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Time for a song parody fest

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lynnm1947 posted 12/12/2013 08:15 AM

Hey, a few years ago, we did an SI song parody thread at Christmas. We have loads of new members, and it is less than two weeks to December 25, so.....time for another, perhaps?

Here are the rules:

1) Must be an infidelity rant of the first order
2) Must parody an actual Christmas song
3) Actually, there are only two.

Sung to the tune of "Let it Snow"

Oh the weather outside is frightful
And our day has been so fight full,
So since he's a huge assho'
Let hm go, let him go, let him go.

painpaingoaway posted 12/12/2013 08:17 AM

Yay! Okay, let me dig out some of my oldies but goodies...

painpaingoaway posted 12/12/2013 08:20 AM

Sung to the tune of Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer:

Skankho the brown-nosed 2-legged dear,
Had a very stanky nose,
And if you ever saw her,
You would know for sure she's a ho,

All of the betrayed BS's,
laugh as they call her name,
They'll never let poor WS's,
Join any more 2-legged dear games.

Then one foggy Karma's eve,
karma came to say,
Skank-ho with your nose so brown,
Sorry but your skanky self is going down.

Then all the BS's loved it,
As they shouted out with glee,
All the skank-ho's in the world beware now,
You'll live a life of misery!

painpaingoaway posted 12/12/2013 08:23 AM

And, my favorite, sung to the tune of Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire

H's nuts roasting like they're over an open fire,
Wishing he'd never dipped his dick in a Ho,
Letting his common sense be ruled by desire,
For wicked sluts dressed up like ho's.

WS is a turkey that fucks ho's,
Helps to make the season not so bright,
While his balls burn like Hell all aglow
Will find it hard to sleep tonight.

He knows that Karma's on it's way,
Loaded with lots of hell and misery on D-day,
And every cheating mother-fucker is gonna cry,
When his spouse leaves without even a goodbye.

And so I'm offering this simple phrase,
For WS's from one to ninety-two,
Although it's been said many times many ways,
Burn in hell forever and a big FUCK YOU!

lynnm1947 posted 12/12/2013 08:23 AM

Good one, Pain.

painpaingoaway posted 12/12/2013 08:25 AM

I know I have more, but I have to find them...

lynnm1947 posted 12/12/2013 08:27 AM

Yeah, I had a file, too, but I can't locate it. Been a while.

No12turn2 posted 12/12/2013 08:29 AM

I'm dreaming of a white Ex-mas
Just want my wife to get up and go
Where Iím free to glisten
And my children no longer listen
To hear mean words from that ho

No12turn2 posted 12/12/2013 08:36 AM

Joy to the world! Divorce has come
Let me receive some peace!
Let her cheating heart prepare for doom
And heaven and nature sing
And heaven and nature sing
And heaven, and heaven and nature sing

Joy to the world! The whore is gone
Let men their songs employ
While fields and floods
Rocks, hills and plains
Repeat the sounding joy
Repeat the sounding joy
Repeat, repeat the sounding joy

painpaingoaway posted 12/12/2013 08:39 AM

Excellent No12! LOL! Feels good to get it out doesn't it?

lynnm1947 posted 12/12/2013 08:43 AM

Bravo, no12turn2!!! Well done

steadfast1973 posted 12/12/2013 08:50 AM

In the meadow, we can meet a hooker,
And forget my wife and kids are around,
She'll say are you married, I'lll say yes, ma'am,
But this should do the trick to tear it down.

Later on, we'll conspire, and we'll fuck,
I'll be a liar.
It's just for one night
but, oh Tomorrow we'll fight
Slipping into a foggy cheatermind.

[This message edited by steadfast1973 at 9:15 AM, December 12th (Thursday)]

No12turn2 posted 12/12/2013 08:58 AM

This one is my Fav!

