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Lost15 posted 12/14/2013 22:28 PM

After reading flygirl123 karma story and others I have it seems to help. To realize karma will happen to stbxh and mow one day makes my day (it would be nice if it happened soon but it tends to take its sweet time). Since I don't have my own yet, I was just curious what was the greatest Karma to happen and how long did it take.

IrishLass518 posted 12/14/2013 23:59 PM

About 2 years after the D was final, I blocked them on FB and just stopped caring when they throw their fits. I have been NC for over 2 years but seeing their comments on other peoples posts that we both mutually knew was just masochistic after awhile.

After blocking them,I got much happier and things really started to take off in my life. So the best karma that has happened is that I survived and am healing.

BAB61 posted 12/15/2013 00:01 AM

Well, we're not far out from D-Day but the Karmic vibe is biting his ass. He has always prided himself on being 'a good man, a well-respected guy'. We've been Youth Group leaders at my church for a couple of years and they are about to ask him to resign!

[This message edited by BAB61 at 12:03 AM, December 15th (Sunday)]

persevere posted 12/15/2013 02:23 AM

Many of the true "karma" stories we may never know. But they are most likely there.

We are almost 3 years out from DDay and recently crazy man has been keeping "in touch" I think he truly thinks we can be friends at somet point. AYFKM??? My logical interpretation is that he's fucked up in his current life and is looking to me for a soft place to land.

Abbondad posted 12/15/2013 06:16 AM

Lost,

Like you (or maybe not like you) I find myself hungrily scanning SI looking for threads with the word "karma" in the subject. I am at the stage where I feel I MUST be assured that my STBX will end up regretting what she has done or most importantly--that her relationship with the AP will implode once the fantasy has worn off and reality has set in.

But I don't want to get stuck in this stage. Yes it does help when like you I read these karma stories. But I also know that karma, IF it ever happens, may very well happen unbeknownst to me. And I will sit and grind my teeth for years, thinking, Why, Why? Why is there no justice.

And of course there is the distinct possibility that my STBX has indeed found the true love of her life and they will live happily ever after.

My point is that I do not believe it is a good idea to place too much importance on karma; it slows our healing since it is just another manifestation of being stuck on HIM/HER. Like the other stages of this process, I want this to be a stage--the desire that "she gets hers." I want to move past it--without forcing it, for none of these stages can be forced--toward indifference. I want to be serenely indifferent. That is my holy grail.

But like you, I am far from indifference. I will be honest: I want her to suffer. I want payback. I want justice in its most painful form. I want her AP to kick her to the curb and for her to come literally crawling back to me so I can spurn her majestically.

But more than this, I want to move past this into my own life, where my concern 24/ is ME and my children.

We will get there.

BTW: I do not believe in karma. I just use it for shorthand. I believe in logic and statistics in this case. I believe a relationship borne from lies and deceit and with no shared history will likely implode; logic and statistics bear me out. And I believe that WS's are sick selfish people who have serious attachment disorders (at least mine does) and their AP's are either equally abnormal and selfish. A relationship between two such individuals is extremely likely to fall apart; it cannot be sustained forever.

But again, my happiness must eventually not be contingent upon their unhappiness.

I hope I haven't projected myself onto your thread too much. My original intent was simply to say "I am right there with you." Didn't mean to get preachy :-)

[This message edited by Abbondad at 6:17 AM, December 15th (Sunday)]

justjim posted 12/15/2013 06:56 AM

I believe a relationship borne from lies and deceit and with no shared history will likely implode; logic and statistics bear me out. And I believe that WS's are sick selfish people who have serious attachment disorders (at least mine does) and their AP's are either equally abnormal and selfish. A relationship between two such individuals is extremely likely to fall apart; it cannot be sustained forever.

You have no idea how much comfort that I derived from this.

Thefly559 posted 12/15/2013 07:10 AM

Abbondad said a mouthful. Great advice , I too pray for karma to come around but I find myself going backwards when I do. I need to move on with or without karma and let this story play out. We all do.

flygirl123 posted 12/15/2013 07:21 AM

Amen, to what you said Abondad. Indifference is a wonderful place to be...and the ultimate place to strive for.

I am well within reach of indifference. He no longer consumed my every thought, and I am at the point where I could care less what they do to each other...however...I have no positive things to say about either one of them. Not really negative...just nothing. Because that is what they are...nothing.

But I must admit, that when I find out that his anger, bad choices and resentment are drowning them...I still do get a little giddy.

Only because I love knowing that "what goes around, comes around" and I need to believe in some universal justice.

SBB posted 12/15/2013 08:08 AM

^^AD, so true - all of it friend. My happiness is no longer tied to his happiness or unhappiness.

I want her AP to kick her to the curb and for her to come literally crawling back to me so I can spurn her majestically.

