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2 smart things I've done this wk

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loli posted 12/14/2013 15:30 PM

My D-day was only 7 wks ago, but I already feel I've started to very slowly move toward my own personal healing.

After a mighty struggle, my WH moved out one week ago with the terms of our separation in his hand which I established. I finally can breathe again in my own house! I still have my emotional roller coaster moments but...at least fleeting moments of inner peace are visible. Even my kids who are little said "mom, you're much better since dad left".

Second big accomplishment of the week is MC. I know many people here say you should hold off on MC until IC is well under way. IC is progressing for both of us but we felt MC provided a safe zone to communicate even if R is the furthest thing from MY mind. In MC, I am realizing just how mentally ill my WH is; there are so many loose screws in his psyche that it actually allows me to detach myself emotionally from the nightmare I am living and say "geez, this guy is SO not well".

If only for brief moments, I feel ok, then that's progress, right?

NotFixable posted 12/14/2013 16:27 PM

That is HUGE progress! You sound so strong loli! I'm having a really weak day, but reading your post made me realize that there is hope and I will get there. You've got this!

sunsetslost posted 12/14/2013 20:23 PM

Good job Lolita! Strength and peace to you.

Sorry you had a bad day NF. They get better. They have to

BAB61 posted 12/15/2013 00:18 AM

Stay strong Loli! Your D-day was 9 days after mine. I kicked him out .. no separation papers .. but he's GONE. Of course he's snuck back in at least 1x so far. I have an app't with a lawyer on Tues .. then I'll do the legal stuff to make it stick. He's not coming back. I opened my own checking and transferred 1/2 the money from our joint account a week ago. Keep doing the smart thing.

nomistakeaboutit posted 12/15/2013 05:36 AM

If only for brief moments, I feel ok, then that's progress, right?

Exactly right. You've taken back some control, and you're doing great.

Note: I understand your sentiment about MC providing a window through which you can see your H perhaps more clearly. I experienced that also. You may have already gained as much benefit from those sessions as you can, though.

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