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Newest Member: Starrystarrynight

Just Found Out :
I give up - I am sooo over this Shit....

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mad2

 teeghan (original poster member #40859) posted at 10:21 PM on Friday, December 20th, 2013

So he gets arrested for aggrevated stalking and THEY LET HIM OUT TODAY ON EMERGENCY BOND HEARING THAT GOT CALLED IN 2 freakin hours and gets visitation but only through courts but can still call nightly to talk to the kids.

He does have a gps bracelet he will have to wear...The bond revoke hearing hasn't gone through yet so eventually he will go back to jail but damn how can one person skate by and get such LUCK on the crazy shit he has done to me and my kids..... OH MY GOD I FEEL LIKE I CAN NOT WIN AND I FEEL LIKE JUST GIVING UP THE FIGHT AND SAYING FUCK IT......He seems to win at everything anyways.......

Sorry I am pissed off at the world today..... I just do not understand. I just do not get it at all.

posts: 111   ·   registered: Oct. 2nd, 2013   ·   location: Georgia
id 6606345
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Skan ( member #35812) posted at 11:07 PM on Friday, December 20th, 2013

(((hugs))) I hope that you are still at the shelter and hopefully, he doesn't know where it's at. Do make sure that the place that you're at has a copy of your RO and make darned sure that the school(s) that your children go to have copies as well. What a fricking mess!.

Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012


posts: 11513   ·   registered: Jun. 11th, 2012   ·   location: So California
id 6606403
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doggiediva ( member #33806) posted at 11:39 PM on Friday, December 20th, 2013

I have some questions coz I'm confused..

How did you come to know that the county jail let him out ? Is there a policy in place that the county lets you know when he is released? (I hope so)

Or did your WH himself call to harass you again?

If you have some proof that HE called you to harass you, isn't that grounds to inform his bondsman?..

And wouldn't this cause the bonds people to find a way to get in touch with WH face to face, hand cuff him and have him taken back to jail?

I echo what Skan said too..

This is all so very scary and you are so strong...I admire you..

Don't tie your happiness to the tail of somebody else's kite

63 years young..

posts: 4078   ·   registered: Nov. 2nd, 2011   ·   location: Texas
id 6606451
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caregiver9000 ( member #28622) posted at 11:50 PM on Friday, December 20th, 2013

PLEASE don't give up! You have to find the strength to fight for you and for the kids. I KNOW the courts make it too easy for the perps. I know what it feels like... and I am so so sorry.

You have to project that there are consequences and that you will enforce your boundaries. Make it too much trouble to play games.

Hang in there tee. He will hopefully find other interests.

(((hugs))) we are all pulling for you.

Me: fortysomething, independent, happy,
XH "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
two kids, teens. Old enough I am truly NO CONTACT w/ NPD zebraduck
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

posts: 7063   ·   registered: May. 27th, 2010   ·   location: a better place
id 6606465
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Dare2Trust ( member #21183) posted at 11:53 PM on Friday, December 20th, 2013

teeghan,

Stay positive....

This is good:

and gets visitation but only through courts but can still call nightly to talk to the kids.

He does have a gps bracelet he will have to wear...The bond revoke hearing hasn't gone through yet so eventually he will go back to jail

---HIS visitations will be monitored by the Court!

---HE can talk to the kids...but he can't hurt you or the kids OVER THE PHONE!

---Once HE goes in for the "Bond Revoke Hearing"....his butt will be back in jail!!!

Try to be patient...and keep yourself and the kids safe!

Me BS 59
WH 58
Married 19 years
D-Day Nov 3, 2005
Child: Adopted Daughter 21 College Student now

I can understand being alone; but I hate being with someone and feeling lonely.

posts: 6216   ·   registered: Oct. 8th, 2008   ·   location: PA
id 6606469
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painfulpast ( member #41038) posted at 11:54 PM on Friday, December 20th, 2013

Why did they let him out when he's only going to go back later? That's just wrong. Why should you live in fear while this asshole walks free?

DDay - 12/2010
Fully R'd - I love my husband

posts: 2249   ·   registered: Oct. 19th, 2013   ·   location: East Coast
id 6606473
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 teeghan (original poster member #40859) posted at 1:08 AM on Saturday, December 21st, 2013

Thanks all. I am calmer now. I am still fighting but damn....I am stressed.

To answer ones questions:

We are still at shelter and yes every plave has copy of RO. We have a victim advocate who calls me on every tiny thing even in middle of the night. He has NOT bonded out yet and when he does they will call me immediately day or night.

The reason his other bond hasnt been revoked yet is because that case was misdemeanor and this is felony so.hnadled by too different courts. So now the prosecution in revoke of bond will ask for an emergency hearing in two weeks when court starts back on 30th.

I need to move to a remote island.

posts: 111   ·   registered: Oct. 2nd, 2013   ·   location: Georgia
id 6606551
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 teeghan (original poster member #40859) posted at 1:12 AM on Saturday, December 21st, 2013

I just feel like he is always going ro get away with it all sometimes. I fel like a crazy person more than a victim with him. Ugh.

Bit I am working, st shelter, kids are safe and I am stil doing what I habe to for those babies.

posts: 111   ·   registered: Oct. 2nd, 2013   ·   location: Georgia
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jjsr ( member #34353) posted at 2:11 AM on Saturday, December 21st, 2013

Stay safe at the shelter and keep fighting for you and your kids. Its hard but you can do it and SI is here for you

Me: BS
Him: WS
Married since 1985
Parents to 2 adult sons and 3 of the cutest cats you have ever seen
D-day 8/6/11 Truth about ONS and 9/21/11 Truth about EA and 10/28/15 NEW dday.
Just surviving.

posts: 1849   ·   registered: Dec. 31st, 2011   ·   location: midwest now.
id 6606635
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jjct ( member #17484) posted at 2:22 AM on Saturday, December 21st, 2013

He is NOT going to get away tdear.

