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t/j - time machine, of sorts

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inconnu posted 12/13/2013 18:31 PM

My membership was just recently upgraded to a premium membership, which means I now have access to a lot of my older posts. So it's kind of like a time machine to my past, and a safe one, because I can't change the past and end up with a different future, kwim?

I've already spent more than several hours re-reading threads from when I joined SI as inconnu back in 2009. That was right after my 3rd d-day, btw. I had found the secret cell phone which confirmed ex was still cheating.

I got to see the posts I made when ex walked out on me and the kids, the ones I posted when I filed for divorce, and of course the ones from the 2009 Christmas from hell. I've only made it through the beginning of 2010, and except for the very beginning of my posts, I've been randomly reading threads.

I expected it to be triggery, and sad, but it wasn't.

Instead, what I could really see is how far I've come since then. And omg, the love and support I've received from both past and present SIers...there aren't words to adequately describe it. But god, my heart and soul are so filled with positive energy right now. It's just amazing.

SI is amazing. Thank you, all.

nowiknow23 posted 12/13/2013 19:12 PM

Keep reading and you should get an idea of exactly how huge an impact YOU have had on other posters here, inconnu. I know that when I go back to read my posts from 2011 and 2012, you are all over them sharing support and love, and I know I wasn't the only beneficiary.

Chrysalis123 posted 12/13/2013 19:47 PM

Yeah Inconnu!! You have helped me and many others. Thank you.

SBB posted 12/13/2013 20:16 PM

^^ what they said.

I too have read through my first posts I was astonished at how clear the situation is to me now when back then I was so deep in the BS fog I didn't know which was was up.

inconnu posted 12/13/2013 20:47 PM

devistatedmom posted 12/13/2013 20:49 PM

I agree too inconnu! I think you know there are many days that you kept me sane. Thanks for always being here inconnu!!! It's been quite the journey.

caregiver9000 posted 12/13/2013 21:30 PM

I get every word you wrote. I have recently read back and it makes sense to me now why certain SI'ers have their names on my heart. Thank God for the wisdom that sticks and sticks around!


We've come a long way!

Sad in AZ posted 12/14/2013 00:13 AM

You're a brave woman; I'm afraid to upgrade and see what a stewing mess I was back in 2009.

Even if you hadn't upgraded, we could have told you you've come a long way, baby.

IrishLass518 posted 12/14/2013 00:18 AM

You're one of my favorites to read and to get comments from. You have helped me to heal and made me laugh and find hope in myself. You're awesome inconnu

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