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How to respond?

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 Lex71 (original poster member #41172) posted at 11:09 AM on Saturday, December 14th, 2013

I have short conversations with Wgf via text. Usually this is about the children and that's about it. Sometimes she will send something like 'I love you'. I find this really uncomfortable. I don't respond but I still feel bad.

Does any one else's WS/Wbf/Wgf do this??

Why?!

Me: 42 Her: xWGf 39
Not married only engaged.
Two great kids, both under 6
DDay #1: 18 Nov 2013
DDay #2: July 2011

posts: 88   ·   registered: Oct. 30th, 2013   ·   location: UK
id 6597443
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curiouswiz ( member #34405) posted at 11:18 AM on Saturday, December 14th, 2013

My stbxh did it yesterday...??? Huh? Instead of good bye he said I love you and hung up. Okay. Alrighty then. Of course you do. That love just fills me to the brim. I know he loves me so much that he lives with a heroin junky half our age.

Okay, I love you...first time I've heard that in years.

God bless us, everyone.

posts: 633   ·   registered: Jan. 4th, 2012   ·   location: Boston
id 6597445
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jb3199 ( member #27673) posted at 11:56 AM on Saturday, December 14th, 2013

Does any one else's WS/Wbf/Wgf do this??

Why?!

It is simply done to ease their own conscience. To help *prove* to themselves that they are not bad people.

And it is utter bullshit. Not saying that she doesn't love you, but the reason that she is saying it to you is for her peace of mind....not yours.

Sorry, friend.

[This message edited by jb3199 at 5:56 AM, December 14th (Saturday)]

BH-50s
WW-50s
2 boys
Married over 30yrs.

All work and no play has just cost me my wife--Gary PuckettD-Day(s): EnoughAccepting that I can/may end this marriage 7/2/14

posts: 4388   ·   registered: Feb. 21st, 2010   ·   location: northeast
id 6597452
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stillprettyupset ( member #41286) posted at 12:44 PM on Saturday, December 14th, 2013

I fought this mental battle with myself yesterday. I didn't respond at first either. Then, I thought about it. I do still love her despite all the horseshit and the pain she caused. So, I replied back "love you too.". It doesn't change my course of action so who cares. I don't hate her and I still have those feelings (always will) even if we divorce. So, worst case...I gave her the same confounded split answer she gives me and threw her brain into mass confusion. Best case, I am sharing my emotions and it may lead to a better relationship. Meh.

Me: 42
WW: 36
Latest D-day: Sept 2013
Reconciling? Limbo?

posts: 96   ·   registered: Nov. 8th, 2013   ·   location: NE Ohio
id 6597475
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nomistakeaboutit ( member #36857) posted at 12:44 PM on Saturday, December 14th, 2013

Sorry, friend,

I wouldn't read anything into it other than her having temporary pangs of guilt for treating you so poorly.

I read your profile. If you XWgf does love you, she has a very odd way of showing her love. Based on what she had to say about you when she didn't know you were listening (reading), she very clearly does not respect or appreciate you.

...hope you help those young kids have a fun Christmas Holiday!

Me: BH 65.........Her: WW 55
DD: 15.......DS: 12. (5 and 2 on DDay)
Married for six years.
DDay: 12-25-11 Divorced: 7-15-12
...................................

posts: 1306   ·   registered: Sep. 18th, 2012   ·   location: U.S.A.
id 6597477
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steadfast1973 ( member #24719) posted at 1:00 PM on Saturday, December 14th, 2013

She's a selfish bitch, who's been using you. He mouth may say I love you, but her actions don't.

Me- 42- BS Him- 38- WH D-day#1 5/25/09 multi EAs, likely PA, trickle truth, d-day#2 11/06/13 Prostitute Separated 1/2017
"I've seen your flag on the marble arch, our love is not a victory march, it's a cold and broken hallelujah"

posts: 2303   ·   registered: Jul. 7th, 2009   ·   location: Kentucky
id 6597485
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