I can't even feel anything. I can't process what he has told me. I can't believe I have to rewrite my history AGAIN! I've had so many days like today - it's just beyond cruel. The last maybe 7 times he's done this - I haven't felt it. I packaged it up into boxes in my head to deal with later. I figured if we get divorced it can be lumped into one big box of he betrayed me - I can just process that and not all the details. So - I can't really feel today. My chest is heavy as heck though. I have been shaking off and on. 15 months into this nightmare. This shouldn't have ever happened in the first place - not giving me my correct history shouldn't have taken this long. It shouldn't have taken me kicking him out to get it.
I have to bake Christmas cookies with my daughter and make her final birthday treat to share at elementary school tomorrow. How do I do that exactly?
Engaged 11/5/15 to the man I'd thought I would never find.
Throw me to the wolves and I'll return leading the pack.
If this isn't what I consider soulmate crap, I don't know what is.
I am so, so sorry. You don't deserve this ongoing torment.
Sending you strength.
So you do it one day at a time until you can't...and on that day you know. If that day never comes the doubt and questions fade and eventually become replaced with strength and conviction.
You've got tremendous strength. You'll figure out how you want to get through this. Have faith in yourself.