SurvivingInfidelity.com Forum Archives

hexed posted 12/11/2013 01:10 AM

I'm going to need lots of support in the coming weeks.

TG crossed a line tonight. There are only two options at this point. He needs professional help or this relationship is over. I hate ultimatums but we are there.

I am going to have to quietly plan an exit strategy. He won't take it well.

The pain and sadness hasn't hit me yet. I'm still in shock. When it does, please hit me with your softest 2 X 4s and great SI advice.

ThoughtIKnewYa posted 12/11/2013 01:16 AM

(((((((((hexed)))))))))

I haven't followed your story for a while and I don't know what's going on, so I can't give any advice.

I wanted you know I'm sorry you've had this turn of events, though.

Bluebird26 posted 12/11/2013 02:44 AM

((hexed)), sorry it has turned out this way. Please look after yourself. Remember you can't fix them. It's up to them.

cayc posted 12/11/2013 06:14 AM

As you know, kinda sorta been going through this myself the past few months. And it's been hard. Oh so hard. I had to be really clear with my guy. And as he thrashed around in pain and tired to tell me why I was doing what I was doing, I had to be strong and say "no, only this".

I've never had to break up with someone I loved before. So I've found it feels wretched both before and after. There's no relief from doing it. NC helps not getting sucked back in. But I don't feel any better. I feel resigned because I had to do it. And I didn't want to.

(((hexed)))

Undefinabl3 posted 12/11/2013 07:02 AM

I am old enough and wise enough to know that the Beatles were wrong. You need more then love - much more then love.

((Hexed))

hexed posted 12/11/2013 07:37 AM

I love him dearly but he needs to get professional help for his pain. He's been spiraling down hill for the last several months.

He got really really drunk last night. I'm not OK with ongoing drinking issues and his have been escalating significantly in recent months.

He did a couple of things that were intentionally hurtful to me while he was drunk. I've never ever had direct his anger at me. I'm so not OK with it.

Now I have to find time and a way to say "either you start working on your shit in a healthier way or i'm out"

I'm worried about him not taking it well if I have to end it. I'm also worried about him lashing out agains me, my son or my animals.

The whole thing just took a dramatic turn last night. I'm still stunned. Unfortunately I recognize this feeling. Its the same stunned I had after DDay when I just got up and went to work b/c that's what had to be done. No thinking No feeling. I'm dreading the feeling.

I'm praying so hard he can truly hear me when we talk. I got the dreaded drunk apology last night. All I could manage to say "later, we'll talk later" I HATE the drunk apology.

FML!

hexed posted 12/11/2013 07:39 AM

dammit now the tears. they need to fucking wait until tomorrow. i'm having my performance evaluated at work today. and i don't mean a 30 minute written review. someone watching me do my job for 8 hours. FML

ajsmom posted 12/11/2013 08:19 AM

(((((hexed)))))

Oh, my friend - my heart breaks for you!

I'm so proud of you that you set a boundary and are sticking with it, regardless of the outcome. Know that there is strength and power in that!

Covering you today in prayer, especially that your evaluation day goes well.

I'm so sorry, hexed. Truly sorry for you.

AJ's MOM

ETA: Be careful of the Hoovering...

[This message edited by ajsmom at 8:23 AM, December 11th (Wednesday)]

FaithFool posted 12/11/2013 08:19 AM

Oh shit, hexed, I'm so sorry to hear this.

You know what you need to do, it totally sucks, but if you let it slide it will not be good.

Will be thinking of you today.

((((hexed))))

Exit Wounds posted 12/11/2013 08:27 AM

(((((hexed))))) you are not alone! We are right by your side, my friend. Hang in there. It's a tough time right now. I get that. BUT! YOU WILL MAKE IT! I know you will be OK on the other sied. It will all work itself out. Just be good to yourself and your kids and your pets. My thoughts and prayers are with you...

Rainbows posted 12/11/2013 08:31 AM

Sending you hugs and light.

Trust yourself and know you are loved and supported.

nutmegkitty posted 12/11/2013 08:31 AM

((hexed))

nowiknow23 posted 12/11/2013 08:32 AM

(((((hexed))))) Sending you strength, hexed.

Spirit13 posted 12/11/2013 08:57 AM

((hexed))

I'm so sorry! All I can say is that you have to stay strong and stand up for yourself. I know you know this... as hard as it is to to. Dealing with the alcoholic behavior just sucks so much especially when you just divorced to get away from it.

Stand your ground. We are here for you!

Weatherly posted 12/11/2013 09:53 AM

Well, crap.

(((((((Hexed))))))))

itainteasy posted 12/11/2013 10:07 AM

Thinking of you, hexed.

little turtle posted 12/11/2013 10:17 AM

((((hexed))))

I'm so proud of you for standing up for yourself. I'm so sad that you had to do this. I hope he's willing to do whatever it takes to keep you in his life.

thebighurt posted 12/11/2013 10:42 AM

((((Hexed))))

better4me posted 12/11/2013 11:52 AM

(((hexed)))

Courage dear Hexy, sending you courage and strength.

veelop5 posted 12/11/2013 12:11 PM

So sorry to hear this...you have always given me words of encouragement and I want you to know that I will be thinking of you...Which ever way this turns out you know that you will be ok!! We are strong hexed ((((hugs))))