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So my FWW was recently diagnosed with depression. I just had some thought about it:

My thoughts are... AWESOME!!! I am a bit relieved. She has had constant mood changes since our son was born 8 YEARS AGO. Her sleep patterns have always been horrible, she has always been exhausted. Our sex life has been suffering for years. I did some research to try and understand the illness and I have no doubts she has been battling this silently for the past 8 out of the 9 years we have been together. I am not saying this is going to fix everything I am just excited to see what our life will be like when she is balanced. (Usually I would try and set up all the appointments, do all the research, set out a plan for her on how she is going to tackle this and try and solve her problems ) This is her battle I am just going to be there for her when she needs me.

Her thoughts - She is really excited and hopeful that the medication will help her feel normal again. She told me that we have been working so hard on our marriage if this piece of the puzzle can help her get her energy, libido, esteem and overall positive thoughts back she cant wait to see where we can take our marriage. She also thanked me for being a supportive husband. She said she is VERY lucky to have me as a partner in this life.

It is not uncommon for people with clinical depression to cheat. It is one of the contributing factors that leads to a breakdown of personal boundaries. I found the following book to be very helpful to me in understanding my FWW's clinical depression:

Depression Fallout: The Impact of Depression on Couples and What You Can Do to Preserve the Bond

by Anne Sheffield

[This message edited by HardenMyHeart at 8:16 PM, December 18th (Wednesday)]

I agree this can be a good thing to help your healing. But PLEASE make sure this is managed by a psychiatrist. We made the mistake of letting a GP manage my SAfWh's "depression" and he didn't get better, but worse. His correct diagnosis was bipolar 2.

Thanks I will check that book out. Right now it was our MC that discovered this. She has been doing IC with him for about 8 months. He mentioned it before but that was early on. He said he had been watching her symptoms carefully and made her task some sort of test and he said she was definitely suffering from depression. He told her that she can go to her primary, obg or a psychiatrist to get prescribed anti depressants. Then he mentions he felt once she is on that he could better guide her with her IC. But yeah we will look at both him and the psychiatrist. I never trusted primary dr's with mental issues

Not sure if anyone will understand this but now that she was diagnosed with Depression when she gets in the irritable moods or does things I think are related to depression I tell myself not to over react its just her mental illness. BUT I don't allow her to mistreat me regardless. Today she was all irritated because we had to get up early to go to my sons holiday performance. Normal people would get up quickly and be excited to do it. She CAN'T wake up litterally and when she does she is so pissy. I understand that but I still don't allow her to mistreat me nor will I ever regardless of the situation. It took her a minte but she snapped out of it. The told me I can't wait to see the Dr. next week for this. She told me she is so sick of feeling this way.