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Newest Member: asherssoul (45716)

User Topic: Dream about OM
♂ 38157
Member # 38157
Default  Posted: 10:55 PM, December 13th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sometimes I miss the OM. He and I were BFF's for 30 years until he broke the bro-code and had an A with my WW.

The other night I had a dream that my WW and I were renewing our vows and he showed up (he was my Best Man at both my weddings and I was at his).

In my dream my parents (who know nothing about the A) were happy to see him. I asked him to come speak to me outside in the hallway of the banquet centre, at which point I told him to GTFO and he left. When I went back in there were a lot of eyebrows raised as to why he had showed up and left again.

Anyway, I woke up after that and had a lot of trouble getting back to sleep.

Double Betrayal really sucks.

D-Day 1: 22 Dec 2012
D-Day 2: 22 July 2014
Me: 40's WW: 40's Together 15 years
1st OM: ex-"Best Friend" of 30+ years

Posts: 224 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Toronto
♀ 6449
Member # 6449
Default  Posted: 1:05 AM, December 14th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I knew the mow but we were acquaintances and it hurt me very deeply, so I can imagine the pain you're in having known your fBFF for 30 years and I'm sure it hurts on so many levels to try and overcome. I've had many disturbing dreams about the mow over the years. It's your subconscious trying to work things out in your mind. (((mrcpu)))

~~"You can't run away from yourself"!!! Me to my H when he descended into adultery insanity.
~~Prov.15:13 "By sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken"
~~"The day breaks-your mind aches"

Posts: 9818 | Registered: Feb 2005 | From: Texas
♀ 34373
Member # 34373
Default  Posted: 2:32 AM, December 14th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The OWifetress had been my friend for several years. Then she decided that she wanted my life. Double betrayal is really awful. I don't know that I could ever trust anyone again. Every time I talk to someone I find myself wondering if they will betray me down the line. Will it be one of my kids, someone from work, the former neighbor I ran into at the store? It really does put you on edge about other people.

Me: 46 BS Divorced
Him: 45 Married OW
DDay: 07/04/2008
Divorced: 06/15/2011
5 kids: IrishLass 27,IrishLad 25, IrishLass 23, IrishLad 21 and IrishLad 12
"You can't run from trouble..there ain't no place that far"

Posts: 1800 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: WA
♀ 31349
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 3:04 AM, December 14th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


"Sometimes people are mean, and sometimes things will be hard. One of your jobs is to try and make sure that that never makes you mean and hard, too." Cord Jefferson's Mom

Posts: 18278 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
♀ 37190
Member # 37190
Default  Posted: 5:54 AM, December 14th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I can't imagine a double betrayal. Watching my BFF deal with TWO double betrayals is soul crushing. While the dream disturbed you - in a way it was empowering. You had him leave. You took control. Have you spoke to him since you found out? Just curious if this is an outcome you didn't get (confronting and walking away feeling taller) or if you didn't and your subconscious needed it? Either way - hoping things get better.

If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck - it's not a fluffy pink unicorn squirting liquid rainbows, complete with pots of gold out of it's ass.

Posts: 769 | Registered: Oct 2012 | From: Nowhere pretty
♂ 30079
Member # 30079
Default  Posted: 10:42 AM, December 14th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

In your dream you should have throat punched him.

D-day: 5/18/10, lies and TT till (11/26/10).
No life should be passively relinquished due to the toxicity of others and taking steps to protect yourself may very well be the most important steps you will ever take.

Posts: 1920 | Registered: Nov 2010
♂ 38157
Member # 38157
Default  Posted: 3:51 PM, December 14th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Lol. Thanks for the throat punch comment, that made me laugh.

I'm embarrassed to say I have talked to him since d-day. First we met up and hashed it out in his car. A lot of him crying and apologizing. Then I did something really stupid. I tried going out with him a couple of times. We even all went out with our kids to an event. WTF was I thinking?!?! Anyway, I sent him a long email telling him that I couldn't see him around anymore. He replied that he would respect my wishes and so far I have seen compliance for NC between him and my ww and I haven't reeally spoke to him.

I have seen him a few times during the summer because he is/was dating my neighbor and would come over. The last time I saw him in a bar in town I ignored him but he said goodbye to me on the way out.

Sometimes I feel sorry for him. He obviously was screwed up by his divorce and started to covet my wife and my "perfect family".

I once considered sleeping with his wife to get revenge but there isn't enough beer in the world!!!! and besides I had a lot of crazy stupid thoughts but worked through them all.

D-Day 1: 22 Dec 2012
D-Day 2: 22 July 2014
Me: 40's WW: 40's Together 15 years
1st OM: ex-"Best Friend" of 30+ years

Posts: 224 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Toronto
Topic Posts: 7

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