"You can survive this. Talk to others that have"

eyenight posted 12/14/2013 12:04 PM

I've been talking to this guy for over a month i was starting to lose hope that he would ask me on a.date then blam he asked. holy shit.
I've always been in the.drivers. seat and asking for the dates. So i.figured id play.it different.
I'm so nervous because he is really attractive. i have.no idea what to.go.do. on the date. Its been a long.time since I've.been on an.actual date.
Hopefully i don't blow it. he and.i have.a lot in common. but a lot of the guys. that ive gone.on dates with in the.past.have said.that they actually had a blast and.have said.that ive been the best first date. so i.know.I'm not. boring.but.good.lord .

lostandhopless posted 12/14/2013 13:53 PM

Slow down, breathe, and don't worry...Just be yourself, and have fun..

I have noticed in the very short time I have been here that all of the people here were already wonderful, but going through all of the bullshit they have if you read their post's you can see all of the positive changes in them..

So relax, have fun, be yourself, have a great time knowing that whatever man that has you in his life will be extremely lucky because you are a strong, caring, loving person that can handle of of the challenges that life brings us..

eyenight posted 12/15/2013 15:02 PM

Well i guess no date. notm even a sorry cant make it he poofed. i texted him this.morning finalizing plans.and times and meeting places. its going.on late.afternoon here still nothing. i already cancelled my sitter because i.have a feeling i will some.lame ass.excuse. as to why he didn't contact. me to.finalize. plans and that.he.can't. make it.
so that's it I'm throwing in the towel. I'm done making any plans.to.date. or met people or.anything. i know i am awesome and.people who can't see that are.totally blind. or they are not ready for a girl like me because I'm actually. real.

better4me posted 12/15/2013 17:35 PM

Sorry this happened eyenight. Some times people can be just plain rude.

so that's it I'm throwing in the towel. I'm done making any plans.to.date. or met people or.anything

Not everyone is going to act like this one person. It is just one person. Don't give up hope on everybody...

eyenight posted 12/15/2013 18:24 PM

This is twice in the last 3 months. different guys but still done with it. obviously they don't want someone who can actually keep a conversation and actually get to know a person.
so I'm done dating. I'm tired of getting my hopes up jump through hoops to get a sitter look forward to hanging out with adults for a few hours then get the cold shoulder. and cancel my sitter its ridiculous . Total.garbage. if I'm not feeling the date i simply tell them so. hey so and so after thinking about.it.for a whil. i don't think we are a match and i don't want to.waste your night when i. know nothing is going to come of.it its not fair to you. good.luck

better4me posted 12/15/2013 20:10 PM

obviously they don't want someone who can actually keep a conversation and actually get to know a person.

Gently here, you don't really know what they're going through or their reasons for acting like cads. This has happened a couple of times for me too...and it sucks, but I figure they've probably done me a favor by eliminating themselves from my dating pool early on in the process. It makes me mad for a day or two and then I move on. It sucks if I've been looking forward to meeting them and they poof. It sucks when they poof after I've met them, enjoyed their company and then hear nothing. Even then, I try to put the responsibility on their lack--not my lacking "something".

Pick yourself up, dust yourself off. Let this sucky stuff make you better, not bitter. And, yes, taking a break from dating makes sense...wait until you are sure you can have a thick enough skin to handle rejection. (((eyenight)))

InnerLight posted 12/15/2013 21:17 PM

I'm sorry this guy proofed. You deserve to be treated like a queen. Don't let this weeney little idiot determine that you will close yourself down and not date.

If you decide not to date because you love yourself and want to spend more time w yourself that's fine. What a good choice.

But don't deprive yourself of the possibility of a caring connection with a masculine man who knows how to treat a woman w respect because of some selfish person w his head up his ass. He doesn't have power over you. You have the power and you are an amazing, stong, caring, thoughtful, smart woman. You deserve the best!!!

((((En)))))

[This message edited by InnerLight at 9:19 PM, December 15th (Sunday)]

eyenight posted 12/16/2013 04:23 AM

I got the excuse. His parents came up for a surprise visit. he didn't have internet access. he doesn't want me to feel like he blew me off. but thats exactly what he did kind of
he didn't have my number. And didn't have the chat app on his phone then yeah believable. My guess is his sitter backed out. i don't know if i want to even try to go on a date with this guy now.

ProbableIceCream posted 12/16/2013 10:50 AM

He did blow you off, and then tried to make a lame excuse for it. Even if his parents had come for a surprise visit, he made a commitment to you to show up, which he certainly could have explained to his parents (especially since he wasn't prepared with any way to contact you).

PhoenixRisen posted 12/16/2013 23:03 PM

Im far from an expert here but imho I'd give him, or someone new, another shot: BUT something low stakes... Like a coffee in the afternoon or a quick drink after work. That way if the date poofs you're out sipping a latte for a pleasant 20 minutes. Not too bad.
Then you can "next" him and seriously move on to the next! Dating is like trying on shoes. If the first or second pair don't fit you aren't going to immediately walk out the store swearing you'll be barefoot from now on. Instead you keep scanning the isles for something else to catch your eye. And it usually always does :)

eyenight posted 12/17/2013 11:21 AM

That's what was planned. oh well. it shows what he was looking for.