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Divorce/Separation :
Does the crying ever stop?

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 Lostandpregnant (original poster member #41433) posted at 11:16 PM on Friday, December 13th, 2013

I realize it's only been right around a month..plus pregnancy hormones..but every time I go a couple of days without crying..something hits, and I end up a sobbing mess AGAIN.

Does this EVER stop?

He left me 18 weeks pregnant with twins for another.I am a Licensed Private Investigator..it even happens to us.

posts: 354   ·   registered: Nov. 23rd, 2013   ·   location: Canada
id 6596960
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ruinedandbroken ( member #29250) posted at 11:48 PM on Friday, December 13th, 2013

((LostandPregnant))

Yes, the crying does stop. It took years for me to go a whole week without crying. But it does stop eventually. So sorry you are going through this.

“People who cheat feel that life is for the taking, and that everyone deserves happiness no matter what the cost. I must remember these tricks if I ever have my soul surgically removed."
Me: BS 42. Him: WH 41 2 Kids 8&11
Married 14 yrs Together 21

posts: 1622   ·   registered: Aug. 6th, 2010
id 6597003
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Skan ( member #35812) posted at 11:52 PM on Friday, December 13th, 2013

(((hugs)))

Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012


posts: 11513   ·   registered: Jun. 11th, 2012   ·   location: So California
id 6597007
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FaithFool ( member #20150) posted at 12:03 AM on Saturday, December 14th, 2013

Yes it does. Trust me on that one. (((L+P)))

DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire

posts: 21594   ·   registered: Jul. 7th, 2008   ·   location: Canada
id 6597016
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endlessabsurdity ( member #40249) posted at 12:20 AM on Saturday, December 14th, 2013

Yes, but it does take time. It took months before I stopped thinking about the affair every second of every day. Just hold on. You will make it. Stay strong.

posts: 80   ·   registered: Aug. 9th, 2013   ·   location: United States
id 6597036
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nowiknow23 ( member #33226) posted at 1:15 AM on Saturday, December 14th, 2013

(((((l&p))))) Hang in there, honey.

You can call me NIK

And never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.
― Sarah McMane

posts: 40250   ·   registered: Aug. 29th, 2011
id 6597085
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NotFixable ( member #41608) posted at 2:20 AM on Saturday, December 14th, 2013

Just know you are not alone. I am also crying constantly, and I have no added pregnancy hormones. Sitting at my desk at work today, I would randomly break down into tears. The second I got home this evening, I sat down on the couch and cried uncontrollably for half an hour. Every time I think the tears must surely be gone, here they come again. Sigh....

Me-BS
Him-WH
Married 13 years
DD #1 03/12
DD #2 11/20/13
DD #3 came after the others although it was with whore #1. Took a while to admit to her because she's so fat and disgusting.
So many additional AP came out later that I lost count.

posts: 246   ·   registered: Dec. 11th, 2013
id 6597148
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SBB ( member #35229) posted at 2:22 AM on Saturday, December 14th, 2013

I cried so much for those first 7-odd months that I barely wee'd. I would take regular bawling breaks and hide in the bathroom just quietly sobbing. While weekends without my girls spent laying in their beds weeping a river of tears.

Back then the tears were crippling - these data they are cleansing.

It does stop, I promise. I never thought it would but it did. I still get teary every few weeks but it isn't agony, it is mourning.

Be gentle with yourself.

(((L&P))

I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!

posts: 6062   ·   registered: Apr. 4th, 2012   ·   location: Australia
id 6597150
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hexed ( member #19258) posted at 12:35 PM on Saturday, December 14th, 2013

((L&P))

Yes it does stop. You're doing fantastic if you go a couple of days with out crying right now. Good grief I cried ever bloody day for months and I wasn't pregnant! You cry as much as you need to. Don't worry about it. Its OK to cry for the death of your M! Its sad. Its hurtful. It deserves tears.

You're going to be so busy with a new baby you deserve to do whatever you need to right now! Don't fuss much about how often it is. You're doing just fine

But that's just a lot of water
Underneath a bridge I burned
And there's no use in backtracking
Around corners I have turned

“Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future.” -foulton oursler

posts: 9609   ·   registered: Apr. 24th, 2008
id 6597465
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 Lostandpregnant (original poster member #41433) posted at 3:35 PM on Saturday, December 14th, 2013

Thank you for listening, you guys. You always make me feel like it's okay to feel what I'm feeling..I'm so not used to that.

I wish I could bake all of you some cookies and hug you.

He left me 18 weeks pregnant with twins for another.I am a Licensed Private Investigator..it even happens to us.

posts: 354   ·   registered: Nov. 23rd, 2013   ·   location: Canada
id 6597616
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nowiknow23 ( member #33226) posted at 3:39 PM on Saturday, December 14th, 2013

This place is magical, isn't it?

