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New Beginnings :
exwh ditches kids on christmas

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 reallystruggling (original poster member #23471) posted at 1:12 AM on Thursday, December 19th, 2013

It is EXWHs year to have kids for christmas. He sent me an email yesterday stating he "unexpectedly" cant keep the kids this weekend (when his visitation starts) because he "suddenly" has to go on vacation with wife/wifetress. Fine, whatever, i'm happy to keep them. But i ask what day are you returning and he said I dont know when i'm coming back / i dont know if I will be back for christmas. WTF????? my poor kids. the youngest doesn't even know about dad ditching her. he never tells her and leaves me the job of informing her. once again, the dad chooses his dick over his kids.

BS, multiple D Days
Divorced 2010
Struggling no longer :)

posts: 363   ·   registered: Apr. 1st, 2009
id 6603731
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Compartmented ( member #29410) posted at 3:04 AM on Thursday, December 19th, 2013

Wow, that is so awful for your babies!!! I'm so sorry. Give them extra hugs!

posts: 1617   ·   registered: Aug. 24th, 2010
id 6603854
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jo2love ( member #31528) posted at 3:36 AM on Thursday, December 19th, 2013

(((Really & kids))))

My heart aches for your children. I'm thankful they have a wonderful mom that is their rock....always there for them.

posts: 51035   ·   registered: Mar. 16th, 2011
id 6603888
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monarchwings ( member #39891) posted at 3:44 AM on Thursday, December 19th, 2013

Oh I am so sorry. That just plain sucks ass for your kids. I just dont get it how parents cannot want to celebrate with their kids. And what spineless ass not to tell them in person.

posts: 213   ·   registered: Jul. 22nd, 2013
id 6603896
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nowiknow23 ( member #33226) posted at 4:13 AM on Thursday, December 19th, 2013

((((reallystruggling & kids))))

"suddenly has to go on vacation?" The hell?

You can call me NIK

And never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.
― Sarah McMane

posts: 40250   ·   registered: Aug. 29th, 2011
id 6603917
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Bluebird26 ( member #36445) posted at 4:19 AM on Thursday, December 19th, 2013

My ex did this last year as he didn't want to buy Santa presents for the kids as the youngest still believed. Now this year was my turn to have the kids and he tried the hey you had them last year, not my problem you chose not to spend the time with them!

Sorry for your kids to be dumped again, just watch he may try and switch next year!

Why is it so hard for them to put their kids first. I know cause they are selfish but I guess we always hope they will wake up to themselves.

Me: BW

Best thing I gained in my divorce - my freedom.

Life's good.

posts: 1530   ·   registered: Aug. 12th, 2012   ·   location: Australia
id 6603924
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Pass ( member #38122) posted at 4:30 AM on Thursday, December 19th, 2013

Dude, I just don't understand this shit. The Princess is also having one of those "sudden" vacations and just won't have time to hang with my boys. Her fucking loss.

Divorced the cheater and living my best life now.

The best thing about hitting rock bottom is that everything after that looks fucking fabulous.

posts: 3785   ·   registered: Jan. 14th, 2013   ·   location: Ontario, Canada
id 6603938
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ruinedandbroken ( member #29250) posted at 4:46 AM on Thursday, December 19th, 2013

once again, the dad chooses his dick over his kids.

Ha! Story of my life!

Your poor kiddos! That God they have a wonderful mom like you!

“People who cheat feel that life is for the taking, and that everyone deserves happiness no matter what the cost. I must remember these tricks if I ever have my soul surgically removed."
Me: BS 42. Him: WH 41 2 Kids 8&11
Married 14 yrs Together 21

posts: 1622   ·   registered: Aug. 6th, 2010
id 6603950
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JessicaFL127 ( member #26864) posted at 1:41 PM on Thursday, December 19th, 2013

Hahaha. I'm sorry, but the "sudden vacation" thing is just so ridiculous. "Sorry, can't make it, a vacation appeared out of nowhere and I had no way to avoid it." How can I get one of those to suddenly happen to me? I would like to suddenly go to Europe please.

[This message edited by JessicaFL127 at 7:43 AM, December 19th (Thursday)]

BW,35
divorced for 10 years
Happily remarried to a much better choice.:D
mom to two awesome boys,14 and 13
And now to a beautiful baby girl, 1 <3

"But you said your vows, and you closed the door
On so many men who would have loved you

posts: 1286   ·   registered: Dec. 20th, 2009   ·   location: Missouri
id 6604182
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gonnabe2016 ( member #34823) posted at 2:52 PM on Thursday, December 19th, 2013

I hate it when people arrange their kids around their life....instead of their life around their kids.

What.a.Dick.