My give-a-fuck is busted now but before I reached this point I used to have this fantasy of him asking me for another chance and I respond in song:

"Girl I refuse, you must have me confused with some other guy. Your bridges are burned, now its your turn... to cry. Cry me a riveeeeer, cry me a riiiiiveeeeer.... cry me, cry me".

Made all the more funny because I am tone deaf and can't sing for shit. But in my head I sound like Adele. I will admit I do still grin my face off whenever I hear any JT song.

IrishLass518 posted 12/15/2013 08:32 AM

AD, is so right. I don't know if it is karma or just the logical events playing out, I do know that I went through all of the pain and grief and my life is rebuilding. xWH ran straight to OW, married her less than one year after divorce, she babysits him at work, he writes me letters every 6 months trying to hurt me and break me down. He has lost relationships with his friends, his mom, his brother and his children. He cannot have a phone conversation without it being on speakerphone and she responds for him.

I don't know if this is karma, I can tell you that I saw this writing on the wall.

[This message edited by IrishLass518 at 8:35 AM, December 15th (Sunday)]

Snapdragon posted 12/15/2013 09:51 AM

My ex lost his daughter. Oh, she is alive and well. But she will have absolutely NOTHING to do with him. At this time he doesn't know where she lives, if she is married or not, or even if he has grandchildren or not.

Sad. So very, very sad.

Lostandpregnant posted 12/15/2013 09:54 AM

I want him to suffer like I've suffered. I want her to as well.

But they never will. Know why? Because they aren't capable of feeling anything. If they were, they couldn't have done this.
They will never feel the pain I am feeling.

The best I can hope for is that he thinks of the twins someday and has to face the fact that he has children out there that don't know him and never will..that it hits him, right in his soul someday, and eats him alive.

But I know that will never happen.

So I guess my comfort comes from knowing that while he has a disgusting slag by his side..*I* have the children..and I win.

anewday78 posted 12/15/2013 10:33 AM

I actually have a HILARIOUS one I've been meaning to share for a while now. A couple of years ago I was seeing a guy - it wasn't all that serious but we really liked each other a lot. He had just got out of a relationship with somebody a lot younger and remained friends with his ex's friends who lived in a neighboring city. One morning we woke up and were discussing our respective plans for that evening. I had a birthday dinner/nightclub hopping thing that night with a group of friends and he told me that a group of his ex's friends were coming into town to go nightclub hopping. Through our discussion, we realized that we'd be at some of the same places that evening, so we agreed to meet up and hang out. Well, just for some background, weeks leading up to this, I started catching on that one of the friends that was visiting this particular night had a crush on this guy I was seeing. I knew just by seeing the Facebook interactions between the two of them and how this "friend" (an ugly little troll-looking thing) would react to me anytime I chimed in on Facebook. Anyway back to the night in question - I get to the first bar and as I'm entering, I see a group of friends I haven't seen in a while, so I stop to talk to them. Now, I'm standing with my side to the entrance so I'm the first person you'd see if you're exciting the bar... there's no way you WOULDN'T see me if you're coming out the door. As I'm standing there talking, I notice out of the corner of my eye the guy I'm seeing walking out with his little entourage following him. As soon as he saw me standing there, he put his head down and darted towards the parking lot with his entourage in tow! I was floored! He purposely avoided me. Red flags! So when I got in the bar, I told my friend about what happened and he told me I should send him a text telling him I'm here and act like I didn't see him just to see what he said. So I did and he simply responded thattheywere at the next bar - never mentioning that he saw me (and he totally saw me!) Get to the next bar and see him, and the same thing happened - he put his head down and acted like he didn't see me but this time, the little troll was hanging all over him! Well, I got good and drunk and ended up coming face to face with him. I acted cool as a cucumber and while we were talking, the little troll was standing there with a smug look on his face! Then, out of nowhere, the troll looked at me with his smug smile and walked over to the guy I was seeing, put his arms around him and started kissing him while staring at me the entire time! I couldn't believe what was happening! My friend ended up intervening by whisking me away. The next day, the guy I was seeing was texting me and I just didn't respond. I stopped talking to him completely for 9 months - no explanation... he knew why!
That was two years ago.
More background - I am a HUGE Judge Judy fan. I dvr her show everyday and she is my Idol! About two months ago, I was getting dinner ready in the kitchen and had that day's episode of Judge Judy playing in the next room. She was particularly relentless that day and I was getting a kick out of hearing her tear into the defendant. Screaming at him! Then, she said, "judgement for the plaintiff in the amount of $4, 000. Go back to [insert name of neighboring city]!" I HAD to go rewind it because the litigants were from so close to my home.When I entered the room, much to my delight, my idol judge judy was in fact tearing into THE TROLL that antagonized me two years earlier! She embarrassed THE FUCK OUT OF HIM! It was so ironic and it made me have faith that karma truly DOES exist - sometimes you just have to wait for it. I was so pleasantly surprised that I HAD to take a video of her reaming him out and send it to the guy I was seeing two years ago (who is now a friend once again). He got a kick out of it too!

anewday78 posted 12/15/2013 10:35 AM

P.S. I wish I could share the video I took off judge j tearing into him - I uploaded it to YouTube - but it would totally blow my anonymity here out of the water! It's freaking hilarious though!

