Sometimes, I can't believe this is happening to me. I wonder to my counselor that I didn't know he hated me this much. She replied maybe he's only thinking of himself.
[This message edited by StillLivin at 5:25 PM, December 16th (Monday)]
Gently, honey? Please read the quote in my tagline. You "indavertently" saw the sonogram because you looked at FB. And then followed to Twitter. And then looked at old tweets...
Please stop looking. Please? You are asking for more pain with every click. Block them. Block it all. ((((lavender))))
This is it. The darkest day. The blackest hour. Chin up, shoulders back. Let's see what we're made of, you and I.
- The Doctor
For that, I am sorry.
But it was 100% preventable--and 0% inadvertent.
Block him, and you will never see things like this again.
Just beyond words........
Maybe you should block FB access temporarily . That may be your best defense during the holiday season.
Hugs to you...
friends wife lasting 10 years. TT over a
year a year. Now his health is declining,
among the lack of communication.
although I do agree after a bit, she needs to walk away but I understand why she looked. that WAS her husband whom she loved dearly.
You "indavertently" saw the sonogram because you looked at FB. And then followed to Twitter.
I don't use Twitter and not familiar with it, so I was just expecting to see text, not an image.
Really, checking your stbx's FB is not inadvertent.
Homewrecker whore tagged stbx and it popped up on my FB page. I didn't go to STBX's FB page.
LIke any good techie, I love the availability of the cyber stalk, but I am telling you, from experience, no information gain is worth this kind of thing happening to you.
And...likely your counselor is right, he is thinking of himself. Further, OW, who is pregnant by a known cheater and woman abuser, is effectively announcing to society at large that her child was created during an affair. OW is effectively outing STBXWH as a cheater. What morons.
Open a new tab and block them. It is like jumping off the high dive. Once you do it, you sort of wonder why it took you so long.
I'm so sorry. I know how much that hurts, not the baby part because my XWH is "fixed", but getting blindsided with something you didn't expect, yet again.
A similar thing happened to me when I went to XWH's LinkedIn page. I don't know why I was driven to look, it was just one of those stupid urges. I knew he kept a profile pic on it and thought there might be a new one... but I was NOT expecting a cozy couple pic of him with OW. Like you I was prepared for one thing, and got slammed with something unexpected and far more hurtful.
That was the day I finally realized what "NC" really means. And looking at pages, following threads, any of that is breaking NC. The fact that it's one-sided and your ex doesn't know its happening is irrelevant. Any time you open the door between his life and yours, you are also opening yourself up to be hurt again.
NC = no new hurts!
Please protect yourself from this unnecessary pain. Block, block, block. At the very least, unfriend. I have XWH, OW, and OW's daughter all blocked. Not so much to prevent them from looking at me, but to prevent ME from looking at THEM.
As far as the news getting out this way.... He's making himself look like an ass. He's letting OW make him look like an ass. Their actions do not reflect on you, so please don't worry about that. Anyone worth caring about in your life is going to see this crap for what it is. They will think less of HIM, not of you.
You deserve so much better than this.
Follow your heart, but take your brain with you. ~ Alfred Adler
Letting go of the outcome is about the most empowering thing you can do for yourself. ~ LosferWords