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Iamhappytoday (original poster member #39051) posted at 4:25 AM on Saturday, December 14th, 2013
So, STB(Not fast enough)ExH and I have an agreement to give gifts on behalf of the kids (nothing major), for bdays and Christmas until...whenever.
I told my mother that since his *cough* GF is living with him, ain't NO WAY I'm buying anything she can use. I'm either buying him hunting gear or something that will make them both fat. Bring on the candy cane chocolate bark! (hey, that's a very awesome gift for the two suddenly fit fanatics).
I think that's fair.
AND I got a claims email from the insurance company, as apparently he pulled out in front of someone and had a bit of a fender bender this evening.
I just can't facepalm enough times or I'll knock myself out.
And if anyone is wondering, the gift thing was something I thought about for awhile since my folks were like that, and it's something we agreed on, so please no judgement on that. I never said I was gonna buy him stuff they could both use... :-)
[This message edited by Iamhappytoday at 10:26 PM, December 13th (Friday)]
BW 39
WH 34
2DD's 15 months at start
Together 10 years, M 9
OW 22 CW, 2kids by 2 men & youngest less than 1 when affair started.
Dday 1 8/16/12 "just texting"
TT, gaslighting, denial; was always PA; he left me for her. Divorced 8/11/15
devistatedmom ( member #24961) posted at 4:30 AM on Saturday, December 14th, 2013
Take the kids to target or something and let them pick something from an area you approve of. They would be thrilled to give him something like a stuffed animal, or a shirt, or a plate. I would let them pick out something, not go whole hog with hunting equipment. It should mean something to them, that they are happy to give.
BS(me) 46, Two wonderful teens.
He is no longer my best friend. Repeat until it sticks.
WH says marriage is over: May 15, 2009.
EA#2 July 20, 2009. Legally sep: Aug 16, 2009. DIVORCED!!!! Signed Nov 23, final Dec 24, 2010, adultery listed.
Iamhappytoday (original poster member #39051) posted at 4:34 AM on Saturday, December 14th, 2013
I think that's a good idea, but they're two, so I may use your suggestion as inspiration, though, in combination with a regular gift.
Thank you!!!
BW 39
WH 34
2DD's 15 months at start
Together 10 years, M 9
OW 22 CW, 2kids by 2 men & youngest less than 1 when affair started.
Dday 1 8/16/12 "just texting"
TT, gaslighting, denial; was always PA; he left me for her. Divorced 8/11/15
ArkLaMiss ( member #14918) posted at 5:03 AM on Saturday, December 14th, 2013
Nah, don't spend money. Have them draw him something or do a handprint for him or something like that. No WAY should it be anything even close to being costly! Do an art project with them.
Just HOW stupid do you think I am, exactly?
ItHappened2Me2 ( member #32503) posted at 5:09 AM on Saturday, December 14th, 2013
http://www.bing.com/search?q=handprint+ornament&form=IE10TR&src=IE10TR&pc=ASU2JS
Help them make a handprint ornament -- very little cost to you and you get the benefit of spending quality time with the kids while making them. Heck, make a couple for yourself too!
BS - me (57 now); WS - him (57 now)
DD 21o, DS 17 yo
Married 25 years (together 27+/-)
DDay #1 - March 18, 2011
DD #2 (after 3 + month TT and false R -- the affair had gone underground) - June 28,2011
DD3: June 19, 2013
DIVORCED!!!! and doing well
GabyBaby ( member #26928) posted at 5:12 AM on Saturday, December 14th, 2013
Keep in mind that liars lie.
You may have agreed that you will both buy gifts for each other "from the kids", but that doesn't mean he will actually follow through (especially with GF in the picture).
I'm with the previous posters. Have the kids make him something or buy an inexpensive trinket that they can present to their father. If you need a price range, I wouldn't spend more on XWH than I would for a trip to Starbucks. 
[This message edited by GabyBaby at 11:44 PM, December 13th (Friday)]
Me - late 40s
DD(27), DS(24, PDD-NOS)
WH#2 (SorryinSac)- Killed himself (May 2015) in our home 6 days after being served divorce docs.
XWH #1 - legally married 18yrs. 12+ OW (that I know of).
I edit often for clarity/typos.
momentintime ( member #16394) posted at 6:10 AM on Saturday, December 14th, 2013
Shoe laces, shoe polish, shaving cream, screwdriver set, you get the idea.
BS-me FWS - him
D-day 8/04
R'd
"Global editing disclaimer - I edit almost everything I post, and I am not going to post why every time."...re: Bionical girl
ruby44 ( member #41135) posted at 12:31 PM on Saturday, December 14th, 2013
Sorta in the same dilemma, but my girls are older. STBXH told me that I needed to tell the girls what I want because he was taking them shopping! So I need to reciprocate? I had some great ideas before all this happened but now.
Plus what I want was never a concern before.
So I will take them shopping and let them pick something out, but really how long is the ow gonna tolerate him spending money on me and how long do I want this charade to carry on.