You can call me NIK

And never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.
― Sarah McMane

posts: 40250   ·   registered: Aug. 29th, 2011
id 6597626
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Must Survive ( member #34533) posted at 3:46 PM on Saturday, December 14th, 2013

LandP,

I am 2 years out and I still cry sometimes. And not pregnant either!

I would say the first 4 months I cried so much that my eyes were always beet red. I would try to put on makeup and all you could see were the RED eyes. I'm pretty sure I could have gotten a part in the Walking Dead as a zombie!

My IC says its good to cry. Don't bottle up those feelings.

Me BS
WS: Just a squished bug on the window of my life!
Divorced-Let my new beginning start

They have a choice: they can live in my new world, or they can die in their old one." — Daenerys Targaryen

posts: 1066   ·   registered: Jan. 13th, 2012   ·   location: Must Survive
id 6597632
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Vulcanized ( member #33523) posted at 10:10 PM on Saturday, December 14th, 2013

((L&P))

I cried every day for a year. Seriously, no exaggeration. I still cry & I've been D'd for 9 months. Now it's more of a 1 x a season. And like SBB said, it's mourning.

Take care of yourself.

Me: fBW/MH 40s
3.26.13: Liberation day: D'd the whiny turd after being saddled with a serial cheating, NPD, jitbag 10 years too long

Now:-----> Everything is as it should be

posts: 940   ·   registered: Oct. 4th, 2011   ·   location: The Hostile City
id 6597976
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hangingonin ( member #29530) posted at 4:53 PM on Sunday, December 15th, 2013

It's good to know that it does stop eventually. I cry most days - thankfully I can hold it together at work, but as soon as I'm home it starts. My son comes home for Christmas next weekend, so I'm hoping I can hold it together a bit more when he's home.

posts: 77   ·   registered: Sep. 6th, 2010   ·   location: SE England, UK
id 6598643
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Bravenewgirl ( member #36267) posted at 7:06 PM on Sunday, December 15th, 2013

Yes it stops. Promise.

Right now, its good and normal that you are crying...crying is an emotional release. Tears of grief actually are actually chemically different than, say, hay fever tears. You are getting rid of stress hormones and emptying out your pain so that you can start to heal.

I didn't cry for a least 6 weeks after d-day. Boy, was it a relief when the tears started to flow.

I am sorry for your pain. ((((((lost)))))))

Don't come around here no more
-Tom Petty

posts: 675   ·   registered: Jul. 26th, 2012   ·   location: Canada
id 6598762
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wontdefineme ( member #31421) posted at 11:15 PM on Sunday, December 15th, 2013

Once I finally stopped crying, not much brings me to tears anymore. A few tears of joy at my daughters wedding, but otherwise nothing else warrants tears after living with a lying cheating arsehole.

posts: 2328   ·   registered: Mar. 5th, 2011
id 6598992
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caregiver9000 ( member #28622) posted at 11:26 PM on Sunday, December 15th, 2013

mmmmm.... cookies....

You are such a sweet and caring person. You will bounce back. Damn four letter word: time.

But it will pass. It is perfectly NATURAL to cry at what has happened!!!

(((hugs)))

Me: fortysomething, independent, happy,
XH "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
two kids, teens. Old enough I am truly NO CONTACT w/ NPD zebraduck
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

posts: 7063   ·   registered: May. 27th, 2010   ·   location: a better place
id 6598997
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renee21 ( member #27088) posted at 12:24 AM on Monday, December 16th, 2013

I cry every day....on the drive to and from work, at my desk and at night....been doing this for 6 months. I'm just separated and heading into D at this point, so I'm like you hoping the hurt and tears will go away.

Hugs to you and all of us going through this.

BW(me) 36
WH-36 SA
Three kids 18, 16 and 9
Married 18 years.
Multiple D-Days, multiple OW and an OC
12/19/03,5/13/2004,12/5/2009, 2/20/2014
I am no longer a guest on the Jerry Springer Show.

posts: 1327   ·   registered: Jan. 6th, 2010   ·   location: Florida
id 6599045
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WeepingBuddhist ( member #39139) posted at 1:34 PM on Monday, December 16th, 2013

(((LP))) I don't know if the crying stops. It hasn't yet, for me. But I am still relieved about my future and more optimistic every day.

Me: BS 46
Him: unimportant
D Day:4-27-13
DIVORCED!!! 2-20-14

posts: 978   ·   registered: Apr. 30th, 2013   ·   location: BFE
id 6599465
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 Lostandpregnant (original poster member #41433) posted at 1:51 PM on Monday, December 16th, 2013

Giant hugs to all of us.

He left me 18 weeks pregnant with twins for another.I am a Licensed Private Investigator..it even happens to us.

posts: 354   ·   registered: Nov. 23rd, 2013   ·   location: Canada
id 6599475
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