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Newest Member: HisSweetness (61833)

User Topic: Consequences
♀ 40963
Member # 40963
Stop  Posted: 6:48 PM, December 16th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Well, it happened. I guess it was inevitable.

At my performance review, my job performance was praised. I thought all was well. Until the following phrase came out of my boss's mouth, "As a professional, I thought you would want to know that several people have come to me saying that you and "Bob" spend a lot of time together. Do with that information what you will. But I thought you should know that is the perception."

Holy Shit.

I work with the AP and all of our contact has been strictly professional for some time. I am just mortified. I have really reflected on my interactions, and sincerely do not see a personal element. This was probably something observed some time ago. So as far as changing my behavior, I don't think there is anything I can do.

My company does not have a fraternizing policy (coworkers have dated and married), so if a manager wants someone gone, they usually pick apart a worker's performance to dismiss them that way. Luckily, she is happy with my work, and does not seem to taking steps in that direction.

I just want to crawl under a rock. I am so so sorry that the fall out from this is continuing to hit my BH. He was great about listening to this tonight, and he had some great professional advise. I feel amazed and humbled by his support.

Other than hold my head up, and go do a damn to job...I don't know what else to do.

The consequences are never-ending.

Posts: 118 | Registered: Oct 2013
♀ 36408
Member # 36408
Default  Posted: 6:55 PM, December 16th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


[This message edited by SI Staff at 7:39 PM, December 16th (Monday)]

Me BS 54
WH 55
Married 34 years
2 grown sons
2 PA ? EA's didn't develop due to discovery

Posts: 85 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: midwest USA
♀ 39276
Member # 39276
Default  Posted: 8:21 PM, December 16th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

breakingpoint -

Could you PM me? I also work with my AP and need some advice on how to handle things at work. I would REALLY appreciate hearing what you have to say.

I know that things are awkward at work for me. We went from being "good friends" to me giving him the cold shoulder and ignoring him completely. So, yes it's been difficult, especially since he is extremely immature and likes to throw tantrums every so often if he is having one of his emotional mood swings... more consequences.

I am worried about the rumors that I am sure have been circulating, and I am actually legitimately concerned that he will eventually just start telling people - he is incredibly dramatic. I don't think it would come out in a performance review... I hadn't actually considered it, but that sounds absolutely mortifying. I hope to be getting a new job ASAP, so I won't have to worry about that happening... I hope, I hope!!! Awful! I'm so sorry.

D-day was in May of 2013.

Confessed a 10 month PA/EA with a co-worker to my long-term partner. Currently attempting reconciliation.

Together for 11 years. Both in early 30's. No kids.

Posts: 18 | Registered: May 2013
Topic Posts: 3

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