A couple of notes on 180 theory...
It's a program to help you find your strengths when your WS is unremorseful. The goal is to prepare you to detach and leave. Sometimes the WS will find remorse when faced with the 180. That may open up R as an option for you, but that's not a goal of the 180 in any way.
Also, in a full 180, you engage your WS only on finances and children. You take care of yourself (and kids), and let your WS take care of herself (and kids) - no hugs, no sex, no heart-to-heart talks, no question and answers. The 180 sets you up to leave, so none of that is relevant - just finances and kids.
Right now, it sounds like the 180 isn't working fully. If it were, you wouldn't be checking up on her or posting for help interpreting what she means by her actions. You still wouldn't understand her actions, but you wouldn't care what they meant.
JMO, of course.
[This message edited by sisoon at 5:21 PM, December 18th (Wednesday)]