The hardest classes I have ever taken, I took. Anyone ever logged hundreds of study hours only to not have it pay off? How about watching people who barely have to study at all and make As? It's not very pleasant.
Ongoing drama with xwh and ow/nw me of course being the blame for everything bad that happens. Him not co parenting and cancelling his once a month visit like 3 days before it was to happen. Totally wrecking my plans and not a thing I can do about it.
Teen DD being a victim of a violent crime.
SO of one year breaking up with me, not due to abuse, nor dishonesty nor someone else. Puzzling! I get downgraded to Friend Zone. SO insisting to help me (and still helping) with house stuff like repair and remodel, brings me chocolate, brought and cooked dinner for me and kids day after the dd crime when I was so upset, hugged and comforted me etc.. Me accepting all this because I am desperate to get house market ready to get my equity out in one year. One night kids not there, we had a bonfire and wine after working on house. He went home and texted me his apt thermostat was broken and the temp was bad. I invite him over in my wine induced state for a FWB. He turns me down.
Each time he comes over to help I am visually reminded that he found me not good enough to keep being his SO. I planned to be with him again this holiday and now obviously not.
I will be alone for the holiday.
If possible I will go to an ashram but cost is probably going to prevent that.
In spite of compliments at work from coworkers, boss and the public we serve, they will not promote me. I am stuck in a support position. All I want to do is jump that wall to the next class. My job is repetitious and about to drive me batty. My only relief are tasks I enjoy given to me from the dept accountant but that is not daily. Yes I have made it quite known these feelings, still nothing. Nota.
SI these things nearly caused me a mental breakdown. It feels like I just got by with the skin of my teeth. I wish I could tell all women, (and men too)that please please please think twice before marrying and giving up career to be a stay at home parent. If your partner is later unfaithful and you divorce, you're basically **cked. Your children will also suffer as will your mental health. Maybe some people have huge extended family around to help and support but people like me do not. One parent that's it who lives out of town and now his health is not great so he can't help with physical stuff much either. Over Thanksgiving asking him to spray paint chairs caused him to get a blister and he made a drama about it.
Does anyone here understand?