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Down night

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lisaloo posted 12/13/2013 20:36 PM

I'm having a down night...I know I'm supposed to be ready to move on and break free and all that strong, empowered rhetoric, but I'm just a big depressed mess tonight...all I can seem to think about is the fact that, at the end of the day, no matter how I spin it, I wasn't enough...and that STBXH just simply doesn't want me. And that rejection just hurts like hell.

Gemini71 posted 12/13/2013 20:44 PM

This has nothing to do with you being not enough, it's about him being incapable. What you are feeling is grief. You are grieving the end of your marriage, the loss of the husband you thought you had. Allow yourself to grieve, it is an important part of the recovery process.

PurpleBirch posted 12/13/2013 20:56 PM


There's no timeline for moving on. There are no "supposed to's" either. As annoying as this sounds, it takes as long as it takes. Hugs on this cold winter night.

jemimapd posted 12/13/2013 21:16 PM

I know. I go back and forth between good days when I LOVE not dealing with ex and all his dysfunction and other days when I feel overwhelmed with sadness at the loss of my marriage. All I know is that this seems to be normal and I'm just taking it a day at a time. I have no idea how I will feel tomorrow.

nowiknow23 posted 12/13/2013 21:24 PM

((((lisaloo)))) I'm sorry you're feeling down tonight, honey. It is normal. Or at least what passes for normal in these circumstances. Be gentle with yourself, honey. One thing you can count on for certain is that just as sure as you are down tonight, you will be up again. It may not be much, but it helped me in some of the toughest hours.

careerlady posted 12/13/2013 22:43 PM

(((Lisaloo))) you can't fill an abyss, and serial cheaters can never be satisfied. They are bottomless abysses. Black holes. The vacuum of space. Many of them are narcissists so they only end up "settling down" with the best of the best (like us ) and are enamored for a while, but in the end no one can be enough. That's why you see even the most gorgeous, talented people cheated on and thrown out like yesterday's garbage. It's THEM.

Not that I don't mourn the loss of my marriage, quite the contrary. I just know it never could have worked with the Snake and his ilk.

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