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lonely2009 posted 12/19/2013 12:29 PM

so much so, my H noticed and said he is concerned .

I am starting to feel that my whole marriage has been one big lie. I found some information that my H had not shared with me. I have yet to discuss this with him.I believe there are more women that he initially claimed.

I don't believe he is still cheating, but it still hurts.

I felt cherished prior to all of this and he has been working hard to make me feel that way again. I get so sad when I watch movies, shows or read about people's perfect marriage . I know that is not reality, but I want the fairy tale, just once

We moved away from all of my friends and I feel so lonely. I need to find some girlfriends.

Thanks for listening.

forgivingnow posted 12/19/2013 13:26 PM

(((Lonely2009)))
I'm sorry you found out new information. I found out new information in August of this year, my reality was worse than what I thought was the truth. But I realized it didn't change the relationship we had built the past 28 months......does that perspective help?

lonely2009 posted 12/19/2013 13:32 PM

that helps a little. Thank you for sharing.

forgivingnow posted 12/19/2013 13:36 PM

I am not minimizing your pain. When you find out new information it is like you are starting all over, you are experiencing a trauma.

lonely2009 posted 12/19/2013 13:47 PM

I didn't take your comment as minimizing ( is that correct grammar).

I think I am really just having a major pity party and need to live the life I have now.

time to put on my big girl panties with the matching bra!

HurtNewlywed posted 12/19/2013 19:29 PM

I'm sorry that you found new information. I imagine it hurts much more than the typical tt that comes out after d day because you thought that he was actively working with you towards rebuilding your marriage. It can't be easy learning about additional women now.

But, if you do believe he is not cheating, then there's still hope. But of course this new information is going to make you feel sad, angry and doubtful all over again. Even if his intentions were good in his eyes (wanted to spare you more pain than necessary), all you can think now is that you've been rebuilding and it's all been based on a lie. Not exactly what rebuilding is all about. Feel crazy, sad and angry if you want to. You are allowed to.

I understand what you are saying about wanting the fairytale. You know, I thought I had that. Now I realize fairy tales don't happen in real life. Even at its best, marriage isn't all happy and wonderful.

I understand the loneliness. I don't have very many girlfriends at all. One actually, but I can't talk to her about this. I know she'll say something to my family in a twisted attempt to help me, who will then hate my WH and give me crap. So I come here when I need to talk. It helps to know people are listening, and it especially helps to know that there are others out there like me. It makes me feel less crazy.