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Facebook posts - WS wants me to break spouse NC?

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GotPlayed posted 12/13/2013 18:45 PM

NCing the WS since she asked for a separation.

Handling it well so far but she just posted on facebook some glamour shots she took to send me originally when we met (we met online).

Hard not to break NC over it. She's sitting on the next desk over, she came to the office to look for a job online. Oh man.

NC still in place. Wish me luck.

solus sto posted 12/13/2013 18:50 PM

I would submit that true NC would involve NOT looking at her Facebook page.

FB is NOT intended to punish a WS. It is intended to help YOU detach and begin healing.

Avoiding her FB would be a good start.

NC=no new pain.

GotPlayed posted 12/13/2013 18:56 PM

I know. It showed on my news feed - I've avoided Facebook for a few days. It's awkward to remove her as a friend. Haven't added a like or mentioned it.

Brandon808 posted 12/13/2013 19:21 PM

Un-friend her on FB.

NC no new hurts

Skan posted 12/14/2013 16:27 PM

Ditto. Unfriend her. That sends a clear message without breaking NC.

IrishLass518 posted 12/14/2013 16:34 PM

Stay strong GP. This is hard and they will up the ante just to see what will make you react. Tread carefully, they often want to push your buttons so when you do react they can say, "See? He/she is crazy. See why I had to have an affair?"

Post often and unfriend/block on FB.

Marathonwaseasy posted 12/14/2013 17:13 PM

If you don't want to unfriend as that's a tad passive aggressive then just block her feed from yours
Take care

GotPlayed posted 12/14/2013 17:28 PM

Good idea. As soon as I'm by a computer again I'll adjust her down so I stop seeing her updates.

This is very hard, we're in the same house. Out right now for wings and a movie, by myself. While everyone else is with their families for the holidays.

Anyway, thank you all!

solus sto posted 12/14/2013 19:23 PM

People don't get notifications if you unfriend them. Chances are pretty good she wouldn't even notice. (I think we all think our foggy WSs think about us a heck of a lot more than they really do---and, sadly, want to believe that.)

If you BLOCK her (completely, not from your feed), then she won't see anything you do on FB. It's not "passive aggressive" to actually be NC. It's natural consequences for her actions. AND it maintains NC, which feed-blocking does not.

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