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Phoenix1 (original poster member #38928) posted at 7:24 AM on Tuesday, December 17th, 2013
He said he was concerned he may be a rebound relationship for me and he didn't want to be that..
So that made me really stop and think for a moment as to whether that could actually be the case. After a moment of self-reflection I broke out in a big smile and told him that is DEFINITELY not the case. I started to emotionally detach from XPOS in 2009 when I first found out about the years of infidelity (D-Day 1 with subsequent revelations). That made the final legal demise of my marriage quite painless, really. I haven't been in a heap of tears over XPOS for a very long time. That made me very comfortable and confident to say he had nothing to worry about.
I actually really appreciated him making me confront that thought, and the ease to which I realized how emotionally stable I really am was truly wonderful!
fBS - Me
Xhole - Multiple LTAs/2 OCs over 20+yrs
Adult Kids
Happily divorced!
You can't go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending. ~C.S. Lewis~
stronger08 ( member #16953) posted at 9:14 AM on Tuesday, December 17th, 2013
It certainly is a valid question to ask. I've been on the shitty end of a rebound relationship in the past and can see his concern. A lot of people who just get out of a bad M want to spread their wings, so to speak. And if your the one who is not on the rebound it could sting you a bit. Sometimes people get into relationships after a D and find that they don't want to be tied down. And someone winds up getting hurt. Its nice that you reassured him and its even better he asked that question, because it shows that he cares about you.
You cant eat soup with chopsticks.
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