Lostandpregnant posted 12/15/2013 10:38 AM

Oh my god, that story is epic.
I love Judge Judy..that is just so awesome.

dmari posted 12/15/2013 10:49 AM

I was just curious what was the greatest Karma to happen and how long did it take.
The greatest Karma is what YOU make of your life after your life explodes. Every moment you think of YOU first instead of your WS. Every time you process all the painful emotions and not sweep them under the rug. When shit happens to your WS ~ AND IT MOST CERTAINLY WILL ~ you will giggle and then think "eh. whatevers" and continue with your badass life!

So my karma story is I worked my ass off to heal and rebuild my life so that I could support my kids as they grieved the family they once had and the "father" they once had. The kids and I have the BEST TIMES and we are happy and we live in a peaceful home. We laugh. We make a mess. We are healing. We are rebuilding. I am back in graduate school after being out of school for 18 years. With my degree, I will be able to provide for them long term (due to their needs). I rediscovered friendships and made many new friends. I am happy and I am blessed and I am at peace. I love my life!

So far, my stbx has lost his children ~ they don't have any contact with him. Therefore, he is missing out on being in the lives of THE greatest kids! He has burned every significant family relationship. Except one sister who he used to not like but is back in contact with her because she can loan him money. When he was with me, he had no debt. Just one year since he walked out, he is $25,000 in debt. Not including the $25,000 he owes me. He doesn't have his gun and badge so is working a desk job. He tried to screw me over with the IRS and now HE is the one who will have to refile and pay more plus fines (he already paid over $1000 to federal) And I KNOW this isn't the end of his karma. And I seriously don't give a fuck.

And for the girlfriend, her karma is SHE HAS HIM!!

Softcentre posted 12/15/2013 10:51 AM

I'm not a believer in karma at all (but do enjoy the stories!). But I do believe our WS are broken people and will continue making poor choices with poor consequences for themselves.

(I also believe that the person they have harmed the most, is actually themselves, to become a person that can do it...how much must you hate yourself, deep down? How much have you changed yourself for the worse by becoming a WS?)

The only way for them to stop being broken and making rotten choices, is if they choose to face themselves and put the hard work into changing and making better choices.

I'm not waiting for karma to hit Happy Pants (or even Slappy Knickers). I know that when Happy Pants is heavy into his wayward thinking, he loses track of his finances, he resents people, he cheats. And I'm no longer around to blame. Unless he gets a sudden epiphany, he'll keep doing all that and eventually it will bite him on his spotty arse. And it will all be on him.

Meanwhile, I may be living with very little, moneywise, I may have to try and find a career after being out of regular work for over a decade. But I have our children, I have self respect, I have integrity and I have worked hard on my own brokenness and will continue to do so, so that I make better choices and become the best that I can be.

It doesn't matter whether he is always wealthy and I am always poor. My life is rich.

honesttoafault posted 12/15/2013 11:32 AM

I agree that we have to work on our own Karma. But sometimes when we are going through our own pain and we look at the xWS it SEEMS that they they are happy and not suffering. The WS has handed us so much BS and gaslighting, we almost start to believe that they are soooooo happy. When we discover that life continues with its ups and downs with everyone, it is freeing.

When xWH#1 left, I was devastated. I put up with all his drinking for so many years and he left me. I was left holding the bag and it seemed he was happy and carefree. I started idealizing him and our M missing what I had.

Years later, he married a nice lady (that had nothing to do with us) again I thought he was lucky. Then I started to hear from older DS that he was still drinking, was having fights with her, she was thinking of leaving, etc. It made me finally realize that he never changed, and I was the lucky one to escaped his alcoholism.

That was the karma.

anewday78 posted 12/15/2013 11:47 AM

Oh my god, that story is epic.I love Judge Judy..that is just so awesome.
I think so too! The irony of it all was what truly made me feel vindicated and renewed my faith in karma - here one of my idols is exacting revenge for me in front of 10 million viewers! It was surreal! Honestly, the point is, sometimes we may never see karma happening. What if I want a judge j fan? What if I missed that episode - both completely plausible scenarios. I would have missed him getting humiliated on national tv. The stars just happened to align and I was given the gift of witnessing justice literally being served.

Lostandpregnant posted 12/15/2013 12:09 PM

Totally. The universe has a sense of humour.

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