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Newest Member: TowBoatLady (51750)

User Topic: Is it wise to have a lawyer attend mediation
♀ 27148
Member # 27148
Default  Posted: 12:15 AM, December 17th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

NPDx hired a lawyer and filed a motion to modify CS, SS, and parenting time. He wants retro active reimbursement for child support since my 18 year old lived with him full time for the last year. Wonder why he waited so long to file the motion?
Funny, but the other child lived with me full time.

Any way, his lawyer requested an expedited hearing since he is in dire financial straits (making $96,000) and avoiding mandatory mediation.

The judge denied this and is requiring mediation. I am consulting with lawyers this next week.

Is it wise for the lawyer to attend the mediation with me?

Why are you going to the hardware store and expecting to buy bread?

Posts: 3474 | Registered: Jan 2010
♀ 34823
Member # 34823
Default  Posted: 12:45 AM, December 17th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What does your mandatory mediation process *look* like?
Our process here is that you pay the mediator fee and then get *ad nauseum* sessions....until someone cries *uncle*.

You were ordered to mediate, not to come to agreement.

I would go with L *consult*.
Talk to your L beforehand and say "this is what he's filed and why. This is what he wants. I think he sucks and needs to choke on pebbles and here's why. Judge says we need to mediate this, what approach should I take?"
Then attend the session on your own (cheaper for you).
After the 1st session, call your L and de-brief him/her.
Do NOT sign off on anydamnthing without running it by your L first. (Unless it is glaringly in your favor, of course......although considering your X, I highly doubt any of his concessions are going to be in *your* favor)

"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott

In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.

Posts: 8849 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Midwest
♂ 34236
Member # 34236
Default  Posted: 5:27 AM, December 17th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It all depends on your confidence and abilities. If you are not able to cope with the pressure of the mediation setting and need an advocate along side you, by all means spend the money. On the other hand, if your travels through this journey have educated and hardened you, follow Gonnabe's sound advice. If you choose the later, make sure you rad and follow Gannabe's advice.

Endeavor to persevere.

Posts: 593 | Registered: Dec 2011 | From: NE US
♀ 30143
Member # 30143
Default  Posted: 5:34 AM, December 17th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I would never recommend going without an attorney to a proceeding in which the other party is represented by an attorney. Seriously.

Me (BW) (55), Him(SAWH) (58)
Married 22 years, 1 son (19), 1 stepdaughter (27)
DDay #1 January 2004
DDay #2 7-27-2010 7 month EA/PA (became "engaged" to OW before he told me he wanted a divorce)
Working on R

Posts: 1626 | Registered: Nov 2010
♀ 32503
Member # 32503
Default  Posted: 7:19 AM, December 17th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

How has your attorney been to work with so far? I guess what I mean by that question is, since you are going to be consulting with them before the mediation anyway, if you asked for their opinion, would they say they need to be there JUST to earn more money, or if they thought you could handle it, would they tell you that?

Personally, I'm with sundra -- if he's represented, I would be too.

BS - me (53 now); WS - him (53 now)
DD 17yo, DS 13 yo
Married 25 years (together 27+/-)
DDay #1 - March 18, 2011
DD #2 (after 3 + month TT and false R -- the affair had gone underground) - June 28,2011
DD3: June 19, 2013
DIVORCED!!!! and doing well

Posts: 249 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: Texas
♀ 27148
Member # 27148
Default  Posted: 7:20 AM, December 17th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you for your advice. I don't know if his lawyer will be present during mediation. He used this lawyer to represent him for a contempt issue against him. They pulled all sorts of stunts to make the issue drag out forever and the lawyer never appeared in court with him, and he eventually remedied the situation to my satisfaction and I dropped the charge.

I also don't know how the post divorce required mediation works. I will find out.

The attorney I used for the divorce and contempt issue did a great job for me and got me an awesome settlement...I mean awesome. But his bedside manner is awful, I don't like him personally, and he is EXTREMELY expensive. You get what you pay for...LOL I am going to interview several other lawyers to get a feeling for what's out there. Would it be a bad idea to switch lawyers from the one that wrote the original separation agreement and got me such a great settlement??

All I know is NPDx is a sick bastard and will stop at nothing to ruin me. I suspect I will pay for a lawyer to be with me during mediation even though my journey has given me a great pair of shiny red bitch boots I can wear and have worn, but they still sometimes fall off!

[This message edited by Chrysalis123 at 7:28 AM, December 17th (Tuesday)]

Why are you going to the hardware store and expecting to buy bread?

Posts: 3474 | Registered: Jan 2010
Topic Posts: 6

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