I see what kind of work H has done and continues to do. Not once, ever through this whole thing, did he say it was my fault. He has always taken full responsibility for the affair.
Today is a good day. I'm in a good place. Will I be tomorrow? I don't know. I just want off this ride and want our life back.
My mood swings are dizzying! when he's home, and talking to me, and owning his shit (finally), I am hopeful. When he's at work, or preoccupied with the computer (huge trigger), I am hopeless, ready to leave.
And even when I am hopeful, I bounce between sadness and full on RAGE.
Why is it that some days I'm so ready to be done with this and other days it's all front and center?
I hear you. I feel like I'm sitting here waiting for something. Waiting for it to be worth it it's crazy making. Some days I think maybe enough time will pass and it will be worth it in the long run. Some days I think I'm wasting my time..... I wish you could just pick one thought and stick with it!!!!
In the former at the moment
Just want a day off this rollercoaster
"We're not broken, just bent. We can learn to love again."