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What the hell just happened?

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Tripletrouble posted 12/12/2013 20:40 PM

I am almost 8 mos post D day and my d was final two weeks ago. It all happened so fast. Most days I feel solidly on my feet, but tonight I had one of those "what the hell just happened" crying jags. I miss the marital relationship. I have many who love me but the only ones who get me are my SI friends. So thanks SI for being there for me tonight.

PurpleBirch posted 12/12/2013 20:45 PM


nomistakeaboutit posted 12/12/2013 20:49 PM

Very normal to have these feelings. How could you not, really? I experienced the same thing, occasionally, for a year after my D. I would find myself driving and thinking, "Shit. What just happened."

But, no regrets here.

You're simply still processing the magnitude of what happened.

gardens64 posted 12/12/2013 20:52 PM

Hugs. This is a rough time of year

Thefly559 posted 12/12/2013 21:18 PM

I am sorry , I am not fully divorced yet but I am 8 months from D day and I too often wonder what happened and how? not as much as before but still once in a awhile I think this is very normal and cannot wait for it to stop. all the best

nowiknow23 posted 12/12/2013 21:29 PM

((((((triple)))))) I get it, honey. We all do. Be gentle with yourself and it will pass.

NotFixable posted 12/12/2013 21:31 PM


I really feel for you! I just went to a lawyer and filled out the paperwork to start the process this morning. My emotions are all over the place from hour to hour. Being on here has helped me so much. Reading others' stories and realizing that I'm not alone in this crazy nightmare has been a lifesaver! This is a great place to be.

jemimapd posted 12/12/2013 22:32 PM

It must be in the air today. I was crying tonight and on the phone to my SIL. The feelings of loss are so painful.

I thought I would be married to this man to the end. I loved him so much.

I want the man I thought I married back. I want the marriage I believed I had. But it's gone.

JerseyCowgirl posted 12/13/2013 07:37 AM

My divorce was just 6 months after D Day and like you I am still in shock. Yet it has been a year since my divorce. I think when divorce happens so quickly we don't start processing things until afterwards because during divorce we are in survival mode. I too have the same thought of OMG what just happened and a lot of unanswered questions. I will keep you in my thoughts today as we both struggle through this.

jemimapd posted 12/13/2013 15:31 PM

Jersey, that is exactly it. I have so many unanswered questions. Sometime small pieces of the puzzle will slot into place. But there again I am having to come to terms with the fact that I will never, ever know the truth about my marriage.

I am surviving, readjusting to life on my own, getting over a devastating betrayal and wondering how much of the last ten years of my life was real.

No wonder I am feeling wiped out....

HurtsButImOK posted 12/13/2013 15:56 PM


It is a whirl wind, the getting through day to day takes up most of our lives.

The crying jag is normal and to be expected. We are grieving a massive loss. We didn't get the luxury of a few weeks/years like our POS spouses did. We are still playing catch up.

I too miss the 'best friend' I thought he was. I am working on accepting that he was not and never was that guy.

Tripletrouble posted 12/14/2013 08:54 AM

I am happy to say the sadness was short lived. Those feelings are becoming less intense and stretched out to longer intervals, which I take as a great thing. I think I have a new phase starting, which is resentment. It's different than anger, because it's not so much anger at the cheating and lying as it is resentful that I have to take on a whole new life.

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