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Newest Member: betrayedinil (61145)

User Topic: Help please
♀ 41202
Member # 41202
Default  Posted: 11:01 PM, December 18th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am not on any Medications or anything but this time time I feel like I can use some. I'm just too scared of the side effects. I quit smoking since 2009 and now I'm back to smoking again. It helps me relieves my stress but I know that it's so wrong. Any advice?

Me BS:34
H WS: 28
OW: 33 (butter face... Thanks to sistermilkshake for the nickname)
Dday: July 24, 2013 (5 days after our 5th wedding anniversary)
7yrs together, married for 5 yrs
Status: divorcing

Posts: 86 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: North Carolina
♀ 40761
Member # 40761
Default  Posted: 11:07 PM, December 18th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I also started smoking again after dday... I hate it but it's just that something to do. I've seriously cut back down in the past few weeks but haven't completely kicked it yet. My IC prescribed me Xanax for feeling rage / helpless and that really helps to calm me but can also make me really really tired. I didn't want medication really so we decided on something I could take only when I really felt it necessary. And I take it pretty intermittently.. Also I've been starting to just take half to take the edge off but still try to work through the emotion. Sending hugs and strength to you. Hope you find something that works to help.

Posts: 181 | Registered: Sep 2013
♀ 35053
Member # 35053
Default  Posted: 11:08 PM, December 18th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


and DBT. It's a therapy for keeping the emotions balance. It was developed for people with borderline personality disorder. I found, for myself, that all the upheaval of infidelity causes the same build up of emotions and possible losses of control of those emotions.

There is a lot of value in reframing.

But if you want something to address depression and anxiety, zoloft is good.

Posts: 478 | Registered: Mar 2012
♀ 39114
Member # 39114
Default  Posted: 2:44 AM, December 19th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wellbutrin is am AD that is also effective in squashing nicotine cravings.

Me BS 49, ExWS: narcissist! Jekyll Hyde. Left in secret early July, moved states. Left home, job, whole life behind and difficult** adjusting. Dog injured and too much to handle. Supremely bummed out.

Posts: 557 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: theagonyofit
♀ 39139
Member # 39139
Default  Posted: 7:13 AM, December 19th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

oh, I'm so sorry. Quitting cigarettes was hellish.

There is an herbal supplement called Valerian Root that you can steep into tea. It tastes like shite, but it is very calming (It's chemically very similar to valium). It's fast acting but not very strong, so you don't have to wait for it build up to effective levels like some prescription medications. Talk with you IC (if you have one) before you talk to you MD---they are notoriously bad at prescribing based on emotional trauma.

Me: BS 46
Him: unimportant
D Day:4-27-13
DIVORCED!!! 2-20-14

Posts: 978 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: BFE
♀ 36408
Member # 36408
Default  Posted: 9:06 AM, December 19th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am glad to know I am not the only one to restart such a bad habit. I was literally shaking when I lit that cigarette. And I truly calmed down, now when ever we fight I find I smoke a lot, other times hardly think to have one. Hate this.

Me BS 54
WH 55
Married 34 years
2 grown sons
2 PA ? EA's didn't develop due to discovery

Posts: 85 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: midwest USA
♀ 15508
Member # 15508
Default  Posted: 10:02 AM, December 19th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

When I was going through the worst fallout from my ex's affairs, my doctor prescribed me Xanax. I didn't ask for it, but she insisted. I probably took about 4 out of the entire bottle and only when I was starting to have a panic attack. It didn't make the anxiety go away, but it brought it down to a level that I could manage.

If you are careful and only take it when you absolutely cannot get through the anxiety without help, you should be okay.

Love and compassion are never enough.

Final D-Day: August 2007.
Divorce finalized: 6-16-09

Posts: 704 | Registered: Jul 2007 | From: Tartarus
♀ 40343
Member # 40343
Default  Posted: 12:18 PM, December 19th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

There is some over the counter stuff called "Calm"

I hear it's like a supplement. My mom wants me to get it:) I am not a medication taker and HATE feeling drugged. I know three people that took it during their D and said it's great.

I was a social smoker but didn't really smoke much independently, well NOW I fucking do. UGH! So I meel ya. Working on Me is my new years resolution, that included my selfesteem, health, being a mom, quitting smoking, etc.

In regards to how to calm down, I blast music in my ears and close my eyes. It's so loud that I can't think about other things. I often feel small anxiety attacks, nothing that I'd flip out for. I just get sudden feelings of being overwhelmed, panicky, and emotional. I go outback, put in the headphones, blast music, and have a smoke. I calm down in minutes. If I'm driving, only the music will do, I will not smoke in a car, gross.

Posts: 74 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: CA
Topic Posts: 8

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