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Newest Member: dylan123 (46056)

User Topic: You're not helping me here, bureaucrats!
nowiknow23
♀ 33226
Member # 33226
Cool  Posted: 10:10 AM, December 18th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

DS19 got a letter in the mail from the DOT a couple of weeks ago, but didn't bother to open it until last night. Turns out he had an old, unpaid speeding ticket that he forgot about. The DOT didn't forget, however, and the letter was informing him that his license was suspended as of 12/18 for non-payment. Um, that's today.

Oops.

Panic! Crisis! Help, Mom! What do I do?!?

Since his license was suspended, he couldn't drive himself around this morning to take care of the ticket and to get his license reinstated, so he begged me to show him where to go and help him get everything straightened out.

Never one to miss a teachable moment, I seized upon the one-on-one car time to discuss responsibility, consequences, etc. Shared with him that he may not be able to fix this today. That he may be barred from driving for some time, as the wheels of bureaucracy are notoriously slow to turn. I prepared him for the potential pitfalls - first at the Clerk of Court's office, where he had to pay the ticket and secure proof of payment, and then at the DOT where he had to provide proof and jump through hoops to reinstate his license.

I reiterated that driving is a privilege, not a right, and told him to prepare to be frustrated, disappointed, and potentially angry. And then lectured him that regardless of how he was feeling, he must act with humility and gratitude.

So why, dear bureaucrats, WHY did you make things so effortless for him? Where were the long lines of disgruntled people? Where were the inexplicably confusing forms? Where was the random redirection to another office? WHY DID IT ONLY TAKE 3 MINUTES TO PAY THE FINE?

Ok, so slight teachable moment setback on the clerk of court front. That's ok. Next step was the DOT. No one emerges unscathed from the DOT, right?

WRONG.

There was just one person in line in front of DS, and they were finishing up when we walked in. The DOT clerks were laughing, cheerful, and personable. They told him he lucked out - the suspension had yet to be recorded on his license, so they were able to back it out of the system without it going on his record.

In and out in 2 minutes. No fuss, no hassle.

The hell? HELP A SISTER OUT, PEOPLE!!! I needed this to be painful! And memorable! I needed this to be drawn out, confusing, and frustrating as all get out! I needed DS to get a major kick in the butt to reinforce the importance of being responsible and staying on top of these things!

Sigh.

We got back in the car to head home. As I put the car in reverse, DS put his hand on my arm and said, "Mom? I've learned my lesson and I'm not going to forget it. I'm so sorry that I put you out like this. Thank you for helping me. I don't know what I would have done without you."

Never mind, bureaucrats. I guess I don't need your help after all.

[This message edited by nowiknow23 at 10:35 AM, December 18th (Wednesday)]


You can call me NIK

"Keep your face always toward the sunshine - and shadows will fall behind you."
-Walt Whitman


Posts: 26546 | Registered: Aug 2011
wifehad5
♂ 15162
Member # 15162
Default  Posted: 10:16 AM, December 18th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


FBH - 42
FWW - 43 (BrokenRoad)
2 kids 7&12

The people you do your life with shape the life you live


Posts: 37903 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Michigan
MovingUpward
♂ 14866
Member # 14866
Default  Posted: 10:33 AM, December 18th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Now it is time to present him the bill for chauffeured limo and counseling fees.

Any way, 100 people were surveyed and the top answer to

Panic! Crisis! Help, Mom! What do I do?!?

is

Go quickly, get a De Loren, some plutonium, and a flux capacitor. Hit 88 and go back in time to open the envelope sooner and take care of things before they suspend your license. Oh no wait, this won't work. You can't drive your license has been suspended.


AKA Moo

Think of the haters in your life as sandpaper; they’ll scratch you up time and time again but in the end you’re polished, smooth, and spotless..while they end up useless

We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.


Posts: 53339 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Big Blue Nation
ajsmom
♀ 17460
Member # 17460
Default  Posted: 10:43 AM, December 18th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

OMG...seriously crying here!

We mom's can't win sometimes.