I think my dds should ask him for an allowance. If they want to save their allowance money and shop for him I can do that.
Me BW 52, Him WH 48
Married 13 years,
2 DDs (12 and 10)
D-Day Confirmed 10/24/13 suspected before that but did not want to believe it.
WH filed for D 11/12/13
2/8/14 WH asked if he could come home.
Gemini71 ( member #40115) posted at 12:37 PM on Saturday, December 14th, 2013
STBXH is getting a calendar. Kids' birthdays are pre-marked. 
DSs 21, 16, 12
About my Ex:
IDK
IDC
IDGAF
Double Betrayal D-Day 7/26/2013
Divorced 11/18/2014
PurpleBirch ( member #39170) posted at 1:44 PM on Saturday, December 14th, 2013
STBXH is getting a calendar. Kids' birthdays are pre-marked.
Lol Gemini. Good idea!
Me: BS (32)
Him: WH (31)
Married 3 years.
Confessed to PA April 21 2013.
DS (6), DS (18 months)
Aug 30 2013 He gives me back his ring with an ultimatum: "Get over it or get out".
Status: Done like dinner
ruby44 ( member #41135) posted at 3:26 PM on Saturday, December 14th, 2013
would love to do that with all the court dates, mediation, anniversaries of date he met the whore, blew up our family etc!
Me BW 52, Him WH 48
Married 13 years,
2 DDs (12 and 10)
D-Day Confirmed 10/24/13 suspected before that but did not want to believe it.
WH filed for D 11/12/13
2/8/14 WH asked if he could come home.
Must Survive ( member #34533) posted at 3:40 PM on Saturday, December 14th, 2013
I think "they" should give him a calendar. One that is personalized, each month a different picture of you and the girls together doing something fun. Several places will make those for you.
Me BS
WS: Just a squished bug on the window of my life!
Divorced-Let my new beginning start
They have a choice: they can live in my new world, or they can die in their old one." — Daenerys Targaryen
nowiknow23 ( member #33226) posted at 3:48 PM on Saturday, December 14th, 2013
I just can't facepalm enough times or I'll knock myself out.
This is SO going on the quote thread.
You can call me NIK
And never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.
― Sarah McMane
ruinedandbroken ( member #29250) posted at 4:02 PM on Saturday, December 14th, 2013
I would have them make something or let them buy something little of their choosing (like less than $5) It should be the thought. I would not spend tons of money.
“People who cheat feel that life is for the taking, and that everyone deserves happiness no matter what the cost. I must remember these tricks if I ever have my soul surgically removed."
Me: BS 42. Him: WH 41 2 Kids 8&11
Married 14 yrs Together 21
Iamhappytoday (original poster member #39051) posted at 8:09 PM on Saturday, December 14th, 2013
I love all those gift ideas!
And to be quoted is fun, NIK!
Actually, my bday just passed and I got a pretty excellent gift, in addition to needing to play nice until mediation is final, so I'm not going to be a total bitch. I just want to ensure I give nothing (to borrow the term) his slunt can use, unless it's fattening and causes cavities.
I like the ornament idea and have some stuff to do that already, but I don't know if I feel like sharing!
I cried like a baby my birthday and on Thanksgiving because they were playing happy family together with my 2 year old twins and most of both those days I was alone until I was able to be with the kids. I know Christmas is going to be another tough day.
I am wishing all of you a very special holiday where you know you are loved, no matter how tough the circumstances, and that no one decides your worth through their shitty actions. You gave your best, a future of opportunity awaits you, so pat yourself on the back, and have a wonderful holiday. XOXO!
BW 39
WH 34
2DD's 15 months at start
Together 10 years, M 9
OW 22 CW, 2kids by 2 men & youngest less than 1 when affair started.
Dday 1 8/16/12 "just texting"
TT, gaslighting, denial; was always PA; he left me for her. Divorced 8/11/15
Bluebird26 ( member #36445) posted at 3:37 AM on Sunday, December 15th, 2013
We made this arrangement too, I am still waiting on receiving any gifts. He always gets one from the kids though, it's for the kids not him.
Me: BW
Best thing I gained in my divorce - my freedom.
Life's good.
PurpleRose ( member #33129) posted at 3:44 AM on Sunday, December 15th, 2013
Oh. HeLL nah.
I think in theory this sounds so lovely.. But in practice it's going to cause problems. If my kids asked me to take them shopping for a gift for their dad, of course I would do that. But I don't see that happening.
divorced the Dooosh 8/13
*****************************
Dance like nobody is watching,
Text and email like it will be used in court someday...
PhoenixRising88 ( member #35214) posted at 5:06 AM on Sunday, December 15th, 2013
I just can't facepalm enough times or I'll knock myself out.
Well....that's one way to get a good night's sleep.... LOLOLOL
Me: BS(45)Him: EX, aka "The Dink"(52). D-Day#1 12/22/11. D-Day#2 5/23/13. Divorced 1/10/14.
New chapter of my life- married 11/13/15 to the man I'd thought I would never find.
Throw me to the wolves and I'll return leading the pack.
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