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PhoenixRising88 posted 12/13/2013 09:48 AM

Okay so I went from dealing with a STBX that keeps calling me every time a piece of mail shows up for me, telling me he misses me, hell even asking to come over for dinner...

to one this week that's started accelerating closing the joint account and asking to meet me on Saturday to 'get the settlement agreement signed and notarized and be done with it'...

I wonder what her name is and if she's half his age like the last one... Fortunately NOT my problem anymore. I have to admit it does sting a little, I mean, Jesus, I've not even been moved out a month yet!

StillLivin posted 12/13/2013 10:09 AM

Look at it for the blessing it really is.
He is continuing to show you who he is.
Take that little bit of sting in your pride and let it remind you of all the pain he originally caused you and run with it.
This should make it even easier to put him in your past and to move forward!

Take2 posted 12/13/2013 15:28 PM

Not that anyone wants a degree in this school of hard knocks - but you just passed, "Interpreting the Communication of a WS" with flying colors!

((PR88)) The sting fades. It gets better.

devistatedmom posted 12/13/2013 15:32 PM

Please do not sign anything this weekend!!! Tell him you will take them and read them over. Of course he wants you to sign them on a you can't have them looked over by a lawyer!!!

Maybe I'm wrong, but please be careful

PhoenixRising88 posted 12/13/2013 16:10 PM

Devastated, the papers say precisely what I want them to. I wrote them!

[This message edited by PhoenixRising88 at 4:10 PM, December 13th (Friday)]

still2suspicious posted 12/13/2013 16:47 PM

In 09, when I moved out due to what I thought was family issues (didn't know about bitchface yet) he already had her, but I later learned he also looked up our old neighbor, and went to a local restaurant/bar!! WTF????

I asked why. Ans: I thought we were gonna get D'd, and it was lonely.

I gasped "but only 6 fucking weeks?? We were together 35 yrs, for gosh sakes!

And that just showed me how little grief he would feel for me if I died first!!!

Yep, some things sting like a son-of-a-gun!

[This message edited by still2suspicious at 4:48 PM, December 13th (Friday)]

SBB posted 12/13/2013 16:54 PM

Yep. I have our final S email exchange to remind me of exactly how quickly he morphed into the guy I now have to deal with.

He didn't just change because he no longer wanted R - he went FERAL, totally FUBAR.

t was dazed and confused at first too but then I realised the guy I thought I loved and married was a mask. He never really existed. The mask fell off - that was why he changed so quickly.

Skan posted 12/13/2013 17:45 PM

Hey, if those are papers that YOU drew up, tell him you'll meet him tonight to get them signed!

momentintime posted 12/14/2013 00:43 AM

Make sure he didn't make any changes before you sign.

gonnabe2016 posted 12/14/2013 00:55 AM

to 'get the settlement agreement signed and notarized and be done with it'...

I wonder what her name is

That's how *my* cycle works too.

If you are totally cool with the agreement, your L has given you the thumbs up, and he is ready to sign it....go for it. Finish it and be done.

PhoenixRising88 posted 12/14/2013 20:12 PM

I'm the one that printed out the document and brought it to the meeting today, so I know he didn't make any changes. No lawyers, doing uncontested no kids and we've already hashed out and agreed to division of property, etc in writing. And the State of Texas provides instructions on pro se. It's a pretty straightforward process with no kids and uncontested - they even provide the forms!

So we met up at the Mail Plus store just down the street from my old house and each initialed each page and signed them and had them notarized, I made a copy for him, brought original home with me. Now all that's left is finish waiting the 'cooling off' period then schedule final hearing.

I asked him, half jokingly, "so why'd you change your mind about signing these right away? You meet somebody or what?"

And he looked right at me and said "no. Actually I was talking with Tony (friend of both of ours) who mentioned that we might want to get them signed while we're still getting along okay. Tony brought up the point that if one of us get pissed off at the other we'll stop cooperating and they'll never get signed."

Had to admit, Tony's advice was pretty damn smart.

Whatever the catalyst, I'm glad to have papers signed. Now I just gotta be patient.... freaking waiting period!!

nowiknow23 posted 12/14/2013 21:16 PM

Yay for signed papers!

PurpleRose posted 12/14/2013 21:48 PM

Tony is a smart man. Glad your STBX took that advice!

dmari posted 12/14/2013 22:08 PM

Congrats on getting the papers signed!! Yahoooo! I think you are the rare uncontested ones here!

PhoenixRising88 posted 12/14/2013 23:01 PM

So I have only two things left to do on my big ole 'to-do' list that I made when I started this process (I'm an accountant and a natural analyzer so you betcha I've got lists and budget spreadsheets and the whole nine yards!)

1) Get divorce finalized - PENDING - S/B anytime after 1/27/14, that's when waiting period is over.

2) Refinance the car into my name - PENDING - As soon as I get final decree signed off by the judge, per the tax assessor's office I can show it to them and they will transfer title into my name and I am pre-approved already for a loan...

I am sooooo ready to type COMPLETED by these last two!!

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