They still work together, yes after all of this time and we are also in a situation where he can't find another job - we have looked, believe me. And I have looked for a job to make up the difference so that if he'd have to take a paycut we'd be ok. So far nothing has moved in that department for either of us, but we havenít given up.
FWH keeps strict boundaries when their work overlaps. A couple of months after DDay OW transferred to a station halfway across the state, so she was a non-entity during that time. Then she contacted FWH during a bid process last year (where they get moved around, based on seniority). OW emailed him over company email Ė which has been her primary mode of fishing post DDay, although I do have access to FWHís email and he forwards anything she sends and at that time he had maintained NC for 3 years. The reason for contact was because OW didnít think it would be a good idea for them to ďaccidentallyĒ end up as partners again, so she wanted FWH to text her where he ended up. With my permission he emailed her and gave his top 3. She replied twice within 30 mins with some attempts at pleasantries and asked that FWH still text her where he ended up. After we argued back and forth for a good week, FWH asked his then partner to text OW the day of the bids and hoped that would be the end of it. Well of course as I predicted, OW ended up at his station on a different shift. Coincidence? Yeah, right. Then she picked up overtime to work with FWH, but as far as I know he avoided her at all costs and she stopped doing it after 3 attempts. Plus around that time I started blocking her # since in a previous fishing attempt she'd said her BH had blocked FWH. Well with her asking FWH to text her in her emails it didnít seem like OWBH was being as diligent as before, so I decided to block her and when I told FWH a couple of months later he didn't bat an eye and said he was fine with it.
OW's BH#3 (and her FAP w/ BH#2) now works with their company part-time and just a few months ago ran into FWH on the job and shook his hand. Idk what that is about other than I am fairly certain OW did damage control and BH doesn't believe it was PA, like I had told him. Because even FWH admitted that would not be his response to a similar situation. Whatever.
Latest development and why I am dredging all of this up is that they did another bid process. FWH was promoted to management earlier this year and at that level only the CEO moves them. So, he is stuck at his current location unless his boss gets a wild hair up his butt and wants to shake things up. But he just found out a few weeks ago that OW followed her current partner and bid to be FWHís direct report. They all move around in January. So, now I am going to have to unblock OW and start monitoring all communication again because it is likely that her # will be showing up on my bill again. FWH says he will hand his phone to me at the end of every shift and anytime OW texts, but Iíll seriously feel like itís 4 years ago and I am at DDay +1 day. We have discussed at length what FWH is going to need to do in order to both be OW's supervisor and still protect the boundaries of our M. He's actually really depressed and is considering quitting his job in January. If it didnít mean living on the street, I would be all for it.
But really my bigger issue is WHY is she still doing this? Itís been 4 years and as far as I can tell, FWH has maintained NC and he has pretty much been a textbook Ríing WH. OW has never really honored his NC requests, fishing every so often but except for the 2 times about the bidding, he has maintained NC. So while Iím not that surprised by this latest move, it is concerning. When the PA exploded all over my life, OW wanted to go underground and FWH told her no Ė because he didnít want to be the OM. Yeah, itís really difficult not to laugh at that. So, OW responded to that rejection by pretending to be pregnant for 3 weeks which is a special kind of hell for an infertile BW with 3 miscarriages under her belt. OW used that as an in to keep texting FWH about stupid things to keep things going despite repeated requests for NC by him. When her BH finally blocked FWH from her phone, OW sent an email through work which was ignored. Idk why I am writing Ė Iím just frustrated that as much as things have changed, as much as this whole situation has altered my existence, and as much as I have fought to stay sane and R with FWH, OW is always there lurking in the background. I wish that he could find another job. And you know if weíre talking about wishes, I wish that I had a 100% faithful H. But thatís no longer my reality and honestly thank God that Iím in IC. I just donít know how Iím going to survive come January because I know that OW will try to blur those lines between co-workers and friends. I really do hate this. All of it.
[This message edited by Thera77 at 4:01 AM, December 12th (Thursday)]