 8:23 AM, December 11th (Wednesday)]


Fidelity isn't a feeling...it's a choice.

"Truth has no special time of its own. Its hour is now - always." - Albert Schweitzer
____________________________________________
Me: BW - Him: 200+ # tumor removed 7/09
DS - 31 - Yikes!


Posts: 21104 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: Been Through Hell...On My Way Back
FaithFool
♀ 20150
Member # 20150
Default  Posted: 8:19 AM, December 11th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh shit, hexed, I'm so sorry to hear this.

You know what you need to do, it totally sucks, but if you let it slide it will not be good.

Will be thinking of you today.

((((hexed))))


DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire

Posts: 17709 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: Canada
Exit Wounds
♀ 32811
Member # 32811
Default  Posted: 8:27 AM, December 11th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((((hexed))))) you are not alone! We are right by your side, my friend. Hang in there. It's a tough time right now. I get that. BUT! YOU WILL MAKE IT! I know you will be OK on the other sied. It will all work itself out. Just be good to yourself and your kids and your pets. My thoughts and prayers are with you...

Posts: 2486 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: With my dad...and my dog...
Rainbows
♀ 39362
Member # 39362
Default  Posted: 8:31 AM, December 11th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sending you hugs and light.

Trust yourself and know you are loved and supported.


There is always a rainbow after every storm.

Posts: 415 | Registered: May 2013 | From: California
nutmegkitty
♀ 33882
Member # 33882
Default  Posted: 8:31 AM, December 11th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((hexed))


me (BS)
him (NPD Ex)
2 dds
DDay 10/7/11
OW
OC

Divorced 1/17/2013

"Diamonds aren't a girl's best friend, freedom is."


Posts: 2616 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: MA
nowiknow23
♀ 33226
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 8:32 AM, December 11th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((((hexed))))) Sending you strength, hexed.


You can call me NIK

"Keep your face always toward the sunshine - and shadows will fall behind you."
-Walt Whitman


Posts: 26198 | Registered: Aug 2011
Spirit13
♀ 31758
Member # 31758
Default  Posted: 8:57 AM, December 11th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((hexed))

I'm so sorry! All I can say is that you have to stay strong and stand up for yourself. I know you know this... as hard as it is to to. Dealing with the alcoholic behavior just sucks so much especially when you just divorced to get away from it.

Stand your ground. We are here for you!


Men were deceivers ever; one foot in sea and one on shore, to one thing constant never.

Posts: 620 | Registered: Apr 2011 | From: Midwest
Weatherly
♀ 18222
Member # 18222
Default  Posted: 9:53 AM, December 11th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Well, crap.


(((((((Hexed))))))))


Me-29,Two boys, 10 and 9

It will all be ok in the end. If it's not ok, it's not the end

Happily remarried to a wonderful man (Aussie). I think I found the right guy and the right finger this time.


Posts: 4502 | Registered: Feb 2008 | From: Indiana
itainteasy
♀ 31094
Member # 31094
Default  Posted: 10:07 AM, December 11th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thinking of you, hexed.

Posts: 3425 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: NWPA
little turtle
♀ 15584
Member # 15584
Default  Posted: 10:17 AM, December 11th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((hexed))))

I'm so proud of you for standing up for yourself. I'm so sad that you had to do this. I hope he's willing to do whatever it takes to keep you in his life.


Failure is success if we learn from it.

Posts: 4224 | Registered: Aug 2007 | From: michigan
thebighurt
♀ 34722
Member # 34722
Default  Posted: 10:42 AM, December 11th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((Hexed))))


Finding what life could have been....... Why didn't I see it?

Posts: 2476 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: the Other Side
better4me
♀ 30341
Member # 30341
Default  Posted: 11:52 AM, December 11th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((hexed)))

Courage dear Hexy, sending you courage and strength.


DDay 11/17/2010 BW:53
Divorced

Posts: 3236 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Iowa
veelop5
♀ 11089
Member # 11089
Default  Posted: 12:11 PM, December 11th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So sorry to hear this...you have always given me words of encouragement and I want you to know that I will be thinking of you...Which ever way this turns out you know that you will be ok!! We are strong hexed ((((hugs))))


ME-40
XH-DOESN'T MATTER ANYMORE
3 beautiful boys (21,20 & 17)
Update: Moved in to my own apartment 8/7/2012
10/27/2014-Met a wonderful man 9months ago
Divorce final 3/27/2013

Posts: 1098 | Registered: Jun 2006 | From: Pennsylvania
Topic Posts: 48
Pages: 1 · 2 · 3

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