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My deadline has passed without fanfare (happy story)

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TXBW68 posted 12/19/2013 09:39 AM

When he moved home in February, I gave myself a deadline of December 15th to try to make our marriage work. The date was based on the amount of time we were separated - almost 10 months. On 12/15, he would have been home longer than he was away. I did not tell him about the deadline.

Unfortunately, the best thing that happened to us was the separation. It forced him to grow up. To really look at himself - and me - and what he wants in life. While he was sitting in that tiny apartment alone, he discovered that he truly loves me - and no one else. He discovered that he was acting like a selfish prick for years and that the only reason we had the life we had was because I held it together.

He has learned that loving someone is not a passive emotion. It is a verb, an action. He tries everyday to show me in his actions how much he loves me and appreciates everything I do for our family. He doesn't take anything for granted anymore. And he's happy with this "new" way of life - free of porn, internet chatting, FB, inappropriate behavior, etc. He says that he has BTDT and the only outcome is losing me; therefore, he never wants to be that person again.

So the deadline comes and goes. No trumpets blaring. No party. Just another day. I woke up in the arms of my husband, like I do every day now. We snuggled for a bit and then carried on with our day.

My Wayward husband is Wayward no more. I finally have the marriage that I always thought I had. I love my husband and he loves me. We aren't perfect. I still have triggers occasionally. We work through them together. But I have no doubts that we should be together.

And, we both know how lucky we are to have survived this mess and still be together. The odds certainly were not on our side! A great big hug and "Thank You" to all of the people here - and IRL - who supported me through this mess!

Gotmegood posted 12/19/2013 10:02 AM

Nothing but a sigh of happiness for you. You deserve this! What a strong person you are.....

HFSSC posted 12/19/2013 10:04 AM

Awwww. This is so beautiful to read. Thank you for sharing this.

I am happy for you both.

SisterMilkshake posted 12/19/2013 10:46 AM

Happy for you!

Skan posted 12/19/2013 15:04 PM

I'm so happy for the two of you!

karmahappens posted 12/19/2013 15:11 PM


Good for you.

I am happy he has been able to step up.

You deserve it.


megs56 posted 12/19/2013 15:19 PM

I am so happy for you! Your story gives me hope. Not necessarily for my relationship, but just in general. :)


womaninflux posted 12/19/2013 15:20 PM

Congrats. I hope to be you someday.

HurtNewlywed posted 12/19/2013 15:31 PM

I am so happy for you. I like reading positive outcomes like this. I'm only three weeks out from d day so I have a long time to go yet, but reading this gives me hope!

jo2love posted 12/19/2013 15:46 PM

I am so happy for you both. Reading this made me smile.

spond posted 12/19/2013 15:52 PM

So happy... glad some end good.

TXBW68 posted 12/19/2013 18:00 PM

Thank you all for the warm wishes!

This road has not been easy to travel by any means. But in the end, it has been worth it. My friends on SI kept me sane for many months during the worst of it. I hope my story can bring a little bit of hope to others in the same situation.

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