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hexed (original poster member #19258) posted at 7:10 AM on Wednesday, December 11th, 2013
I'm going to need lots of support in the coming weeks.
TG crossed a line tonight. There are only two options at this point. He needs professional help or this relationship is over. I hate ultimatums but we are there.
I am going to have to quietly plan an exit strategy. He won't take it well.
The pain and sadness hasn't hit me yet. I'm still in shock. When it does, please hit me with your softest 2 X 4s and great SI advice.
But that's just a lot of water
Underneath a bridge I burned
And there's no use in backtracking
Around corners I have turned
“Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future.” -foulton oursler
ThoughtIKnewYa ( member #18449) posted at 7:16 AM on Wednesday, December 11th, 2013
(((((((((hexed)))))))))
I haven't followed your story for a while and I don't know what's going on, so I can't give any advice.
I wanted you know I'm sorry you've had this turn of events, though.
Bluebird26 ( member #36445) posted at 8:44 AM on Wednesday, December 11th, 2013
((hexed)), sorry it has turned out this way. Please look after yourself. Remember you can't fix them. It's up to them.
Me: BW
Best thing I gained in my divorce - my freedom.
Life's good.
cayc ( member #21964) posted at 12:14 PM on Wednesday, December 11th, 2013
As you know, kinda sorta been going through this myself the past few months. And it's been hard. Oh so hard. I had to be really clear with my guy. And as he thrashed around in pain and tired to tell me why I was doing what I was doing, I had to be strong and say "no, only this".
I've never had to break up with someone I loved before. So I've found it feels wretched both before and after. There's no relief from doing it. NC helps not getting sucked back in. But I don't feel any better. I feel resigned because I had to do it. And I didn't want to.
(((hexed)))
Undefinabl3 ( member #36883) posted at 1:02 PM on Wednesday, December 11th, 2013
I am old enough and wise enough to know that the Beatles were wrong. You need more then love - much more then love.
((Hexed))
Me: 35 MH
Him: 41 MH
New online find 6/19/14 - shit
Phone Find 11/21/14 - I can't even right now.
1/26/15 - Started IC for me, DH won't go.
1/10/18 - Again?!? Online EA's
hexed (original poster member #19258) posted at 1:37 PM on Wednesday, December 11th, 2013
I love him dearly but he needs to get professional help for his pain. He's been spiraling down hill for the last several months.
He got really really drunk last night. I'm not OK with ongoing drinking issues and his have been escalating significantly in recent months.
He did a couple of things that were intentionally hurtful to me while he was drunk. I've never ever had direct his anger at me. I'm so not OK with it.
Now I have to find time and a way to say "either you start working on your shit in a healthier way or i'm out"
I'm worried about him not taking it well if I have to end it. I'm also worried about him lashing out agains me, my son or my animals.
The whole thing just took a dramatic turn last night. I'm still stunned. Unfortunately I recognize this feeling. Its the same stunned I had after DDay when I just got up and went to work b/c that's what had to be done. No thinking No feeling. I'm dreading the feeling.
I'm praying so hard he can truly hear me when we talk. I got the dreaded drunk apology last night. All I could manage to say "later, we'll talk later" I HATE the drunk apology.
FML!
But that's just a lot of water
Underneath a bridge I burned
And there's no use in backtracking
Around corners I have turned
“Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future.” -foulton oursler
hexed (original poster member #19258) posted at 1:39 PM on Wednesday, December 11th, 2013
dammit now the tears. they need to fucking wait until tomorrow. i'm having my performance evaluated at work today. and i don't mean a 30 minute written review. someone watching me do my job for 8 hours. FML
But that's just a lot of water
Underneath a bridge I burned
And there's no use in backtracking
Around corners I have turned
“Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future.” -foulton oursler
ajsmom ( member #17460) posted at 2:19 PM on Wednesday, December 11th, 2013
(((((hexed)))))
Oh, my friend - my heart breaks for you!
I'm so proud of you that you set a boundary and are sticking with it, regardless of the outcome. Know that there is strength and power in that!
