Two years ago today I found out. I had suspected something for the previous few days, but I officially found out on the 18th.
You know what's weird? It didn't really hit me until just now. I've been thinking about it/dreading it for over a week, but all of a sudden I realized it was the 18th. Last year I hung out at a friend's house watching TV because I didn't want to be alone. Today...right now at this very moment, I feel sad. Sad and kind of empty. Not just sad for myself (I don't need anymore pity), but sad for my family. Sad for my DS. Sad for my WH and I because this isn't how things were supposed to be. We should have been shopping for Christmas presents for the boys. We should have been listening to holiday music and wrapping gifts late at night. Now, we shop alone. We wrap alone. It's just sad.
Sorry for this being such a downer. I thought it would be a really tough day and I would be a mess. Just lots of thinking. Thinking and wondering when/if/how this void will ever be filled.