Frosty the Ice Queen was an unremorseful ho
With her corn hole piped and a button nose
and her heart was made of coal
Frosty the Ice Queen is a fairy tale they say
Said she wouldnít go but the children
know how she ruined our lives that day
There must have been some magic in that
jimmy hat they found
For when they placed it on his head
They began to fool around
Frosty the Ice Queen
was alive as she could be
And she justified all the hurt and lies
while she blamed that shit on me
Thumpity thump thump
thumpity thump thump
Look at Ice Queen go
Thumpity thump thump
thumpity thump thump
Out of the house you ho
Frosty the Ice Queen knew
that I was hot that day
So she said
"Iíll run and
I'll have some fun
and your heart will melt away
" Down to the village
with her ring not on her hand
Running here and there all
around the square saying
Catch me if you can
She ran around the streets of town
looking for some cock
And he only paused a moment when
She heard me holler "Stop!"
For Frosty the Ice Queen
had to hurry on her way
But she waved goodbye saying
"Don't you cry
I'll regret this all some day
" thumpity thump thump
thumpity thump thump
Look at Frosty go
thumpity thump thump
thumpity thump thump
Out of the house you ho

BrokenMomof2 posted 12/12/2013 09:16 AM

Lol! These definitely gave me a good laugh, and I really needed it this morning.

SisterMilkshake posted 12/12/2013 09:22 AM

This is kind of an easy one as I didn't have to change a lot of the words as they are perfect in describing most AP's just as is. I consider this a Christmas song because it is a tradition at our house to watch "The Grinch Who Stole Christmas" every year.

My rendition of the Mr. Grinch song is as follows:

You're a mean one, Ms. Wench
You really are a heel,
You're as cuddly as a cactus, you're as charming as an eel, Ms. Wench,
You're a bad banana with a greasy black peel!

You're a monster, Ms. Wench,
Your heart's an empty hole,
Your crotch is full of spiders, you have harlot in your soul, Ms. Wench,
Why would anyone touch you without a thirty-nine-and-a-half foot pole!

You're a foul one, Ms. Wench,
You have termites in your smile,
You have all the tender sweetness of a seasick crocodile, Ms. Wench,
Given a choice between the two of you I'ld take the seasick crocodile!

You're a rotter, Ms. Wench,
You're the queen of sinful sluts,
Your heart's a dead tomato splotched with moldy purple ruts, Ms. Wench,
You're a three decker sauerkraut and toadstool sandwich with arsenic sauce!

You nauseate me, Ms. Wench,
With a nauseous super "naus"!,
You're a wicked dirty yucky and you thrive on fucking boss, Ms. Wench,
Your soul is an appalling dump heap overflowing with the most disgraceful
assortment of rubbish imaginable mangled up in tangled up knots!

You're a foul one, Ms. Wench,
You're a nasty wasty wank,
Your mouth is full of unwashed cocks, your soul is full of dank, Ms. Wench,
The three words that best describe you are as follows, and I quote,
"Stink, stank, skank"!

[This message edited by SisterMilkshake at 9:29 AM, December 12th (Thursday)]

SisterMilkshake posted 12/12/2013 09:27 AM

Hilarious, No12turn2. Always enjoy yours ppga. Very good, steadfast and lynnm.

lynnm1947 posted 12/12/2013 09:32 AM

We aim to please! Rats! I can't find my file.

Baby, your clothesíre outside.
Baby, theyíre frozen outside.
I chucked them in those garbage bags.
You spent the evening with that ho-man
You didnít care that we were alone.
So you can turn around and go, man,
And call her on your secret cell phone.

You really can't stay
so baby, it's cold outside.

HFSSC posted 12/12/2013 09:45 AM

This was my submission in 2011. Enjoy!

Away with a stranger
A car for a bed.
My husband f*ed somebody
Else intead.
He loves me, he means it
But why oh why?
Is my radar pinging
With all of his lies?

The cow-skank is lowing
The poor baby wakes.
And my wayward husband
Keeps making "mistakes".
He's sorry, he means it
He'll tell her goodbye.
And stay with me only
Till judgment is nigh.

lynnm1947 posted 12/12/2013 10:20 AM

Have yourself a merry little fuckfest.
Iíve just let you go.
From now on, youíre living with your ugly ho.
Have yourself a jolly little fuckfest.
Break your marriage vows.
From now on, youíre gonna have to face some rows.

Have yourself a merry little fuckfest.
Iíll divorce your butt.
From now on, youíre trailer living with that slut.
Have yourself a jolly little fuckfest.
Gonna get the house.
From now on, you will be very poor, you louse!

Here we are, not like olden days, happy family days before.
This year, you wonít be living here. Youíve been with your whore.

SoÖ off you go, go on now, Mr. Dickhead.
What the hellójust git!
Youíre homeless? Well, I really just donít give a shit!
Iíll have myself a merry little Christmas now.

painpaingoaway posted 12/12/2013 11:58 AM


And steadfast, yours is short but AWESOME!

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