Covering you today in prayer, especially that your evaluation day goes well.
I'm so sorry, hexed. Truly sorry for you.
AJ's MOM
ETA: Be careful of the Hoovering...
[This message edited by ajsmom at 8:23 AM, December 11th (Wednesday)]
Fidelity isn't a feeling...it's a choice.
"Truth has no special time of its own. Its hour is now - always." - Albert Schweitzer
____________________________________________
Me: BW - Him: 200+ # tumor removed 7/09
One AMAZING DS - 34
FaithFool ( member #20150) posted at 2:19 PM on Wednesday, December 11th, 2013
Oh shit, hexed, I'm so sorry to hear this.
You know what you need to do, it totally sucks, but if you let it slide it will not be good.
Will be thinking of you today.
((((hexed))))
DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire
Exit Wounds ( member #32811) posted at 2:27 PM on Wednesday, December 11th, 2013
(((((hexed))))) you are not alone! We are right by your side, my friend. Hang in there. It's a tough time right now. I get that. BUT! YOU WILL MAKE IT! I know you will be OK on the other sied. It will all work itself out. Just be good to yourself and your kids and your pets. My thoughts and prayers are with you...
Exit WoundsH of 17 years got gf pregnant, left our kids 9 & 11 and we never saw him again. -His choice.
Rainbows ( member #39362) posted at 2:31 PM on Wednesday, December 11th, 2013
Sending you hugs and light.
Trust yourself and know you are loved and supported.
There is always a rainbow after every storm.
nutmegkitty ( member #33882) posted at 2:31 PM on Wednesday, December 11th, 2013
Me - happy!
2 DDs
Very happily divorced from an NPD since 2013.
nowiknow23 ( member #33226) posted at 2:32 PM on Wednesday, December 11th, 2013
(((((hexed))))) Sending you strength, hexed.
You can call me NIK
And never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.
― Sarah McMane
Spirit13 ( member #31758) posted at 2:57 PM on Wednesday, December 11th, 2013
((hexed))
I'm so sorry! All I can say is that you have to stay strong and stand up for yourself. I know you know this... as hard as it is to to. Dealing with the alcoholic behavior just sucks so much especially when you just divorced to get away from it.
Stand your ground. We are here for you!
Men were deceivers ever; one foot in sea and one on shore, to one thing constant never.
Weatherly ( member #18222) posted at 3:53 PM on Wednesday, December 11th, 2013
Well, crap.
(((((((Hexed))))))))
Me-33 ,Two boys, 13 and 14
It will all be ok in the end. If it's not ok, it's not the end
Happily remarried to a wonderful man (Aussie). I think I found the right guy and the right finger this time.
itainteasy ( member #31094) posted at 4:07 PM on Wednesday, December 11th, 2013
Thinking of you, hexed.
little turtle ( member #15584) posted at 4:17 PM on Wednesday, December 11th, 2013
((((hexed))))
I'm so proud of you for standing up for yourself. I'm so sad that you had to do this. I hope he's willing to do whatever it takes to keep you in his life.
Failure is success if we learn from it.
thebighurt ( member #34722) posted at 4:42 PM on Wednesday, December 11th, 2013
Finding what life could have been....... Why didn't I see it?
better4me ( member #30341) posted at 5:52 PM on Wednesday, December 11th, 2013
(((hexed)))
Courage dear Hexy, sending you courage and strength.
DDay 11/17/2010 BW:58
Happily remarried!
veelop5 ( member #11089) posted at 6:11 PM on Wednesday, December 11th, 2013
So sorry to hear this...you have always given me words of encouragement and I want you to know that I will be thinking of you...Which ever way this turns out you know that you will be ok!! We are strong hexed ((((hugs))))
ME-40
XH-DOESN'T MATTER ANYMORE
3 beautiful boys (21,20 & 17)
Update: Moved in to my own apartment 8/7/2012
10/27/2014-Met a wonderful man 9months ago
Divorce final 3/27/2013
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