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lostandhopless (original poster member #41568) posted at 6:11 PM on Friday, December 13th, 2013
Well I know it's only been a short time since I started this "wonderful" journey to the center of hell. I don't believe that the devil knows I was here yet, so I'm gonna put it to the boards and get myself outa here. I am pushing the D forward as fast as I can. After crying for the last 3 weeks I have spent the whole time reflecting on the last 8 years.
What I have seen is a very selfish WW that only cared about what I could give her without any reciprocation. So I am deciding that she is not worth letting myself go through this.
I am responsible for my own happiness, not her. She is a cancerous tumor that needs to be cut out!!!!!!
I am so much better than someone who would do this and I refuse to sit and dwell on it and be miserable, that just empowers her. I am a strong, caring, considerate, dedicated, hardworking person who deserve so much better than the people who did this to me.
So I am still crying as I write this, But they are now tears of joy because I don't even hate them, just want nothing to do with them. Let me be is all I ask.
"A NEW YEAR IS A GOOD REASON TO LEAVE SOME PEOPLE IN THE OLD ONE"
I believe that it is time for me to move over to "new beginnings" and stop feeling sorry for myself. I control my life not them.
I may be jumping the gun here. I may be back but "better to try and fail than never try at all"!!! 
Be careful who you trust. Even your shadow will abandon you when it's dark.....
Divorced 6/13/14
peoplepleaser ( member #41535) posted at 6:28 PM on Friday, December 13th, 2013
Good luck to you. I hope that you get what you need to move on in the direction that suits you best.
XWS: 40
BS: 40
DS: 7
9 year relationship
DDay #1: September 6, 2013 EA for 5 weeks August 2013 with TT
DDay #2: January 2, 2014 EA for 6 weeks summer 2011 with TT
"I am still learning." -Michelangelo
Lola88 ( member #41540) posted at 9:06 PM on Friday, December 13th, 2013
Do they realise the damage they cause? I'm not making excuses but can not imagine myself putting anyone in the position they put us in. Are they a breed apart or are we?
It is the centre of hell and it crosses all boundaries - love, hugs and strength to you x
lostandhopless (original poster member #41568) posted at 10:14 PM on Friday, December 13th, 2013
My thoughts are this, they are so self centered that they just don't care as long as they get their way..... 
Be careful who you trust. Even your shadow will abandon you when it's dark.....
Divorced 6/13/14
Skan ( member #35812) posted at 12:12 AM on Saturday, December 14th, 2013
Hey, if you're sure this is what you want, then go for it. She killed the marriage when she betrayed you, and I cannot blame you one bit for deciding not to keep poking the stinking remains, especially with a WW that doesn't give a damn.
I would suggest that you might want to pop over into the Separation & Divorce forum and introduce yourself. There's an equally great group of people there with experience that will definitely be of help to you.
Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.
D-Day, June 10, 2012
brkn_heartd ( member #30396) posted at 12:21 AM on Saturday, December 14th, 2013
This is a deal breaker for some. I don't think they do realize the permanent damage that is caused. I hope all goes well for you and HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Me-57 BS
Him 65-WS
Married 38 yrs, together 40
Affair Aug-Dec 09
official D-12/14/09
broke NC 1/31/10
second D 3/19/10
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