After a year of dealing with wife's EA with COW, with no NC and her dragging me along on her leash, I think I cut it good today. She told me weeks ago she would NC with COW except business, she hasn't and says there hasn't been a good time to do it.
I finally, though insistence, got her to read the latter half of the "discovery" chapter in "not just friends" (chapter 3 I think, don't know because I packed it in the luggage that is now on way with her to her parents for Christmas). I was hoping it would at least explain to her what I was going through and what was needed to fix it. She told me it didn't apply to her. After dealing with all the pain for a year, I take what she said as she isn't going to try.
This was right as we were leaving to go to her parents for Xmas, so I told her to go without me, and she did of course -- totally understandable. But I also told her I was going to talk to her boss Monday, which happens to be my new boss, and explain to her what is going on. That I was done with her, that I just had enough and tired of doing this alone with her telling me that I just need to deal with it. Well, I'm going to deal with it, alone as I have been, so looks like it is a new beginning for me (hope that is what this thread is about?)
I recommend posting in the Divorced and Separated forum, a lot. There are good people there, and lots of experience.
New beginnings tends to focus on the things that happen after the divorce process is complete, or at least underway. Things like health, new hobbies, new jobs, and dating.
You're a new enough member I'll remind you there's a lot of really good information in the Healing Library. The link is in the box at the upper left of your screen.
I am also a fan of IC (individual counseling) to help get your head straight and focus on healing and growing into the future.
Good luck on your journey!
((hugs))
