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Spelljean (original poster member #35624) posted at 1:39 AM on Monday, December 16th, 2013
Well I'm at least a year or two from being ready to date. D isn't final yet and still in major recovery mode....
But I feel I need a make-over for Me. So bored with the usual. Hate my shoes, my dull brown purse, my bobbed hair. (I love bobs, just been working this look forever)
Tired of demure. Want something new and sexy. Tastefully sexy.
Pointy toed pumps maybe? Or a little color in my wardrobe.
Any women out there do a self make-over in this process?
WH: 41
me: BS, 45
Together 18 1/2 years, married 17
DDAY 8/2/12
OW: EA- friend of 4 months
Status: separated
better4me ( member #30341) posted at 2:03 AM on Monday, December 16th, 2013
yes, yes, yes. I started working out more, kept hair appointments every 6 weeks, experimented with new color and new styles of hair. Bought new underwear that was sexy for me! It is fun to dress and look attractive just for yourself!
DDay 11/17/2010 BW:58
Happily remarried!
Williesmom ( member #22870) posted at 2:13 AM on Monday, December 16th, 2013
Yes, I started wearing different items. Adding more color to my wardrobe. My "thing" appears to be shoes. People that I work with make a point to check out my shoes on a daily basis.
You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright
inconnu ( member #24518) posted at 2:51 AM on Monday, December 16th, 2013
During my divorce, I embraced both my inner redhead and my suppressed shoe lust. So now I'm a sassy redhead who has lots of fun shoes in her closet.
There is no joy without gratitude. - Brené Brown
cmego ( member #30346) posted at 3:31 AM on Monday, December 16th, 2013
I cut my hair off. I had the bob thing, and a new hair stylist suggested a cute but sassy look…and I went with it! Think "rocker/pixie". I've had it a few years now and trying to grow it out now, but it was great to have a completely new "look".
At the time, I wanted the short hair to hold guys back. I thought no guys like short hair on women. I was wrong.
I lost weight and try really hard to remember to wear clothes that actually FIT me and show off my assets. I dress cute and FOR ME.
I think a new hairstyle does wonders for women
me...BS, 46 years old.
Divorced
Spelljean (original poster member #35624) posted at 3:40 AM on Monday, December 16th, 2013
Great idea..I just realized how long its been since I bought any new underwear. (!)
Red hair is something I want to go back to. I was born a redhead, it just naturally darkened throughout the years.
Desperate to go pretty short on the hair too.
WH: 41
me: BS, 45
Together 18 1/2 years, married 17
DDAY 8/2/12
OW: EA- friend of 4 months
Status: separated
persevere ( member #31468) posted at 3:56 AM on Monday, December 16th, 2013
I'm currently working on a makeup re-do - well at least contemplating and researching it. I'm 43 now, and I'm just not happy with my makeup anymore. I'm a makeup girl - not into the natural no makeup thing but at 40+ you need to adjust. Any suggestions are appreciated.
DDay:2011
Status: D 2011
Remarried to a kind and wonderful man - 2017
Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron
It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K.
seekingright2013 ( member #37991) posted at 4:23 AM on Monday, December 16th, 2013
Check out Christopher Hopkins on you tube -- he has the most amazing makeover videos. SO inspiring. He's got a book too called 'staging your comeback'. I didn't get as much out of the book but I think it's because I didn't feel like doing all the assessment exercises
I checked it out of the library, might get it again when I'm feeling a little more motivated.
The videos are really fun and omg some of the makeovers are incredible.
“I tramp a perpetual journey.”
― Walt Whitman, Song of Myself
Sad in AZ ( member #24239) posted at 4:36 AM on Monday, December 16th, 2013
Go easy with the 'new hair' but cut loose with everything else. Hair takes a while to grow back, but you can adjust your makeup and clothes at any point.
Be brutally honest in deciding what style(s) look good on you, then go to town with it. Go to a department store or a place like Sephora and get a makeover. Enjoy yourself!
You are important and you matter. Your feelings matter. Your voice matters. Your story matters. Your life matters. Always.
Me: FBS (no longer betrayed nor a spouse)-63
D-day: 2007 (two years before finding SI)
S: 6/2010; D: 3/2011
Spelljean (original poster member #35624) posted at 6:24 AM on Monday, December 16th, 2013
Great suggestions.
I too am tired of my make up routine. (Along with everything else!)
I did consider.a department store makeover if just for new application techniques. Whatever I am using I think is aging me.
WH: 41
me: BS, 45
Together 18 1/2 years, married 17
DDAY 8/2/12
OW: EA- friend of 4 months
Status: separated
Blackhair ( member #39451) posted at 7:14 AM on Monday, December 16th, 2013
Nice topic, I love to join for sure.
I am in my late forties, but I do looks younger than my age, I believe. Hehe
What I did to look pretty? New hair cut, I prefer nature looking so simply some nice layer, I am not a heavy make up person, but a bit foundation is all I do. Nice trimmed eye brows.
But I did Botox, just the basic one. I love it! I know some ladies won't agree with this one, believe me I used to think the same way.
Bought a brand name perfume for Xmas. -:)
M: 10 years both late 40s.
3 Children
DDay: April 2013
Legally separated on Oct 2013.
I am determined to fly even with broken wings and a broken heart!
