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Newest Member: ConfidentJayne (61852)

User Topic: Not strictly supportive family
♂ 41172
Member # 41172
Angry  Posted: 4:08 PM, December 18th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Nrrgghhh! I called my oldest brother last night and told him. Of course reaction is shock, I understand that.

I got things like, 'but xxxxx (My SIL) has taken holiday on such a date so we can come and see you, you know how difficult it is for her to get holiday'

'oh I suppose this means we won't see the children very often then, just like the others from previous marriage'

'can't you just not confront and both go to relate and sort out the problems?'

Supportive not! Shocked yes, understood. I could have done with a 'oh shit, really sorry, is there anything we can do to help' but that didn't happen.

Maybe I am a selfish pig and I just expect too much and want too much. Maybe I should just accept everything, clearly after two marriages and a LTR where they are all going the same way then I'm the common factor and clearly just broken and fucked up. I must be damaged and I'm just pretending to be okay. I mean why have I put up with knowing for sure for 9 weeks and not even been able to confront or shout or get angry? How fucked up must I be...4 children over the years, never seeing any of them grow up and left carrying anger and pain for so many years just to have another fucked up relationship....

Sorry, I'm feeling so unloved, lonely and fed up. I'd take wgf hugs because its the best I'll get. Wish I had a friggin heart attack or something to take me away from all this crap

Me: 42 Her: xWGf 39
Not married only engaged.
Two great kids, both under 6
DDay #1: 18 Nov 2013
DDay #2: July 2011

Posts: 88 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: UK
♂ 31240
Member # 31240
Default  Posted: 5:27 PM, December 18th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sorry you have endure this.

Gently, since your family isn't supportive - and even if it were - and since your GF is cheating, you have to nurture yourself.

Be kind to yourself. Give yourself positive messages - for example: you deserve support and love, even though you're not getting them right now. Be glad your heart is strong. You've got the strength to get through this.

Have you considered IC? A good IC can help you develop your strengths and your ability to nurture yourself, and also probably help you work through the pain a little faster than you can do on your own.

fBH (me) - 66 on d-day, Married 43, together 45 on d-day, same sex ap
DDay - 12/22/2010
Recover'd and R'ed
Most of us know only our own experience. That's not enough data to support a general rule that D, or R, is right in every sitch.

Posts: 17096 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: Illinois
♀ 10468
Member # 10468
Default  Posted: 6:30 PM, December 18th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Why can't you see your children grow up?
Why can't brother and sil come and see you? Or you with the kids?
Why don't you say to your brother "hey bro, an Oh Shit, Really Sorry" would fit perfectly in this conversation. Bro sounds a tad bit self centered.

Ddays 2004 & 2007
I cut my losses mid 2013
Feeling happier every day :)

Posts: 6747 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: Florida
Topic Posts: 3

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