AJ's MOM


Fidelity isn't a feeling...it's a choice.

"Truth has no special time of its own. Its hour is now - always." - Albert Schweitzer
____________________________________________
Me: BW - Him: 200+ # tumor removed 7/09
DS - 31 - Yikes!


Posts: 21119 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: Been Through Hell...On My Way Back
simplydevastated
♀ 25001
Member # 25001
Default  Posted: 11:09 AM, December 18th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Damn you efficient DOT!! Whhhhyyyyyy......


Me - BS, 39 (I'm not old...I'm vintage)
Two Wonderful children - DS10, DD7
Married, for now... (4+ D-Day - listed in profile.)

Posts: 5854 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: In the darkest depths of hell!
lieshurt
♀ 14003
Member # 14003
Default  Posted: 12:09 PM, December 18th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

As I put the car in reverse, DS put his hand on my arm and said, "Mom? I've learned my lesson and I'm not going to forget it. I'm so sorry that I put you out like this. Thank you for helping me. I don't know what I would have done without you."

I just love a smartass

[This message edited by lieshurt at 12:09 PM, December 18th (Wednesday)]


A relationship without trust is like a car without gas. You can stay in it all you want, but it won't go anywhere.

Posts: 13881 | Registered: Mar 2007 | From: Houston
nowiknow23
♀ 33226
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 12:20 PM, December 18th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Takes one to know one?


You can call me NIK

"Keep your face always toward the sunshine - and shadows will fall behind you."
-Walt Whitman


Posts: 26546 | Registered: Aug 2011
lieshurt
♀ 14003
Member # 14003
Default  Posted: 12:27 PM, December 18th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Takes one to know one?

Without a doubt


A relationship without trust is like a car without gas. You can stay in it all you want, but it won't go anywhere.

Posts: 13881 | Registered: Mar 2007 | From: Houston
jo2love
♀ 31528
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 1:27 PM, December 18th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


Posts: 36824 | Registered: Mar 2011
Newlease
♀ 7767
Member # 7767
Default  Posted: 2:08 PM, December 18th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

On behalf of my fellow bureaucrats everywhere, I offer my sincerest apologies. We try very hard to be the grumpy, lazy, disorganized grunts many sources make us out to be. It is obvious we failed at this mission so retraining will commence in short order.

NL


Even if you can't control the world around you, you are still the master of your own soul.

Posts: 7810 | Registered: Aug 2005
nowiknow23
♀ 33226
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 2:29 PM, December 18th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Newlease - if you could narrow the scope of the retraining to apply toward sheepish teens accompanied by annoyed parents? That would be awesome.


You can call me NIK

"Keep your face always toward the sunshine - and shadows will fall behind you."
-Walt Whitman


Posts: 26546 | Registered: Aug 2011
Newlease
♀ 7767
Member # 7767
Default  Posted: 2:59 PM, December 18th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If only I had that kind of power . . . .

Sheepish teens - check
Annoyed parents - check

Retraining to commence in - who am I kidding - we aren't that organized!

NL


Even if you can't control the world around you, you are still the master of your own soul.

Posts: 7810 | Registered: Aug 2005
sisoon
♂ 31240
Member # 31240
Default  Posted: 3:05 PM, December 18th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Saved you a lot of time, though. That's good.

I like the reason he gave for learning his lesson and think it's entirely appropriate.


fBH (me) - 70 (22 in my head), fWW (plainsong) - 65+, Married 45+, together since 1965
DDay - 12/22/2010
Recover'd and R'ed
I share my own experience because it's the only experience I know, not because I'm a good model.

Posts: 10772 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: Chicago area
jrc1963
♀ 26531
Member # 26531
Default  Posted: 3:17 PM, December 18th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That "Oh, Shit" panic feeling alone might have been enough of a lesson...

We can only hope!


Me: BSO - 46
Him: FWSO - 69
DS - 13
D-Day - 12-11-09,
R - he finally came home
Your life is an Occasion. Rise to it. - Mr. Magorium, "Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium"

Posts: 24755 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Florida
Topic Posts: 14

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