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FieldsOfLavender posted 12/16/2013 15:14 PM

Homewrecker whore tagged my STBX on facebook. It showed a photo of him from when he was about 20 years old. I clicked on her name in FB and see that she uploaded a pink image saying "Our baby girl is coming" and went to some Tweets. I clicked on old tweets and it showed the sonogram. One of the tweets said, "enjoying breakfast on lazy Sunday with (STBX)." Other than close friends, most acquaintances don't even know that we are separated and this is the way the news is going to get out.

Sometimes, I can't believe this is happening to me. I wonder to my counselor that I didn't know he hated me this much. She replied maybe he's only thinking of himself.

StillLivin posted 12/16/2013 15:48 PM

Ouch. I cannot adequately express how sorry I am for you. This shit sandwhich they give us really sucks.
He is a complete dirtbag for allowing that post to go out. Sheesh, you two aren't even D. I hope the kid turns out to be the demon child of Satan and keeps them both up for nights and days on end with screaming, crapping, and throwing up!
ETA: You seriuosly need to block both her and him. It only causes more pain. Honestly, you have to feel sorry for any child that comes into the world with two selfish asswholes for parents.

[This message edited by StillLivin at 5:25 PM, December 16th (Monday)]

betrayed13yrs posted 12/16/2013 16:00 PM

I know exactly how you feel. My STBX and his whore's baby girl is due in ten days. He still denies ever having cheated on me and says that she is engaged and they just talk sports. Ya ok! Too bad when you goggle their names together their bump registry pops up with both of their names and the due date. They are also registered at BabysRUs and BuyBuyBaby. Of course, he says that must have been a mistake. I have been living the lie for years so the affair itself doesn't bother me anymore, other that the whore being around my children (which he denies), but I say their maternity pic on FB and its soooo beautiful! It did make me cry seeing how in love they look. Of course it's all fake, well I'm sure she loves him, but he cheats on she and I with women that he meets on Match and god knows where else. I used to blame myself and think that I wasn't a hot or interesting enough wife for my husband to sway and not love me like he should. But you know what, I'm awesome and people enjoy my company. Yes I could be in better shape and have bigger tatas, but I'm a good person dammit! And yes, even douche bag tries to get me to take him back and tells me daily how much he loves me, YUCK!!! ..........I am not as strong as that sounds. I am still very depressed, and we aren't even D yet. I filed August 30th. I just want it to be over and done with and for my five year old daughter and eleven month old son not to have to go through all of this shit.

nowiknow23 posted 12/16/2013 16:12 PM

I'm sorry, lavender. I'm sure that was difficult to see.

Gently, honey? Please read the quote in my tagline. You "indavertently" saw the sonogram because you looked at FB. And then followed to Twitter. And then looked at old tweets...

Please stop looking. Please? You are asking for more pain with every click. Block them. Block it all. ((((lavender))))

solus sto posted 12/16/2013 16:40 PM

With all due respect, following links to twitter isn't inadvertent. Really, checking your stbx's FB is not inadvertent. You're watching them---and saw something that hurt.

For that, I am sorry.

But it was 100% preventable--and 0% inadvertent.

Block him, and you will never see things like this again.

Gr8Lady posted 12/16/2013 17:26 PM

Heartbreaking

Just beyond words........

Maybe you should block FB access temporarily . That may be your best defense during the holiday season.

Hugs to you...

damncutekitty posted 12/16/2013 17:47 PM

Really you should just save yourself the heartache and block them both on all forms of social media.

lifestoshort posted 12/16/2013 18:08 PM

i think this woman probably needs to see more to let the fog clear. I know I had to have proof for yrs till it sunk in that my ex was the way he was. OR I would have gone back yet again.

although I do agree after a bit, she needs to walk away but I understand why she looked. that WAS her husband whom she loved dearly.

FieldsOfLavender posted 12/16/2013 18:32 PM

You "indavertently" saw the sonogram because you looked at FB. And then followed to Twitter.

I don't use Twitter and not familiar with it, so I was just expecting to see text, not an image.

FieldsOfLavender posted 12/16/2013 18:33 PM

Really, checking your stbx's FB is not inadvertent.

Homewrecker whore tagged stbx and it popped up on my FB page. I didn't go to STBX's FB page.

roughroadahead posted 12/16/2013 18:45 PM

Still though, if stbx was not a fb friend of yours, his tags would not show up on your feed. Block him, and this doesn't happen again. It's really not worth it. XH and I do not generally argue or have a contentious relationship, but he has long since been blocked on fb. I figured the pictures of the two of them, the "in a relationship" status change would be coming quickly and I really don't need to see that. There are plenty of other ways to communicate when I have to.

Heal&Deal posted 12/16/2013 18:57 PM

Here is why to block them both: about 4 months ago OW popped up on my people you may know feed. She was holding a baby. She and XH are no longer together (or so I am told). I thought, "Wow, that was fast," as I began clicking. Apparently, when I got to her page, I inadvertently friend requested her. She called XH and asked what the deal was. Humiliating!!! XH had been blocked for quite a while, but OW and I apparently have some "friends" in common.

LIke any good techie, I love the availability of the cyber stalk, but I am telling you, from experience, no information gain is worth this kind of thing happening to you.

And...likely your counselor is right, he is thinking of himself. Further, OW, who is pregnant by a known cheater and woman abuser, is effectively announcing to society at large that her child was created during an affair. OW is effectively outing STBXWH as a cheater. What morons.

Open a new tab and block them. It is like jumping off the high dive. Once you do it, you sort of wonder why it took you so long.

gypsybird87 posted 12/16/2013 19:04 PM

((fieldsoflavender))

I'm so sorry. I know how much that hurts, not the baby part because my XWH is "fixed", but getting blindsided with something you didn't expect, yet again.

I don't use Twitter and not familiar with it, so I was just expecting to see text, not an image.

A similar thing happened to me when I went to XWH's LinkedIn page. I don't know why I was driven to look, it was just one of those stupid urges. I knew he kept a profile pic on it and thought there might be a new one... but I was NOT expecting a cozy couple pic of him with OW. Like you I was prepared for one thing, and got slammed with something unexpected and far more hurtful.

That was the day I finally realized what "NC" really means. And looking at pages, following threads, any of that is breaking NC. The fact that it's one-sided and your ex doesn't know its happening is irrelevant. Any time you open the door between his life and yours, you are also opening yourself up to be hurt again.

NC = no new hurts!

Please protect yourself from this unnecessary pain. Block, block, block. At the very least, unfriend. I have XWH, OW, and OW's daughter all blocked. Not so much to prevent them from looking at me, but to prevent ME from looking at THEM.

As far as the news getting out this way.... He's making himself look like an ass. He's letting OW make him look like an ass. Their actions do not reflect on you, so please don't worry about that. Anyone worth caring about in your life is going to see this crap for what it is. They will think less of HIM, not of you.

You deserve so much better than this.

((fieldsoflavender))

FieldsOfLavender posted 12/16/2013 19:19 PM

STBX and I have a school-aged child together. Since home wrecker whore posts photos on the internet, it occurred to me recently that I don't want home wrecker whore posting pics of my child and tagging her online. From this point, I feel like I need to keep "friended" to fucking asshole to monitor it.

Violated posted 12/16/2013 23:46 PM

Hugs and strength , I can't imagine....

careerlady posted 12/17/2013 01:28 AM

(((FieldsofLavender)))
Even if you stay friends to monitor at some point you will have ti stop clicking on links and postings that clearly have nothing to do with your child. You will keep ripping off the scab and bleeding