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I wish I could help

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Please1983 posted 12/13/2013 08:26 AM

My sister in law lost her Mum on Monday. A brain aneurism, so very very sudden and unexpected, she was only 57. She was a lovely lively woman, I still can't get my head round the fact she is gone.
We are a close family and I count my sister in law as a very good friend, I can also see her front door from my house. So far she seems absolutely fine, but I know that must just be shock. I'm so worried about her. She spoke to her mum twice a day on the phone and met up with her 3 or 4 times a week.
Sister in law and I are pretty sure she suffered poasnatal depression after the birth of her daughter (3 last week) but I could never convince her to seek any proper help, she was paranoid they'd take her little girl away. We have the same health visitor and I came close to mentioning it myself but didn't want to betray sister in law, anyway lately she really seemed to have got past it, she seemed back to herself.
She is 11 weeks pregnant. I'm really worried about how she's gonna cope now.
I have been babysitting and will send up meals when I get a chance (I have a 3 month old that would like to nurse 23 hours a day). What else can I do?

Lostandpregnant posted 12/13/2013 08:52 AM

Just let her know you care..maybe drop off some snacks or meals every so often, and let her know she is in your thoughts.

StrongerOne posted 12/13/2013 09:43 AM

Can you walk over and nurse the baby at her house? Put baby in a Baby Bjorn or sling, do a few easy things for her?

dameia posted 12/13/2013 14:53 PM

Meals are always nice. My father died in May and it was so nice to not have to worry about feeding the H and kids.

I would also say, don't try and force her to talk. Some people did that to my mother and sister and it was just terrible. Just let her know that you are there for her if she ever wants someone to talk to.

nowiknow23 posted 12/13/2013 15:54 PM

Offer to watch her daughter. She likely has a million things to do that would be easier without a little one underfoot. She may also need a break so she can just rest. You could "borrow" her daughter for lunch or something, giving her a little time to herself.

Bring over some holiday treats - cookies, etc. She might not be up to doing the decorating, baking, etc.. You could also offer to help out with any shopping or errands - make it casual by giving her a call and mentioning you're heading to the store and can pick up anything she might need?

Please1983 posted 12/14/2013 05:01 AM

Thank yous for the suggestions. I have been babysitting and I helped her daughter decorate the tree when I was up the other night. Thanks.

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