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AceKnight (original poster new member #39832) posted at 7:20 AM on Wednesday, December 18th, 2013
My BS and I are looking at divorcing. Right now we are at a crossroads that we are not able to fill the needs of each other. Other people are now filling or have been put in a position to fill those needs of comfort, safety, release, understanding, and fun.
My past of allowing my affairs to meet those needs that I had felt were unfulfilled in my marriage seem to hard to overcome.
The feeling can be similar to one spouse feeling the other spouse enjoyed the thrills and spills of Disneyland until the park closed and the firework show was over.
Now the other spouse has an entered the park and start enjoying what Disney has to offer; the spouse that has been to Disney is telling the other spouse to come out the park because it isn't any good.
I have been to Disney and now my BS is now in Disney herself looking to enjoy what it has to offer now that she is in the park.
Instead of being in a position for us to hurt each other, it seems the best option is to divorce and move forward. If either one of us chooses to enjoy "Disney", we can do it free of obligation or choice.
Thanks for any responses.
JustDesserts ( member #39665) posted at 12:52 PM on Wednesday, December 18th, 2013
I kind of need a translation here.
Which rides, exactly?
2 year EA/PA. DDay 3/12. Broke NC 6/13 w/one stupid 5 line e-mail (which brought me to SI). Me: WH, 51. Her: BW, 50. Married 20 years. Two kids. Dog. Reconciling...together.
20WrongsVs1 ( member #39000) posted at 1:48 PM on Wednesday, December 18th, 2013
I responded to your other thread as well.
Whether you're the BS or the WS, you need to decide if you want to reconcile (R) or divorce (D). If you want to R, sit down with your wife and ask her where she sees herself in 5 years. If it's with you, happily by your side, then she needs to get the fuck out of Disneyland and not get her hand stamped, because she can never go back. Neither of you can. Are you ready to commit to life, forever, without Disneyland? If you can't promise that to yourself and your BS, then D.
Decide what you want. Both of you. Then act.
fWW: 42
BH: 52
DDay: April 21, 2013
Sweet DS & fierce DD, under 10
Former motto: "Fake it till ya make it." Now: "You can't win if you don't play."
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