SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Hey, a few years ago, we did an SI song parody thread at Christmas. We have loads of new members, and it is less than two weeks to December 25, so.....time for another, perhaps?

Here are the rules:

1) Must be an infidelity rant of the first order

2) Must parody an actual Christmas song

3) Actually, there are only two.

Sung to the tune of "Let it Snow"

Oh the weather outside is frightful

And our day has been so fight full,

So since he's a huge assho'

Let hm go, let him go, let him go.

Yay! Okay, let me dig out some of my oldies but goodies...

Sung to the tune of Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer:

Skankho the brown-nosed 2-legged dear,

Had a very stanky nose,

And if you ever saw her,

You would know for sure she's a ho,

All of the betrayed BS's,

laugh as they call her name,

They'll never let poor WS's,

Join any more 2-legged dear games.

Then one foggy Karma's eve,

karma came to say,

Skank-ho with your nose so brown,

Sorry but your skanky self is going down.

Then all the BS's loved it,

As they shouted out with glee,

All the skank-ho's in the world beware now,

You'll live a life of misery!

And, my favorite, sung to the tune of Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire

H's nuts roasting like they're over an open fire,

Wishing he'd never dipped his dick in a Ho,

Letting his common sense be ruled by desire,

For wicked sluts dressed up like ho's.

WS is a turkey that fucks ho's,

Helps to make the season not so bright,

While his balls burn like Hell all aglow

Will find it hard to sleep tonight.

He knows that Karma's on it's way,

Loaded with lots of hell and misery on D-day,

And every cheating mother-fucker is gonna cry,

When his spouse leaves without even a goodbye.

And so I'm offering this simple phrase,

For WS's from one to ninety-two,

Although it's been said many times many ways,

Burn in hell forever and a big FUCK YOU!

Good one, Pain.

I know I have more, but I have to find them...

Yeah, I had a file, too, but I can't locate it. Been a while.

I'm dreaming of a white Ex-mas

Just want my wife to get up and go

Where I’m free to glisten

And my children no longer listen

To hear mean words from that ho

Joy to the world! Divorce has come

Let me receive some peace!

Let her cheating heart prepare for doom

And heaven and nature sing

And heaven and nature sing

And heaven, and heaven and nature sing

Joy to the world! The whore is gone

Let men their songs employ

While fields and floods

Rocks, hills and plains

Repeat the sounding joy

Repeat the sounding joy

Repeat, repeat the sounding joy

Excellent No12! LOL! Feels good to get it out doesn't it?

Bravo, no12turn2!!! Well done

In the meadow, we can meet a hooker,

And forget my wife and kids are around,

She'll say are you married, I'lll say yes, ma'am,

But this should do the trick to tear it down.

Later on, we'll conspire, and we'll fuck,

I'll be a liar.

It's just for one night

but, oh Tomorrow we'll fight

Slipping into a foggy cheatermind.

[This message edited by steadfast1973 at 9:15 AM, December 12th (Thursday)]

This one is my Fav!

Frosty the Ice Queen was an unremorseful ho

With her corn hole piped and a button nose

and her heart was made of coal

Frosty the Ice Queen is a fairy tale they say

Said she wouldn’t go but the children

know how she ruined our lives that day

There must have been some magic in that

jimmy hat they found

For when they placed it on his head

They began to fool around

O

Frosty the Ice Queen

was alive as she could be

And she justified all the hurt and lies

while she blamed that shit on me

Thumpity thump thump

thumpity thump thump

Look at Ice Queen go

Thumpity thump thump

thumpity thump thump

Out of the house you ho

Frosty the Ice Queen knew

that I was hot that day

So she said

"I’ll run and

I'll have some fun

and your heart will melt away

" Down to the village

with her ring not on her hand

Running here and there all

around the square saying

Catch me if you can

She ran around the streets of town

looking for some cock

And he only paused a moment when

She heard me holler "Stop!"

For Frosty the Ice Queen

had to hurry on her way

But she waved goodbye saying

"Don't you cry

I'll regret this all some day

" thumpity thump thump

thumpity thump thump

Look at Frosty go

thumpity thump thump

thumpity thump thump

Out of the house you ho

Lol! These definitely gave me a good laugh, and I really needed it this morning.

This is kind of an easy one as I didn't have to change a lot of the words as they are perfect in describing most AP's just as is. I consider this a Christmas song because it is a tradition at our house to watch "The Grinch Who Stole Christmas" every year.

My rendition of the Mr. Grinch song is as follows:

You're a mean one, Ms. Wench

You really are a heel,

You're as cuddly as a cactus, you're as charming as an eel, Ms. Wench,

You're a bad banana with a greasy black peel!

You're a monster, Ms. Wench,

Your heart's an empty hole,

Your crotch is full of spiders, you have harlot in your soul, Ms. Wench,

Why would anyone touch you without a thirty-nine-and-a-half foot pole!

You're a foul one, Ms. Wench,

You have termites in your smile,

You have all the tender sweetness of a seasick crocodile, Ms. Wench,

Given a choice between the two of you I'ld take the seasick crocodile!

You're a rotter, Ms. Wench,

You're the queen of sinful sluts,

Your heart's a dead tomato splotched with moldy purple ruts, Ms. Wench,

You're a three decker sauerkraut and toadstool sandwich with arsenic sauce!

You nauseate me, Ms. Wench,

With a nauseous super "naus"!,

You're a wicked dirty yucky and you thrive on fucking boss, Ms. Wench,

Your soul is an appalling dump heap overflowing with the most disgraceful

assortment of rubbish imaginable mangled up in tangled up knots!

You're a foul one, Ms. Wench,

You're a nasty wasty wank,

Your mouth is full of unwashed cocks, your soul is full of dank, Ms. Wench,

The three words that best describe you are as follows, and I quote,

"Stink, stank, skank"!

[This message edited by SisterMilkshake at 9:29 AM, December 12th (Thursday)]

Hilarious, No12turn2. Always enjoy yours ppga. Very good, steadfast and lynnm.

We aim to please! Rats! I can't find my file.

Baby, your clothes’re outside.

Baby, they’re frozen outside.

I chucked them in those garbage bags.

You spent the evening with that ho-man

You didn’t care that we were alone.

So you can turn around and go, man,

And call her on your secret cell phone.

You really can't stay

so baby, it's cold outside.

This was my submission in 2011. Enjoy!

Away with a stranger

A car for a bed.

My husband f*ed somebody

Else intead.

He loves me, he means it

But why oh why?

Is my radar pinging

With all of his lies?

The cow-skank is lowing

The poor baby wakes.

And my wayward husband

Keeps making "mistakes".

He's sorry, he means it

He'll tell her goodbye.

And stay with me only

Till judgment is nigh.

Have yourself a merry little fuckfest.

I’ve just let you go.

From now on, you’re living with your ugly ho.

Have yourself a jolly little fuckfest.

Break your marriage vows.

From now on, you’re gonna have to face some rows.

Have yourself a merry little fuckfest.

I’ll divorce your butt.

From now on, you’re trailer living with that slut.

Have yourself a jolly little fuckfest.

Gonna get the house.

From now on, you will be very poor, you louse!

Here we are, not like olden days, happy family days before.

This year, you won’t be living here. You’ve been with your whore.

So… off you go, go on now, Mr. Dickhead.

What the hell—just git!

You’re homeless? Well, I really just don’t give a shit!

I’ll have myself a merry little Christmas now.

Epic!

And steadfast, yours is short but AWESOME!