"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott

In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.

posts: 9241   ·   registered: Feb. 15th, 2012   ·   location: Midwest
id 6604261
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better4me ( member #30341) posted at 7:52 PM on Thursday, December 19th, 2013

What. an. ass.

As the mom of kids who are now 25 and 21 and the ex wife of the guy who did this kind of thing. Know that eventually, he will get his payback. We were divorced when the children were 11 and 6 years old. There were so many times that he didn't even consider what was best for his children, couldn't make visitation, changed plans at the last minute, did things "he" wanted to do, not what they wanted to do. Always had an excuse as to why his choices were "best" for the kids. When they were young, I tried to protect them from his stuff "He loves you the best way he knows how" and "he doesn't realize how much this will hurt you" and kind of followed my kids' lead on what approach to take as they grew older. Now, as adults I can take the "Yep. That sucks. He's selfish and an oaf" approach.

And now, DD25 hasn't talked to her dad in 4 months. And her dad wonders why she is ignoring him. You reap what you sow...

Unfortunately, a parent's asinine behavior does hurt the kids a lot. My DD carries some sad and angry feelings about her Dad's behavior even while she knows it has nothing to do with her.

Hug your kids extra tight. Make it a great Christmas. Enjoy the extra time with them.

DDay 11/17/2010 BW:58
Happily remarried!

posts: 4246   ·   registered: Dec. 9th, 2010   ·   location: Missouri
id 6604674
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ruby44 ( member #41135) posted at 5:09 AM on Friday, December 20th, 2013

Maybe there is a cheaters convention somewhere, mine is going to Mexico with the MOW who is also leaving her young daughter for Christmas. Mine does not want to see the DDs until the evening of the 28th and will bring them back the second. Actually said he probably won't want them on Christmas ever. Thought it important they wake up in their own beds. Plus he would have to do full blown Christmas instead of the 2 presents he got them. But I am so ok with that!

Me BW 52, Him WH 48
Married 13 years,
2 DDs (12 and 10)
D-Day Confirmed 10/24/13 suspected before that but did not want to believe it.
WH filed for D 11/12/13
2/8/14 WH asked if he could come home.

posts: 277   ·   registered: Oct. 28th, 2013   ·   location: Midwest
id 6605348
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better4me ( member #30341) posted at 2:42 PM on Friday, December 20th, 2013

Maybe there is a cheaters convention somewhere

DDay 11/17/2010 BW:58
Happily remarried!

posts: 4246   ·   registered: Dec. 9th, 2010   ·   location: Missouri
id 6605630
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 reallystruggling (original poster member #23471) posted at 3:36 AM on Tuesday, December 24th, 2013

Apparently the cheaters convention isn't over until next weekend-- the very day his Christmas visitation time ends. The kids told me this today. Of course the asshole doesn't have the courtesy to let me know when his plans screw up visitation.

(only 1 of my kids is still under 18) I took time off of work next week to spend time with the kids...now they said they want to spend time with their dad. On MY time. I took vacation time to be with them. He took vacation time to go to Europe without them. And they still want to go, they will jump through hoops for his crumbs. I must have taught them that while we were married. :( I feel SICK and SAD and disappointed that once again the asshole gets away with shitty behavior and his stupid fucking choices still hurt me and the kids.

BS, multiple D Days
Divorced 2010
Struggling no longer :)

posts: 363   ·   registered: Apr. 1st, 2009
id 6609921
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better4me ( member #30341) posted at 4:11 AM on Tuesday, December 24th, 2013

((reallystruggling))

Some times taking the high road really sucks!

DDay 11/17/2010 BW:58
Happily remarried!

posts: 4246   ·   registered: Dec. 9th, 2010   ·   location: Missouri
id 6609951
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 reallystruggling (original poster member #23471) posted at 7:07 AM on Tuesday, December 24th, 2013

I honestly don't know if I can take the high road on this one. The big kids are home on break from university. I hope they realize I took time off from work to be with them, and will make only a short visit to their dad's place. The little one? I'm not sure I should let her go. We have always allowed the other parent to have time during Christmas but if he blows off the kids, should that mean he should get extra time later anyway? If not, the big kids are without the little one (and the little one misses out) for a celebration day and I don't want to disappoint them or be the bad guy who wouldn't allow her to go. But damn, he continues to do whatever he wants. Bonus: I get my kids for Christmas!!! But the rest of this really sucks. Three years later and he's still such a thorn in my side. Any words of wisdom?? And how about dealing with an ex who springs last minute cancellations of visitation on you. All. The. Time. Ugh! It's so hard to plan my free time.

[This message edited by reallystruggling at 1:22 AM, December 24th (Tuesday)]

BS, multiple D Days
Divorced 2010
Struggling no longer :)

posts: 363   ·   registered: Apr. 1st, 2009
id 6610039
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