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Newest Member: Starrystarrynight

Reconciliation :
Attempted contact again after a year..

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 Almost12Years (original poster member #34861) posted at 12:38 AM on Friday, December 13th, 2013

Unbelievable. I don't post here a ton, though I lurk regularly. Just a few days ago I looked through my old posts wanting to see how far we'd come, and realized that it had been about a year since MOW had last attempted contact. (Prior to that it had been about 8 months when it ended.) FWH handled it really well - he immediately told me and turned off the IM function so that it showed that it was 'unavailable.' Per our decision, we chose to go with crickets.

Well apparently FWH was out for a walk today, and guess who is walking his direction on the other side of the street. She waved and I guess he gave a curt wave and kept walking. After returning to the office she had emailed him with a sarcastic email saying "guess I should be happy I at least got a wave". WTF?? She *knows* that I know, she *knows* that we're back together trying to make it work... And best of all, she met me and my kids before.. I. DON'T. GET. IT. Who does this?!?

I'm doing better - at least at the moment - than I was a year ago when she IMed FWH. Still angry and baffled, but feel less emotional than last time. It's another reminder of how much better of a person I am - so that's good, right?

Me - BW (38). Him - FWS (35)
College sweethearts
M - 13 years; together 16
DD (9) and DS (7)
Blindsided by confession on 2/17/12
6+ mo. EA/2x PA

Putting the pieces back together, day by day. Hardest thing I've ever done.

posts: 225   ·   registered: Feb. 18th, 2012
id 6595686
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rachelc ( member #30314) posted at 1:16 AM on Friday, December 13th, 2013

Yes. But. He shouldn't have waved. Just put his head down and kept walking. And you guys should send a NC letter about contacting the authorities if she ever contacts him again.

posts: 7613   ·   registered: Dec. 6th, 2010   ·   location: Midwest
id 6595713
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RightTrack ( member #36976) posted at 3:38 AM on Friday, December 13th, 2013

MOW sent my WH a blank email to his work email after a year of NC. I didn't bother with a no contact letter, I just forwarded it to her BS. END of problem (and somehow it resulted in her terminating her Facebook page too.)

posts: 870   ·   registered: Sep. 29th, 2012
id 6595845
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musiclovingmom ( member #38207) posted at 3:57 AM on Friday, December 13th, 2013

2 of my H's OW attempted contact almost exactly a year after dday. Both of them know we are together and have been told in no uncertain terms that there is to be absolutely no contact. They are ego-centric people. In her mind, your H must be thinking about her because she is thinking about him - especially since he waved back. That's more acknowledgement than she's gotten from him since the A ended. I think it was good of you guys to share what happened and ignore her. It sends a clear enough message - unless she continues reaching out. Then I might do something a little more confrontational.

posts: 1764   ·   registered: Jan. 21st, 2013
id 6595868
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fourever ( member #30631) posted at 3:55 PM on Friday, December 13th, 2013

I think that if he told you right away, kudos to him. It's a natural reaction to wave back that we don't think about until after, no matter who it is.

As for (Can't call Names in R forum), I'd, if she has one, contact her BS, or better, send the note to him and ask him to kindly control his W as you and your husband have asked her never to contact you. If no BS, draft one, (a nc) and ask an attorney to send it for you.

In R since shortly after DD.
Discovered what was right in front of him and nearly lost.

Always, tell the other BS! Always!

"It's hard to be in love when you can't tell lies"!

posts: 917   ·   registered: Jan. 4th, 2011   ·   location: Northeast
id 6596353
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