I get it. Sometimes, even when we're getting what we want ( in depth reflection, healing, honesty etc..) from our spouse, it doesn't always incite good, happy feelings. It IS sad. Remember though that this is part of the healing process. You have to sometimes feel the full effect of the healing, even when it sucks, to progress to the next part...and that's a good thing.
Hearing his explanations (and I get the whole explanations not excuses thing) can bring on sad feelings. This is a really sucky part of healing, but can lead to resolution and a healthier future for him and the M. Doesn't help much now, I know .