I'm sorry that you found new information. I imagine it hurts much more than the typical tt that comes out after d day because you thought that he was actively working with you towards rebuilding your marriage. It can't be easy learning about additional women now.
But, if you do believe he is not cheating, then there's still hope. But of course this new information is going to make you feel sad, angry and doubtful all over again. Even if his intentions were good in his eyes (wanted to spare you more pain than necessary), all you can think now is that you've been rebuilding and it's all been based on a lie. Not exactly what rebuilding is all about. Feel crazy, sad and angry if you want to. You are allowed to.
I understand what you are saying about wanting the fairytale. You know, I thought I had that. Now I realize fairy tales don't happen in real life. Even at its best, marriage isn't all happy and wonderful.
I understand the loneliness. I don't have very many girlfriends at all. One actually, but I can't talk to her about this. I know she'll say something to my family in a twisted attempt to help me, who will then hate my WH and give me crap. So I come here when I need to talk. It helps to know people are listening, and it especially helps to know that there are others out there like me. It makes me feel less crazy.