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PhoenixRising88 posted 12/13/2013 22:37 PM

Just got home from my first attendance to an event as a single. My company Christmas party. It wasn't awesome but it didn't Hurt as much as I thought it might. So cross that off list of uncomfortable crap I get to do by myself...

caregiver9000 posted 12/13/2013 22:40 PM

((hugs))

cross it off the list. It gets easier. I went to the 3rd staff party as a "single."

I didn't have to pay for a plus one.
I got to visit with my friends without worrying about my spouse "fitting in."
No one embarrassed me (but me)...
I can leave whenever I am ready.

Not so bad, all in all!

Softcentre posted 12/14/2013 01:24 AM

Well done

Did your WS do the sulky, quiet no-one knows me thing? (or later the loud flirty disrespectful thing... ) Mine did and it sapped the enjoyment out of things like that. Embrace that you only have to look after you!

RedWheelBarrow posted 12/14/2013 02:19 AM

My WH always turned up the charm *and* volume at parties. A pathetic attention whore. One thing I love since he left is being able to just be me, authentic me, with friends. The truth is his behavior always freaked me out.
Leaving when you want to leave is also a great bonus of being solo at parties.

Williesmom posted 12/14/2013 04:48 AM

Mine is tonight. I was a challenge to the person in charge of seating because I'm a single. So, I'll be sitting with our international employees, who are all single and extremely fun.

suckstobeme posted 12/14/2013 05:52 AM

Good for you!

It does get a lot better. I remember my first work party as a single. I felt so uncomfortable, I went with another couple just so I wouldn't walk in alone. It was ok during the event, but I remember crying the whole way home.

The next year was much better and this year even better than that. These are my friends and people who support me. When I walk in, they say hi, hand me a drink and welcome me into their conversations.

Now I feel like anyone else who I choose to bring with me in the future better hold up and be good enough for me and my friends and co workers.

PurpleBirch posted 12/14/2013 07:41 AM

My first work Christmas party is on Thursday. I like most of the other teachers, so I think I'll be ok. Most of them will have their spouses though, so I'm not sure how I'll be feeling about that in the end.

WH never really liked going out to parties, so at least I won't have to worry about "is he feeling left out, etc.". Or worse, if I happen to talk to any of the male teachers (who, I'm sorry, are not the least bit attractive), will WH think I'm showing too much interest in them.

PhoenixRising88 posted 12/14/2013 19:57 PM

Thanks for the responses.... It was just really awkward feeling. The first event like this in ten years that I went to by myself....

Although now that I think about it, STBX started showing his backside by quitting coming to any of my family's get-togethers about four years ago...

So...actually I've BEEN going to events by myself, up until last night they were all just family events and last night was a corporate event.

I can tell you this - my family (and friends) have been the ROCK STARS of my world through all this. I have no interest in even attempting to date anytime soon. But if and when I finally am ready to, one of the things I will not compromise on will be the guy has to be into family. Never again will I be involved with someone who tries subtly or not-to-subtly to have me all to themselves and discourages time with my family.