It's been six months since we've had sex. Not that I would right now because he would need STD testing and all that....but I miss it. I miss the feel of us together and I miss the emotional connection.
Anyone else have this happen to them? How did you deal with your feelings about it?
And yes, I did crave intimacy. And i went for it. And, part of me kicks myself, because i did contract both Herpes and gonorrea... but... Also... I knew I wanted R, so at some point, i'd have gotten the HSV2, even with condom use and repressive therapy. I mean sure if R doesn't work, my choices are limited for any real future relationships... But I really think I am over that. This man is the LAST man I will ever be vulnerable to... So my options for a lasting future relationship are already limited... He's my third strike, so to speak.
[This message edited by steadfast1973 at 8:01 AM, December 14th (Saturday)]
I can relate to what you are saying. I am over a year out from DDay and our "intimate times" are pretty non-existent now. It was ok but lacking for the first 9 months after but now it is just not there.
My fWH is still wanting to, but I no longer feel special. I am unable to feel the connection that I need to feel in order to give myself to him completely. I guess I just don't see the point any more.
I have an appt with a new IC on Thursday so maybe she can help me work through this, but it is an awful way to live. I literally wish I could find even some of the feelings and/or the excitement he and his AP had just to be able to experience the butterflies again.
He never gave me the ILYBINILWY speech, but mine was the older people don't have sex as often, we just had sex last weeketc etc speeches. Makes it hard to think that he really DOES want to be with me now.
I wish you much luck on your journey, just know that you are not alone here.
I missed it for a while. I'm okay with it now. My concern is that I will turn 50 soon and I'm not sure how long I can keep looking good naked!
I do like being alone and how confident I have become, still there is so much I miss.