I have once again found out that the x has been hit by the Karma cronies. He is late on his house payments with creditors calling every number they think he may have an association with and the IRS is STILL after him. I was also told that one of his "pals" thinks the x has lost it, that he is getting really weird.
Although my focus is no longer to find joy in his bad Karma, I do find that once in a while I enjoy knowing that his life is a bucket of cold poop. More so, I feel sorry for him. He has nothing and sadly, he is nothing. After he left he thought he was going to a grander, bigger, better life. His whore has done nothing for him except turn his life into a ginormous nightmare. He looks absolutely terrible, has gained weight beyond recognition and has turned completely gray. He is still lying and telling tall tales and lives in a world where he thinks he is the reining king.
I have tried my hardest to be the best mom I can and make sure that the little brokens have what they need, and give them a little of what they want without breaking the bank. Although money has been tight, I have never been late on a payment, my little brokens are fed, clothed and basically happy. Both of them have good grades and are doing well emotionally and socially. In all of this I find great delight!
I have done a ton of work on the house and it no longer looks like a hobo habitat. My friends say that it looks like a completely different home.
I have also done work on my self. I am eating a lot better and have lost over 40 pounds. I am in therapy and I was amazed at how much negativity I had flowing around in my head. I was led to believe that I was a "crazy" person when indeed I have learned that I was told this so that he could somehow "justify" all the crap he was doing.
Some time ago, I was fortunate to experience butterflies in my stomach again. WOW!!! There is a lot to be said for that first kiss after the infidelity trauma is finally over! I NEVER, EVER thought I would feel that again.
Not sure why I needed to post this. My hope is that someone not so far in their healing will read this and find hope. Throughout this entire process, I kept my dignity. I refused to do things that would make me feel even worse than I already did from the infidelity fallout. I clung on to the last shreds of hope that I still had and I never let that go. Stay true to yourself, never give up and ALWAYS listen to that little voice inside yourself. You WILL make it.