You have 40 thousand people at your back.

That is 2 Rupp arenas full of people...keep protecting yourself. We are here for you any time.

huge hugs

posts: 7269   ·   registered: Dec. 24th, 2007   ·   location: texas
id 6606649
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caregiver9000 ( member #28622) posted at 2:33 AM on Saturday, December 21st, 2013

I just feel like he is always going ro get away with it all sometimes. I fel like a crazy person

I want to validate this for you. I understand this feeling!!!!

He is not always going to get away with it. You are going to be vigilant. You are smart and you are a gutsy woman. He may not ever get what he DESERVES, but that is not the same as YOU getting what you deserve!

You must last longer than he does. You are not crazy, but the system and the frustration can make you feel crazy.

Don't give up. We will fight right along side with you!

(((tee)))

Me: fortysomething, independent, happy,
XH "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
two kids, teens. Old enough I am truly NO CONTACT w/ NPD zebraduck
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

posts: 7063   ·   registered: May. 27th, 2010   ·   location: a better place
id 6606663
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nowiknow23 ( member #33226) posted at 2:49 AM on Saturday, December 21st, 2013

((((teeghan)))) Continuing to send you strength, honey.

You can call me NIK

And never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.
― Sarah McMane

posts: 40250   ·   registered: Aug. 29th, 2011
id 6606682
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 teeghan (original poster member #40859) posted at 8:43 PM on Saturday, December 21st, 2013

Thank you guys :-* he has NOT bonded out and I was told today they are trying to place a Hold on his bond due to the revoke hearing to keep him in jail. I hope so.

I am praying and just enjoying kids and holidays. :) THANKS FOR LETTING ME VENT

posts: 111   ·   registered: Oct. 2nd, 2013   ·   location: Georgia
id 6607436
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Jen ( member #26584) posted at 9:15 PM on Saturday, December 21st, 2013

(((tee)))

Me former Booger Bear ...
https://youtu.be/1TcLw3TOIN8
Hand Me Down MatchBox 20
https://youtu.be/iFdOAyyn76M
Love Falls by HellYeah

posts: 19991   ·   registered: Dec. 15th, 2009   ·   location: Where's the fucking rainbow ???
id 6607460
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tushnurse ( member #21101) posted at 10:58 PM on Saturday, December 21st, 2013

Stay strong Teeghan. You feel defeated because your brain is still thinking like an abused spouse. But KNOW this...repeat it often if you need to. You are strong, you are brave, you are fierce, like a momma bear you will do anything you need to yo keep your babies safe. You wil come out a winner.

(((( and strength )))))

Me: FBSHim: FWSKids: 23 & 27 Married for 32 years now, was 16 at the time.D-Day Sept 26 2008R'd in about 2 years. Old Vet now.

posts: 20380   ·   registered: Oct. 1st, 2008   ·   location: St. Louis
id 6607549
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Gr8Lady ( member #36307) posted at 5:16 AM on Sunday, December 22nd, 2013

You have the right to be mad as hell, use that anger to strengthen your rights to be safe.

You can do this...stay strong. All he can do on the phone is talk. We all know talk is cheap and actions speak louder than words.

BS: Me (70yo)FWH: HIM (72 yo)) serial infidelities over past 35 years
DD: Multiple unconfirmed until 2013

friends wife lasting 10 years. TT over a
year a year. Now his health is declining,
among the lack of communication.

posts: 762   ·   registered: Jul. 31st, 2012
id 6607877
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EasyDoesIt ( member #29514) posted at 5:25 AM on Sunday, December 22nd, 2013

Because they're setting him up for the prisons-for-profit system which he will undoubtedly find himself in should he continue on this present path.

Your justice won't come swiftly, but it will come.

Anything less than full disclosure and total transparency is pure bullshit. WARNING! No emotional pollution allowed.

posts: 3756   ·   registered: Sep. 2nd, 2010   ·   location: Georgia
id 6607882
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caregiver9000 ( member #28622) posted at 4:14 AM on Monday, December 23rd, 2013

How are you doing teeghan?? Just checking on you.

Me: fortysomething, independent, happy,
XH "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
two kids, teens. Old enough I am truly NO CONTACT w/ NPD zebraduck
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

posts: 7063   ·   registered: May. 27th, 2010   ·   location: a better place
id 6608735
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 teeghan (original poster member #40859) posted at 4:59 PM on Monday, December 23rd, 2013

I am hanging in there. He has not bonded out so I am a bit at ease right now. :) Just talked to prosecution in FIRST case and they are trying to get the revoke hearing for Monday the 30th. So hopefully he wont get out before the hearing.

I am just taking things day by day. That is all I can do I guess. I will be glad when ONE day I can feel happiness daily instead of stress and sadness you know?

But at the same time I count my blessings that my kids are safe, I am safe, we have a roof over our heads, I have a great job now, and we will be moving into transitional housing here soon and can really save money to get on our feet within the next year :) Happy Holidays everyone

posts: 111   ·   registered: Oct. 2nd, 2013   ·   location: Georgia
id 6609286
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caregiver9000 ( member #28622) posted at 5:21 PM on Monday, December 23rd, 2013

Happy holidays right back at you!!

You will feel something besides stress daily because you are engineering positive changes in your life! I am so proud of you, and I know that might sound weird, but it is true. I know how difficult it can be to get up and do what must be done. You keep doing it, and the payoff will come!!

Me: fortysomething, independent, happy,
XH "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
two kids, teens. Old enough I am truly NO CONTACT w/ NPD zebraduck
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

posts: 7063   ·   registered: May. 27th, 2010   ·   location: a better place
id 6609315
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