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reallystruggling posted 12/18/2013 19:12 PM

It is EXWHs year to have kids for christmas. He sent me an email yesterday stating he "unexpectedly" cant keep the kids this weekend (when his visitation starts) because he "suddenly" has to go on vacation with wife/wifetress. Fine, whatever, i'm happy to keep them. But i ask what day are you returning and he said I dont know when i'm coming back / i dont know if I will be back for christmas. WTF????? my poor kids. the youngest doesn't even know about dad ditching her. he never tells her and leaves me the job of informing her. once again, the dad chooses his dick over his kids.

Compartmented posted 12/18/2013 21:04 PM

Wow, that is so awful for your babies!!! I'm so sorry. Give them extra hugs!

jo2love posted 12/18/2013 21:36 PM

(((Really & kids))))

My heart aches for your children. I'm thankful they have a wonderful mom that is their rock....always there for them.

monarchwings posted 12/18/2013 21:44 PM

Oh I am so sorry. That just plain sucks ass for your kids. I just dont get it how parents cannot want to celebrate with their kids. And what spineless ass not to tell them in person.

nowiknow23 posted 12/18/2013 22:13 PM

((((reallystruggling & kids))))

"suddenly has to go on vacation?" The hell?

Bluebird26 posted 12/18/2013 22:19 PM

My ex did this last year as he didn't want to buy Santa presents for the kids as the youngest still believed. Now this year was my turn to have the kids and he tried the hey you had them last year, not my problem you chose not to spend the time with them!

Sorry for your kids to be dumped again, just watch he may try and switch next year!

Why is it so hard for them to put their kids first. I know cause they are selfish but I guess we always hope they will wake up to themselves.

Pass posted 12/18/2013 22:30 PM

Dude, I just don't understand this shit. The Princess is also having one of those "sudden" vacations and just won't have time to hang with my boys. Her fucking loss.

ruinedandbroken posted 12/18/2013 22:46 PM

once again, the dad chooses his dick over his kids.

Ha! Story of my life!

Your poor kiddos! That God they have a wonderful mom like you!

JessicaFL127 posted 12/19/2013 07:41 AM

Hahaha. I'm sorry, but the "sudden vacation" thing is just so ridiculous. "Sorry, can't make it, a vacation appeared out of nowhere and I had no way to avoid it." How can I get one of those to suddenly happen to me? I would like to suddenly go to Europe please.

[This message edited by JessicaFL127 at 7:43 AM, December 19th (Thursday)]

gonnabe2016 posted 12/19/2013 08:52 AM

I hate it when people arrange their kids around their life....instead of their life around their kids.

What.a.Dick.

better4me posted 12/19/2013 13:52 PM

What. an. ass.

As the mom of kids who are now 25 and 21 and the ex wife of the guy who did this kind of thing. Know that eventually, he will get his payback. We were divorced when the children were 11 and 6 years old. There were so many times that he didn't even consider what was best for his children, couldn't make visitation, changed plans at the last minute, did things "he" wanted to do, not what they wanted to do. Always had an excuse as to why his choices were "best" for the kids. When they were young, I tried to protect them from his stuff "He loves you the best way he knows how" and "he doesn't realize how much this will hurt you" and kind of followed my kids' lead on what approach to take as they grew older. Now, as adults I can take the "Yep. That sucks. He's selfish and an oaf" approach.

And now, DD25 hasn't talked to her dad in 4 months. And her dad wonders why she is ignoring him. You reap what you sow...

Unfortunately, a parent's asinine behavior does hurt the kids a lot. My DD carries some sad and angry feelings about her Dad's behavior even while she knows it has nothing to do with her.

Hug your kids extra tight. Make it a great Christmas. Enjoy the extra time with them.

ruby44 posted 12/19/2013 23:09 PM

Maybe there is a cheaters convention somewhere, mine is going to Mexico with the MOW who is also leaving her young daughter for Christmas. Mine does not want to see the DDs until the evening of the 28th and will bring them back the second. Actually said he probably won't want them on Christmas ever. Thought it important they wake up in their own beds. Plus he would have to do full blown Christmas instead of the 2 presents he got them. But I am so ok with that!

better4me posted 12/20/2013 08:42 AM

Maybe there is a cheaters convention somewhere

reallystruggling posted 12/23/2013 21:36 PM

Apparently the cheaters convention isn't over until next weekend-- the very day his Christmas visitation time ends. The kids told me this today. Of course the asshole doesn't have the courtesy to let me know when his plans screw up visitation.
(only 1 of my kids is still under 18) I took time off of work next week to spend time with the kids...now they said they want to spend time with their dad. On MY time. I took vacation time to be with them. He took vacation time to go to Europe without them. And they still want to go, they will jump through hoops for his crumbs. I must have taught them that while we were married. :( I feel SICK and SAD and disappointed that once again the asshole gets away with shitty behavior and his stupid fucking choices still hurt me and the kids.

better4me posted 12/23/2013 22:11 PM

((reallystruggling))

Some times taking the high road really sucks!

reallystruggling posted 12/24/2013 01:07 AM

I honestly don't know if I can take the high road on this one. The big kids are home on break from university. I hope they realize I took time off from work to be with them, and will make only a short visit to their dad's place. The little one? I'm not sure I should let her go. We have always allowed the other parent to have time during Christmas but if he blows off the kids, should that mean he should get extra time later anyway? If not, the big kids are without the little one (and the little one misses out) for a celebration day and I don't want to disappoint them or be the bad guy who wouldn't allow her to go. But damn, he continues to do whatever he wants. Bonus: I get my kids for Christmas!!! But the rest of this really sucks. Three years later and he's still such a thorn in my side. Any words of wisdom?? And how about dealing with an ex who springs last minute cancellations of visitation on you. All. The. Time. Ugh! It's so hard to plan my free time.

[This message edited by reallystruggling at 1:22 AM, December 24th (Tuesday)]