Softcentre ( member #39166) posted at 7:24 AM on Monday, December 16th, 2013
I've grown my hair long and love it! And in the new year I'm going to get some lowlights in my hair, actually embracing my dark locks for the first time in years (WH made sure I knew he preferred redheads, I didn't dye, but felt like my natural looks weren't good enough)
My weight loss has allowed me to start wearing more fashionable clothes (skinny jeans!), and I've got some lovely shoes - I can now walk in stilettos.
I went to a wedding and saw a bunch of people I hadn't seen for a couple of years. They were shocked (in a good way) at how I look now. One of the boys summed it up saying "Umm, wow you look...WELL!...you look 10 years younger" (He wasn't coming onto me, he just has no filter between his brain and his mouth
)
I think a lot of it is embracing my own wants/needs that were suppressed for so long with WH's A negativity/selfishness. Playing with my looks is part of figuring out who I am.
I realise that with WH, I went from confident, fit and sexy, to low self-esteem, unfit and frumpy. Now that he's gone I'm getting 'me' back. Still working on the confidence - that really took a beating.
Me: BW
Him: XWH
2 Children
Finally reached indifference & looking forward to my new beginning
Newlease ( member #7767) posted at 4:00 PM on Monday, December 16th, 2013
My XWH liked me to dress VERY conservatively. He liked me in short hair. I had put myself last on the list for anything when we were raising our family.
I grew my hair out in long layers, got professional coloring done, lost weight on the I diet, bought clothes that were figure flattering (not overly sexy), and I got tons of compliments too. People told me I looked younger and my XWH looked old. It was a great pick me up!
NL
Even if you can't control the world around you, you are still the master of your own soul.
StillLivin ( member #40229) posted at 7:01 PM on Monday, December 16th, 2013
Ohhhh, yes yes yes.
I got a new hairstyle, new color, highlights. My hair is jet blue/black. My STBXH loved my natural hair.
Pfffft. I was bored with it.
I did some chemical peels to brighten my skin color and pull the healthy skin underneath out.
The infideltity diet meant I had NO clothes that fit. So I went clothes shopping. My shoes were so big cuz my feet lost weight too! I went shoes and boots shopping, see my other posts.
I get my mani pedi's on a regular now.
I wear contacts instead of glasses on the weekends. I put on make up.
I enjoy myself and my new look.
I'm letting my hair grow long again. It's been short for a few years now.
I want to lose even more weight, and I'm still working out when I can make time.
"Bitch please a good man can't be stolen." ROFLMAO - SBB: 7/2/2014
Rebreather ( member #30817) posted at 7:17 PM on Monday, December 16th, 2013
http://www.graspingforobjectivity.com/2012/07/gap.html
Read this blog then go jeans shopping!
Me BS
Him WH
2 ddays in '07
Rec'd.
"The cure for the pain, is the pain." -Rumi
BrokenDaisy ( member #37063) posted at 7:50 PM on Monday, December 16th, 2013
I went from being blonde my whole life (natural blonde but got darker as I aged so I highlighted to keep it up) to a dark brunette. Still getting used to it but it feels more me now. I'm not the carefree blonde I used to be so I don't feel comfortable with it anymore. New me, new hair.
Me xBW, him SA NPD WxH
1 son: sole legal custody to me and supervised visitation to xwh.
No longer broken
DDay 01/2012
10/2013 Finally Divorced!!
nutmegkitty ( member #33882) posted at 9:46 PM on Monday, December 16th, 2013
Spelljean, is there a Sephora near you? They can advise you what products would be good for you, make up wise, and show you how to apply them too.
I grew my hair long and got contacts. I did the Sephora thing and got cool make up. I bought tons of clothe and shoes and boots too
Me - happy!
2 DDs
Very happily divorced from an NPD since 2013.
20Hopeful16 ( member #40487) posted at 11:03 PM on Monday, December 16th, 2013
Apparently losing 200+ pounds looks good on me (the 25 off my own body and the rest that was WH) because I have never had so many compliments... not just from my close friends (who could just be trying to make me feel better) but from random acquaintances as well. :)
I haven't really done much with my hair except actually do it... blow dry and style instead of just up in a pony. I've been applying make-up regularly. I went shopping in October with friends and bought fall/winter clothes two sizes smaller than what I had been wearing.
Craziest thing I've done? I've always wanted to get waxed... down there. So I finally did it. I LOVE it!
Me: BS (39)
Three Beautiful Children 12,9,5
DD: 8/24/13
Heading for divorce
Moving on with life
gardenparty ( member #12050) posted at 1:42 AM on Tuesday, December 17th, 2013
I was very lucky after my divorce. I have 2 daughters, 1 worked at Le Chateau and 1 at Aldo. I was able to update my wardrobe and shoes for a very minimal price. I was like other mothers here who never bought stuff for myself. Wore the same winter coat for 12 years, used to buy the 3 packs of men's sleeved undershirts to wear with my jeans and never had my hair done. Although I still don't experiment with colour (too chicken), my hair is cut every 6 weeks and sometimes I stop off on my way home from work on Fridays and get it styled for the weekend. I wish I hadn't put myself last for all those years but I am making up for it now.
Spelljean (original poster member #35624) posted at 2:21 AM on Tuesday, December 17th, 2013
Definitely inspired!
Gonna try Sephora....
WH: 41
me: BS, 45
Together 18 1/2 years, married 17
DDAY 8/2/12
OW: EA- friend of 4 months
Status: separated
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