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Newest Member: danisisu7 (61142)

User Topic: Advice, please? Any men perhaps?
♀ 41010
Member # 41010
Default  Posted: 7:26 AM, December 14th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sorry ladies. I am not trying to be sexist in any way. Please do give me any advice should you have any input to my dilemma ... and aldo please help me perhaps understand something which I can't seem to comprehend.

Unfortunately, got to give a brief history: Sorry!

WH has always battled to put weight on and just before my eldest DS was born, took steroids to help build and put weight on. Now this had been ongoing on and off for the last 5 years. He has also recently found a legitimate company who supply 'natural' ways to build weight (supplying hormones i.e testosterone etc).

So whilst WH was on annual leave we did a lot of HB. Then before I told him last week that he had to choose between his 'friend' and me, he told me he was having to give up being intimate for three months with no reasonable explanation. Only reason I got was slight mumblings about the 'natural' stuff he's been taking. Now this is where I'm really confused. Why would he have to give up for 3 months. My head is going all over the place with these thoughts...... STD's that I don't know about being my biggest worry! Anyone got any idea to please help me unfold this mystery that I just cannot fathom and is making me sick with worry!

Me:BS Married 13 years, together 23
Him: WH - EA/PA with now married

'If you come into my life, the door is open; If you leave my life, the door is open; Just one request, don't stand in the doorway and block the traffic"

Posts: 135 | Registered: Oct 2013
♂ 38122
Member # 38122
Default  Posted: 9:33 AM, December 14th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have no idea what that's about, but it doesn't matter what I say anyhow. Vague mumblings are just not good enough. You asked him a reasonable question, and have every right to expect a full, honest explanation.

If he's being vague, it's because he doesn't WANT to give you the full answer. Can you imagine him ever giving up sex for three months without a good reason?

And part of the plan for your marriage to possibly recover is that he has to be complete and honest about EVERYTHING. If he has an embarrassing problem with his dick, his cheating has totally disqualified him from any privacy he may think he should have.

He's hiding something.

Me: 1970
Two sons: 2000 and 2003
Cheating louse: What's her name again?

Married Aug/95
DDay Nov/12
Separated Mar/13
Finally divorced Jul/17

The best thing about hitting rock bottom is that everything after that looks fucking fabulous!

Posts: 3583 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Ontario, Canada
♂ 17484
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 9:38 AM, December 14th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What pass said ^^^
(see pass? It does matter )

Posts: 7268 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
♂ 28571
Member # 28571
Default  Posted: 11:34 AM, December 14th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What pass said.

Also, steroids to put on weight? That's like smoking meth to fix your teeth.

Tempus Fuckit.

- Ricky

Posts: 7849 | Registered: May 2010 | From: USA
♂ 16345
Member # 16345
Default  Posted: 1:03 PM, December 14th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

By weight. Do you mean muscle mass? Steroids would help for that.

As I understand it. Steroids dont actually build muscle mass. What they do is help your body heal faster so you can get into the gym and work out harder.

There are allot of protein shakes and other fitness supplements that would help him put on weight. Steroids seems like an odd choice.

3 months with no sex? I dont get that.

Testosterone medications when applied topically can have a bad effect on women that come into contact with that. If its shots and not topically applied then I dont see why he couldnt have sex.

Sex drive differs from person to person. I suppose just as it differs in women. Low testosterone can stunt sex drive so maybe thats why your husband is taking it? If he is going OFF testosterone medication he may drastically loose his sex drive for some time while his body adjusts. Maybe thats what he means by *cant have sex*?

He needs to tell you more.

Forgive and forget = Relive and regret.

Hope in reality is the worst of all evils because it prolongs the torments of man.
Friedrich Nietzsche

Posts: 3483 | Registered: Sep 2007
♂ 28571
Member # 28571
Default  Posted: 1:13 PM, December 14th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yeah, steroids will help you bulk out fast but unless they've been prescribed for a good reason they're likely to fuck you up from extended use. Impotence and man tits from anabolic steroids aren't really a long term investment IMO.

Tempus Fuckit.

- Ricky

Posts: 7849 | Registered: May 2010 | From: USA
♀ 11176
Member # 11176
Default  Posted: 1:49 PM, December 14th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'd be the one getting tested for STD's. It sounds like he's hiding something from you.

You know he lies.

Protect yourself and get tested.


BS: 58
WS: 53
Betrayed: 23 years
Affairs: 14 (2 lasted 3 months. Rest were ONS)
WS died: 16 May 2011
Do not stay in your hurt forever. Choose to move out of it.

Posts: 7511 | Registered: Jul 2006 | From: Wisconsin
♀ 32554
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 2:09 PM, December 14th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He's hiding something from you. Meaning, he's hiding important information from you. You need to insist he give you clear answers ASAP.

Me = BS
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - DIVORCED!

Posts: 10722 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
♀ 38116
Member # 38116
Default  Posted: 5:23 PM, December 14th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I agree that this sounds off.

While he is taking steroids, his sex drive would most likely increase due to the added testosterone.
Typically, after use is when he would possibly lose his drive so I'm not buying his story.

I'd lay low and do some digging.

BS - 32
DDay 1: July 2012 - EA with COW
DDay 2: March 2015; same COW

Fool me once, shame on you.
Fool me twice, pack your shit and get out.

Fool me twice, now what?!?!

Posts: 397 | Registered: Jan 2013
♀ 35053
Member # 35053
Default  Posted: 9:00 AM, December 15th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I would suspect his friend has HPV and he exposed himself to it. He wants 3 months to see if he is clear of it.

I would check my own self over, if I were you.

Posts: 478 | Registered: Mar 2012
Topic Posts: 10

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