I mean, i dunno how these MP3s would get a person off, it's more... Well... "You want to do all of these things for me." And " I am the only woman you want." I mean really creepy stuff... He has watched porn our whole marriage, but he didn't turn cold toward me until he started with that crap. I took sexy pictures of my self for him for his birthday, and he asked me, "what am I supposed to do with these?" He would like get mad at me for suggesting we have sex... Almost like I was an OW. His porn habits also ramped up big time during the time he was listening.
[This message edited by steadfast1973 at 4:45 PM, December 13th (Friday)]
Yes, he cheated. He did have sex with a prostitute, but the "curiosity" started months ago. He'd set up meetings, and cancel them. Chat with them until they tired of his BS and quit talking to him... Etc. it took months to actually seal the deal, of you will. i am not trying to excuse anything he's done. I was trying to see if anyone had any insight on the genre. Because it is bizarre.
He is not doing these things anymore, and is seeking IC. He confessed, on his own, just over 12 hours after he was with the prostitute... I didn't find the extent of his porn usage and prostitute chatting until after he had already told me about all of it.
i am sorry I am not being clear, I have asperger's syndrome so it's hard for me to explain something entirely new to someone.
[This message edited by steadfast1973 at 6:54 PM, December 13th (Friday)]
I'm sure it did blur his boundaries, but in the same way most WS do, he was letting them blur and finding shit to involve himself in. If he really thinks they have some kind of magical power you could sneak some Stay The Fuck Married tracks in there instead so the next time he listens to that nonsense he will hypnotize himself into getting you flowers and painting your toenails or something.
Or am I just still trying to grasp this as not his fault?
That would be my impression.
He has serious problems. Problems you can't fix and most certainly should not try to excuse away. HE has to fix his problems. He has to want to fix his problems.
Interestingly enough, the voice of his favorite, is also the voice on the guided meditation file my doctor gave me to deal with panic attacks...